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只知道我拿着酒瓶砸碎在墙上,而后用尖锐的玻璃扎进了蓝予晗的后脑。他喝醉了,当然不会躲。而后柏慕原惊愕的完全无法说话。蓝予晗只支着身体抽动了几下,就重重的倒进了他的怀里。后来的监禁,审查,虐打…都像梦一般不真实。原本我有优秀的学业和光辉的前景,却在刹那间,换成了完全灰暗的未来。这件事本来就是我的不对,更何况蓝予晗家庭财大气粗。所以不管柏慕原如何努力如何作证,法庭宣判给我的,仍旧是无期徒刑。进监狱的那天,阳光格外苍白。我跟在一群高大恐怖的重型犯中间,恐惧到全身颤抖。而后脱光了衣服,检查,剃头,编号,训话。狱警有力的警告直至深夜都回响在我的耳朵中。因为管理的很严,能够带进去的东西太少太少了。等到大家休息之后,我呆呆的拿出诗集里柏慕原的照片,很窝囊的趴在床脚哽咽的哭了出声。不是后悔因为他落得这个下场。只是很难过,从今以后,我再也没有机会见到他的脸。和那双永远明亮迷人的眼睛。和我住同一间牢房的还有四个人,其中有一个来自中国大陆,有着南方口音。他见我哭泣便冷淡的扔过卷手纸道:&ldo;坚强点吧,有的是事儿在等着你呢。&rdo;我抽着气抬头,不明所以。男人似乎把什么都看得很淡,盖着薄薄的背翻了个身说:&ldo;不知道你杀了什么人,但是你死定了,别以为进到这里便没事了,一切才刚刚开始。&rdo;话毕,他就沉沉的进入了梦乡。我满身冰凉的坐起身来,想起蓝予晗生前的音容笑貌,开始体味到报应这个词的意思。是啊,凭什么他死了,我还活着?他的家人不会放过我的。报复来的比想象中快很多。第二天吃饭时,就有个满脸凶相的黑人把我叫起来。他在这不像是普通的犯人,就连狱警都没有敢投过直视的目光,蛮横的厉害。我那时恐惧已经变化成死灰,觉得尽快结束生命也未尝不是件好事。低着头跟黑人走到午休的工厂里,还没来得及关门,就被狠狠地踢倒在坚硬的地板上。而后是劈头盖脸的毒打。我抱着脑袋一声不吭,因为我知道,呼救不过是场笑话。蓝予晗死了,没有人可以救我,我本来也该死。铁拳和胶皮鞋不断地落在我的身体上,口里的血腥渐渐浓郁。我晕眩而剧痛,等到暴揍终于稀了,才喘息的松下胳膊。可是下一秒,可怕的电锯声竟然响起在耳畔。我猛然睁眼,看到个同胞朝我阴阴一笑。而后几乎能把我毁灭的痛便夺去了我小腿的全部知觉。他们没有割下我任何的部位,只是在我全身上下,留了无数的伤口。人类互相残杀的方式其实有多少呢?我觉得,寥寥无几。殴打,切割,强暴,侮辱。这些真的就到头了。面对那些永无止境的折磨,我该如何记录,又要如何回忆?其实没有什么大不了的。即便被打得内脏出血,即便被十个男人轮番强暴,即便被按着脖子浸在恶臭的排泄物里面…我仍旧活了下来。而蓝予晗死了,因为我们共同的错误,永远的离开了这又美丽又单薄的世界。曾经有一度我是麻木而绝望的。几乎已经习惯祈祷,不要再见到明日的太阳。能够默默地死在冰冷的床铺上,是我最好的结局。可是,后来我又见到了他。大学毕业后的柏慕原不再书卷气了。他穿着笔挺的西服,短发精致。就那样安静的坐在探监的座位上,如同天使一样美丽。见了我,柏慕原的第一个表情也是微笑:&ldo;你还好吗?&rdo;几乎已经绝迹的眼泪疏忽间就从我的脸上滑落。柏慕原隔着栏杆伸进手来,静静地握着我的手表情坚毅的说:&ldo;不要怕,我会救你出来的。&rdo;我狼狈的擦掉眼泪,苦笑着接受安慰。柏慕原显得有些消瘦,再次重复:&ldo;我明天就回国了,但我会救你出来的,用不了几年,我就会让你回北京,然后拥有幸福的生活。&rdo;

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