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&ldo;你是么?是同性恋么?&rdo;他想了半天终于问我。&ldo;不知道。&rdo;我实话实说。&ldo;你要不是,跟他扯什么蛋啊?你弟弟什么意思?&rdo;&ldo;不知道。&rdo;我也明白这回答真欠揍,可那是时候,我跟晓风之间确实就是一片接着一片的空白,在什么都没挑明的情况下,我们都在黑暗里小心地试探着对方的防线。&ldo;我看你赶快把婚结了吧!别整天为了没影儿的事胡思乱想。&rdo;我&ldo;嗯&rdo;了一声,低头猛抽烟,半晌才说:&ldo;你有过那种感觉么?看到那个人,觉得没来由地高兴;就算只聊废话,每天也得听听他的声音;不管做什么事情,总要分神,大脑转着转着就联想到他身上去了……&rdo;&ldo;你真爱上他了?&rdo;郭建明似乎有些感到意外,蹲在不远处,用手抓了抓头发:&ldo;操,爱情这东西真他妈的不按理出牌。&rdo;为什么打麻将的时候,会输给一个刚学会的新手?因为他乱打,打到缺门都不知道,而你还以为他那门特别多。爱情就是这样,因为来得完全没有章法,摊上什么就是什么,没有规律可循。它来的时候不预告,走的时候,也不通知。晓风跟以前是不一样了,现在的他很懂得把握分寸,也不拒绝跟我见面,可面对面坐着,他就象是个斯文乖巧的弟弟,湄南河那晚的眼神再没流露过。我经常想,他要是再敢象以前那样用水汪汪的大眼睛电我,我他妈的立刻跟他表白,把心里的话都掏给他。可他不冷不热,若即若离的态度一点都不鼓励热锅上的蚂蚁一样慌乱的我跟他摊牌。郭建明还拿话噎我,说你好不容易尝带单相思的滋味,对方还是个男人,还是你弟弟!真够乱的你。我说你不乱?那头还没离婚,这头二奶三奶排成排。乱,男人也乱,女人也乱,这世界真他妈的乱!可这混乱的根源是什么?人跟人之间的感情不纯粹了,掺杂了太多的衡量和计算,结婚跟买猪肉似的,得反复称个没完没了。我当初如果真的跟高珊珊结了婚,跟她真能过一辈子么?不见得。可晓风给我带来的是一段全新的经历,他开发了我心中良善的一面,他教会了我对爱,对生命的感恩……我们坚信,一定能走一辈子,不管这一辈子有多长,有多短……十月中的第一天,刚到办公室,一个人闯进来。说&ldo;闯&rdo;一点不夸张,那门都快给他踢碎了,秘书王丹还差点儿给他推个跟头。竟然是夏纯刚!我让王丹出去,关了门对他说,你干什么?门踢坏了,你得出几张片能赔得起呀?我知道他那种三流乐队,根本没人找他们录碟。因为常去找晓风,跟姓夏的好歹学会了和平相处,这人心眼倒不坏,也说不上我跟他怎么就看不对眼儿。他说话声音依旧很大,嗓子跟破锣似的:&ldo;你把高珊珊那泼妇看好,别让她到处乱咬人!&rdo;我说你说话文明点儿,干嘛呢?又找茬儿打仗是不是?他一挥粗壮手臂,一脸凶神恶煞的表情,说要是她再敢动晓风,出门就格外加点小心!高珊珊找人把晓风给打了?!我听到这个消息,候整个人都陷入一片震惊,第一反应就是,不可能!她不是那样的人。高珊珊做人虽然有点嚣张,可不是那种能指使人打架出气的痞子。&ldo;你当我骗你呐?她找晓风谈话,刚走晓风就给人打了,不是她还有谁?&rdo;我取消了上午的会议,赶去晓风家里。他不在,手机也没开,我转头跑去&ldo;宁夏&rdo;,大白天的不开门,最后我给冯哥打电话,通了却没人接。我有点毛了,晓风上初二那会,学校有几个流氓堵过他,当时动了手,我记得他给吓得好几天做噩梦,小时候的虐待在他心理留下了深刻的烙印,那是他不敢碰触,永不愈合的伤口。所以我特恨别人打他,肉体上的伤害是其次,主要是精神上他受不了。灰溜溜地回到家,想等天黑再去&ldo;宁夏&rdo;,不料却在楼下看见高珊珊,她脸上没什么表情,却显得有些憔悴。&ldo;怎么不上去等?&rdo;她有我家的钥匙,根本不必在楼下吹冷风。我经过她身边的时候,她没跟上来,却在我身后说:&ldo;我没找人打晓风。&rdo;我站定了短暂的一刻,&ldo;嗯,我知道不是你。&rdo;她没再说话,却忽然从后面抱住我,脸搭上我的肩膀,热乎乎地湿了。不知道为什么,我浑身上下充斥着一种无力感。
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