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  陈美人打断道:“这思想是错误的!你要理直气壮的吃白食。你舅舅最大的乐就是下厨房!我这双手从来没切过肉洗过碗,我洗个菜你舅舅都要生气。”起身往厨房走,回头叮嘱道:“不要剥夺了你舅舅的乐,以后远离厨房。”随即手指在空中划个大叉!

  梁爸埋头切菜,陈美人揽住他腰,指着料理台上的西红柿,“我不要吃西红柿。”

  梁爸回头吻她道:“怎么了?你平常不也吃。”

  陈美人噘着嘴道:“你不认为这个粉粉的西红柿像宝宝的脸蛋?辣么的鲜活可爱?”

  梁爸认同道:“好吧,那咱们换个西红柿!”放下菜刀打着商量问:“媳妇儿,咱们是不是该让宝宝磨练磨练了?”

  陈美人问:“你对宝宝不满意?”

  “满意啊,我觉得还可以更满意!”

  陈美人问:“比如呢?”

  梁爸道:“周一至五让他煮晚饭,我周末!”

  陈美人手指勾着他领带不说话,梁爸咬嘴角道:“那好吧,不打扰宝宝学习了。”

  梁灿“蹬蹬蹬”的从楼上下来,小跑到鞋柜,“爸妈,我去补课了!”

  丁薇跑过来拦住他,递给他块榴莲披萨。梁灿摇头,“我不吃榴莲披萨。”

  丁薇道:“放屁,我见你吃过。”

  梁灿道:“我吃榴莲,但我不吃榴莲披萨!”

  丁薇问:“那你吃披萨不?”梁灿点点头。

  丁薇瞪着眼问:“你吃榴莲,也吃披萨,凭什么不吃榴莲披萨?”

  梁灿摇头,“我不吃热榴莲!”

  丁薇指着披萨,“它已经凉了。”

  梁灿解释,“我吃热披萨,但我不吃热过后的榴莲。”

  丁薇问:“披萨饼得是热的,榴莲得是凉的?”

  梁灿点头,“对对对!”

  丁薇点头,“我明白了。我忙活了一下午,你们全家都在找事!”冷哼了一声:”你现在有两个选择。第一,老实吃下去。第二,我整张披萨拍你脸上。”

  梁灿接过披萨要走,丁薇拽住他胳膊威胁,“敢扔掉,你这辈子都考不上大学!”转身回了楼上。

  梁灿屏息咬了口,小跑到电梯间等电梯,又返身回屋进厨房,趴在门口问:“妈,如果有人经过我们楼道上天台,我能不能收过路费?”

  陈美人洗着青瓜,回头问:“什么?你说什么?”

  梁灿道:“我在六楼楼道听到一起纠纷。六楼的住户要收取楼上住户的楼道过路费,说那是她…,”

  陈美人骂道:“太臭不要脸了,这人穷疯了!”

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