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从来没有亲自和崇秋聊过这个问题，邵湘宇思虑了一番，靠着柜子坐下来。&ldo;呆在里面是什么感觉？&rdo;过了好一会儿，他才故作漫不经心地问。崇秋没想到邵湘宇还在，而且问了这么个问题，反应过来时自己已经脱口而出：&ldo;黑黑的，暖暖的。&rdo;&ldo;里面舒服么？&rdo;&ldo;嗯。&rdo;&ldo;你这么说，我也想进去感受一下。&rdo;感觉只是轻松的闲聊，并没有任何逼问强迫的语调，崇秋慢慢地放松下来：&ldo;这里只能呆一个人。&rdo;又过了很久，邵湘宇语气平淡地问：&ldo;你在生气吗？&rdo;崇秋说：&ldo;没有。&rdo;&ldo;你在想什么？&rdo;两人的对话速度很慢，似乎都在进行细致的思考。&ldo;在想，和你说分手的那个凌晨……&rdo;邵湘宇屏住呼吸，暗自心惊，难道崇秋又想和自己提分手？&ldo;那天，为什么你那么快就答应了呢？&rdo;也许是在柜子里，崇秋觉得安全，于是沟通便不知不觉变得容易起来。那些原本面对面说不出来的话，也可以像流水一样，穿过分子间的罅隙，安静地渗透出去，传递给那个人……他幽幽道：&ldo;我一直没想明白，现在还是觉得有些伤心。&rdo;呼……不是要提分手就好！邵湘宇心中一块巨石放下，温和道：&ldo;崇秋，我从来没有想过要离开你，那天电话里你跟我说分手，我非常痛苦，我以为是你想离开我和陆祥生在一起。&rdo;每次想起陆祥生对&ldo;宠物与饲主&rdo;那几句言论，邵湘宇都觉得心脏扎针，对于&ldo;分手&rdo;的心结是必须要解开的。他又道：&ldo;我那个时候也在生气，气你和陆祥生太亲密，我以为你爱上了他，不爱我。&rdo;崇秋把脑袋靠在柜壁上，仿佛这样，就是靠在邵湘宇身上：&ldo;你不要生气……我和陆祥生没有什么，我不爱他。&rdo;77教育皮夹里还有崇秋写的那张&ldo;情书&rdo;，如果还不知道对方的心思，那自己就是天底下头号傻逼了！&ldo;嗯。在北京出差的时候，我还不明白你心里的想法，害怕你跟我说分手，所以不敢和你联系。我又怕自己被嫉妒和愤怒附身，强迫你欺负你，你会越来越讨厌我……&rdo;&ldo;你是笨蛋……&rdo;崇秋眼眶发热，说话带着鼻音。&ldo;嗯，我是笨蛋。&rdo;崇秋听得心里暖和，又继续道：&ldo;那时……我很想念你，想和你说话……&rdo;&ldo;呵呵，是么……&rdo;虽然在纸上看到过那几句，但亲口听爱人说出来，邵湘宇还是很没形象地开始傻笑。&ldo;我猜也许你不喜欢我和祥生在一起，和我赌气呢。&rdo;&ldo;嗯，没错。&rdo;&ldo;我犹豫了很久才有勇气给你打电话，因为我不确定，怕你是别的原因不理我。&rdo;&ldo;你也是笨蛋，&rdo;邵湘宇道，&ldo;相爱的人都是笨蛋……&rdo;蜷缩久了，崇秋觉得背有些不大舒服，他微微挪了一下位置，又把那日电话里的事情一句不差地复述给邵湘宇听。对方听后愤恨道：&ldo;那是分公司一个叫易傅知的副总安排的，我当时潦倒消沉，他自作主张给我找了个b，直接送到我房间里来，我没碰那人……我满脑子都是你，怎么会和别人上床？&rdo;&ldo;原来那个副总才是坏人。&rdo;崇秋郁闷地用手挠了挠柜壁。&ldo;我把他炒了给你消气，好不好？&rdo;崇秋腹中叽里咕噜挣扎了一番，说：&ldo;好。&rdo;唔，心里舒坦多了……&ldo;呵呵，小傻瓜……&rdo;邵湘宇带着宠溺地口吻问道：&ldo;后来呢？&rdo;&ldo;那天晚上，我也像现在一样呆在柜子里，又恐惧又伤心……我想，你找了新欢，你不要我了，我要搬到哪里去呢，能不能找到房子租，钱够不够，我还想过，把你的酒都偷走，去卖掉……报复你……&rdo;&ldo;你可真能胡思乱想。&rdo;崇秋摸摸鼻子：&ldo;现在想起来，还觉得自己傻兮兮的。&rdo;&ldo;呵呵……&rdo;真是可爱。&ldo;分手以后我没过多久就后悔了……我想收回那句话，也许你会原谅我，我们仍然在一起，和以前一样……&rdo;不知道为什么，曾经那样痛苦的感受，这一刻竟能如此轻描淡写地说出来。&ldo;可你一直都没有回来，我等得心里好疼好疼……&rdo;
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