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而有一些动作会刺破周而复始的圆,形成优美而有力的弧线,例如腰腹的轮廓,身体的相遇,灵魂的共鸣……
一段反复勾勒的弧线打破完美无缺的圆,一个成百上千的动作描绘出不知疲倦的钟摆,一句翻来覆去的呢喃呼唤出深处的爱,一个又一个片段、一片又一片破裂的残骸、一声又一声含糊颠倒的呼喊,将碎片依次拾起,重建成高大巍峨的山。
我想起梦幻的夜晚,飞驰的自行车,静谧的街道,昏黄的路灯,倒退的树影。
还有咖啡店清脆的风铃,汤匙搅动敲在杯壁上细碎的声响,米咖色的原木书桌,悬在空中轻晃的吊灯。
手里的蛋糕和咖啡,被风吹得猎猎作响的包装袋,坚硬的后座,眼前衣裳鼓成帆的爱人。
迫不及待被打开的门,跑来迎接的小猫,昏黄的落地灯,浴室升腾的水汽……
轻柔而酥痒的撩拨,对我是嗜血的洪水猛兽。我甘愿沉沦,放弃理智与尊严,成为他手中庄严的祭品。我为情爱献祭,神龛上供奉着他唯一的灵魂。
眼前的灯光变得模糊不定,深吻中的氧气抽离。
晚风急剧地撞着窗扉,我在他的靠近中沉醉。
世间远去了窗扉扣动的响声,淡化了街区吵嚷的窸窣,隐匿了滚筒疯狂旋转的轰鸣,在万籁俱寂的时刻,我终于被林渡舟再次占有。
“一滴水落入大海,或者空气包裹着一粒细小的尘埃,都并不会轻易为人所感知。而当我们意识到水滴和尘埃的存在,它们就构成了导致感觉来临的最小刺激量,在与导致感觉消失的最大刺激量之间,形成绝对感觉阈值,”林渡舟哑声低语,气息落在我心口,“在日复一日的生存中,我学会将世界的攻击嘲弄,赶向察觉不到的阈上刺激和阈下刺激,但是……叶清川,你永远在我的刺激阈里。”
每一个字钻入耳中,剩下语音和字符的碎片。
兜兜转转,我把他落下的音节拾起来,细细地品味过后,垂眸看见他额角晶莹的汗珠滑落,仰头笑道:“弟弟,你在表白吗?”
林渡舟没承认,开口道:“师哥,你可以爱我吗?”
他继续靠近,“可以给我承诺吗?许给我誓言,告诉我哪怕年华老去,哪怕情爱被日夜消磨,哪怕众多人格占据生命,你都坚定不移地爱我……告诉我,亲口对我说。”
林渡舟的声音落在耳边,灼热的呼吸让人沉迷,我头脑发昏,看见墙壁上倾斜拉长的影子,浮跃起落,像潮水的律动。
他嗓音低沉,声音轻而低地钻入耳廓,我听见他的话,“说……你全心全意,永远属于我。”
我低语,“我爱你,我属于你……”
林渡舟微微眯起了眼,勾起嘴角,我听见他的呢喃,“好哥哥,真乖……”
我爱他,我属于他。
夜间我把这话咂吧琢磨了好几遍,林渡舟半边脸都陷在枕头里,发丝垂落,遮住了眉眼,水润的唇色占尽风情,呼吸轻柔,小心地落在我的脸侧。
阳台的衣服已经被晾起,晚风吹动衣摆,月光随着衣裳摇动,一个静谧而温和的良夜。
我悄悄抚摸他的脸颊,再滑到耳侧,在夜风里入了梦。
第二天是星期三,街区里叫嚷着卖菜的吆喝声,林渡舟一大早就起了床,窗外透进朦胧熹微的晨光,我躺在被子里,眯着眼,看见床前的身影。光从他身侧穿过,显出起伏流畅的轮廓。
我把大半张脸埋进被子里,林渡舟轻手轻脚地拿起自己的睡衣,抓起来闻了片刻,摇摇头,放下了。
我忍俊不禁,哑声道:“一股腥味儿。”
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