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那梅子酒再怎么不上头也终归是酒,让怀风这么一气喝干,头脑便有些迷蒙,上半身伏在炕桌上,直愣愣看过来,好一会儿才明白问的是什么。摇一摇脑袋,甩去些酒意,怀风迟疑些许,小心翼翼看向怀舟,「我若说还想去,哥哥是不是又要生气?」顿了顿,又道:「我是真想去的,只是不想惹哥哥生气。」怀舟呼吸一窒,蓦地想起父亲刚去时怀风趴在他怀中的情景,为着那番话,他一心一意待这弟弟,两年下来将自己一颗心都赔了进去,从此上不着天下不着地,一腔情丝空悠悠悬着系在这人身上,这才多大功夫,怀风却已然没事人一般要离了他去,连亲哥哥也不要了。他心中酸涩难言,又存了说不出的愤懑恼恨,眼神便一点点冷下来,垂下眼帘不置一词。怀风等候好一阵子不见哥哥发话,慌起来,往前挪一挪,贴到怀舟身边去,拽住他胳膊,低低求恳,「哥哥……」只叫了两个字,余下却不知该说些什么,便僵在那里,呐呐地不出声了。好半晌,怀舟张开眼,幽幽问道:「姑丈、姑母再有半月就要离京,你既想去,应是已探过他们口风了罢?」怀风半醉之下辨不出他神色喜怒,又听他问得轻柔,只当怀舟心下松动允了他去,霎时一颗心雀跃飞扬,眼眸都亮起来,欢欢喜喜道:「嗯,定远已帮我向姑母、姑丈说了,姑母是极高兴的,要我一定去多住些日子,姑丈虽没明说,但那露出来的口气也是允了我到南越军中历练的,不过只能同定远一道领兵,当个副将,却不能单独予我一队人马。」怀舟让他这副欢喜神气刺得心口发疼,强自耐住了问:「既是领兵便容易受伤,再像北疆那次伤到不便之处如何是好?」怀风一愣,随即道:「有定远在,他自当照顾我,不怕的。」他一口一个定远,越发激得怀舟气恨,突地一笑,「你那身子倒不怕让他瞧见。」怀风没听出他话外之音,犹自懵懂道:「我们向来一起吃饭一起洗澡,我身子什么样他最是清楚,自然不怕他瞧的。」他说的这些均是儿时之事,其后两人天各一方,自然是再没有过的,此次重逢,那也只是一道吃饭罢了,怀舟也自清楚,只是听他言语中极尽亲昵信任,便如根火引子直捅到心里,腾地燃起冲天烈焰,那是说什么也再压不下来了。咬牙切齿之下,怀舟再不打话,倏地攫住怀风腰身在膝上按住,一只手探进他裤里,寻到那光溜溜平坦坦的私密之处一按,冷冷一笑,「这地方我偶尔看见你尚且要遮遮掩掩,换做定远倒大方得很吶。」怀舟这一下突然发难,全无征兆,怀风呆了好一会儿方悟出不对来,只觉一只大掌抚在他股间私密之处,犹如一块热铁,滚烫骇人,霎时浑身一僵,慌乱之下瞪大眼睛,失声惊叫,「哥哥,你……你做什么?」他一副迷茫恐惧之色,毫不明白兄长此举为何,看得怀舟愤恨恼怒中又夹杂了说不尽的悲戚,一剎那扪心自问不下千百遍,怎的就偏偏看上了这人,倒将自己生生逼至绝境。只是事到如今,再悔过重来既已不能,也是不愿不甘,明知前方乃是万丈深渊,眼见便要万劫不复,然情到极处,也只得纵身一跃坠入孽海,纵百死亦不能留憾。低低一记苦笑,怀舟手上加力,一把扯碎怀风裤子,露出白生生一双长腿,这才缓缓道:「你不是好奇那些契兄契弟如何做夫妻吗,今日我便教你一教。」他语声平稳轻缓,然行止间却流露出一段痴狂伤心之态,怀风从未见兄长这等样子,吓得傻了,直至被压在身下才晓得挣扎,只是他身手哪里敌得过怀舟,三两下便被捉住双手拿汗巾子绑在了床头。怀风再是懵懂不通风月,此刻也明白了兄长意欲何为,只是着实想不通好好的一场谈心怎的就变成了这样一幕,惊惧莫名间语无伦次,只翻来覆去不断叫着——「哥哥,你到底是醉了还是玩笑唬我?」「哥哥不喜欢我去南越,我不去就是了,求你莫要这样吓我。」他连说几遍,见怀舟只是不理,一径解他襟扣褪去两人衣衫,终于再按捺不住满心恐惧,双腿踹向怀舟。他腿才一发力,怀舟已然警觉,侧身让过。怀风一脚踹空,蹬到了坑桌一只脚上,将整张桌子踹飞出去,连带着酒坛、酒盏齐齐摔在地上,饶是上面铺了一层厚毯,亦发出好大一声响动,于更深夜静之时听得分外分明。院子外头守门的小厮自然也听见些动静,不免纳罕两个主子这么晚了还在折腾,只是不得吩咐,又有哪个不要命的敢进来看上一看。不容怀风再行挣扎,怀舟已扣住他一双脚踝分开放到自己腰侧,俯身压下。怀风一击不中,再无力反抗,眼睁睁看哥哥将两人衣裳脱了个干净,赤条条两具身子贴在了一处。抑不住浑身发抖,怀风哆嗦着嘴唇看向上方的兄长,还欲再求,突觉身下一股巨痛,火热坚硬一样物事已直直捅进身子里来,「哥哥」两字叫到一半便疼得变了声,只化作一记悲鸣。怀舟进到里面便停住不动,紧紧摁住身下绷到发僵的身子,伏在怀风耳边轻轻道:「难受得很是吗?」一面问一面指了指自己心口,凄然惨笑,「这里只有更难受。」怀风怔怔看着他,淌下泪来,「哥哥,你看看清楚,我是你弟弟。」怀舟凝视弟弟双眸一时,轻柔舔去他眼角泪珠,喃喃回应,「我知道。」随即吻住他口唇,将一切哀求封在喉中,挺动起腰身。不知何时,蜡烛燃到尽头,银纱灯噗地一下灭了,屋里顿时一片昏暗,怀风已然昏了过去,伏在榻上一动不动。怀舟静静覆在他身上,待心中燥热退得一干二净,方才自怀风体内撤出,披衣起身。此际已是后半夜,圆月偏西,银辉透过窗纸洒了一些进来,朦朦胧胧照出两人身影。怀舟点起一盏灯拿近榻前,跳跃的火光映出怀风惨状。少年白皙的身上布满情事中留下的青紫瘢痕,发簪不知去往何处,发丝散乱着遮住满是泪痕的面庞,束缚用的汗巾在竭力挣扎中已然松动,松垮垮缠着一双磨破了皮的手腕。更有点点白浊混合着鲜红从后庭泌出来,濡湿股间,直打湿了榻上锦垫。悔恨之情一闪即逝,怀舟瞬即镇定心神,抱起弟弟安置到内室床上。内室放着盛水用的银瓶,外壁拿厚棉裹了,入夜前备下的热水到了此时仍旧温热,怀舟倾出些许,细心拭去弟弟周身污迹。经此一番惊吓折磨,怀风神志已失,后庭被怀舟伸入一指清理秽物亦不见丝毫反应,只一径昏沉沉睡着。卯时过半,天际露出一点微白,值夜的两个小厮在门口守了一宿,早哈欠连天,眼看快要下值,心下松懈,顾不得天寒地冻,靠墙打起瞌睡来,才要同周公相会,忽听院门吱呀一声开了,惊得两人扑腾站直,待看清是谁,正要请安,便听森冷冷一道嗓音吩咐,「叫胡太医到我屋里来。」大清早,怀舟发未梳衣未整,中衣外只披了件大氅站在院门里面,一如既往地面无喜怒,只是今儿个不知怎的,从骨子里渗出股冷意来,生生吓得小厮进喜儿连滚带爬地跑去叫人,丢下金贵儿呆站着不敢出声。见小厮飞奔着去了,怀舟转身回屋。屋中静悄悄的,怀风尚未醒来。帐幔低垂,遮住了少年身形,掀起帐子一角坐在床沿,怀舟伸出一只手轻轻搁在弟弟额上,无人处,眉头终是忍不住皱成一团,满面阴霾。昨夜里,他将怀风伺弄停当后才上床搂着睡下,眠了不过个多时辰便被身边动静惊醒,张眼一看,怀风竟是发起了高热,昏睡中呓语连连,一会儿叫爹,一会儿喊娘,初时尚能听得清楚,再后来嗓音渐渐哑下去,只见口唇阖动,再听不淸说的是什么,身上也因盗汗湿了一层。怀舟心惊,将他抱在怀中擦汗,擦到下边,只见帕子上一缕鲜红,原来是情事时后庭不得滋润,叫怀舟大力之下伤着了。那创口并不很大,只伤在尴尬之处,怀舟初时未多加留意,只清理一番作罢,并不曾疗伤,那血便缓缓渗出来,一直未停,待惊觉时,已是将底下被褥都洇湿了一块。怀舟急迫间只想得到那胡太医,心疼懊恼之余,再顾不得许多,叫人去请了过来。胡太医年高觉少,这些年越发少眠,每日里卯初已起床散步,今儿个绕着王府溜达了两圈正要用早饭,却叫进喜儿火急火燎地揪住了袖子道:「王爷请您,恐是有什么急症叫您去瞧,老爷子快着些,小的瞅着主子脾气可不大好。」怀舟素来身强体健,还从未看过诊,如此急着召人过去必然不是小事,胡太医不敢怠慢,赶忙收拾了药箱叫进喜儿拿着跟了过去。到了院子门口,进喜儿止了步道:「主子没叫小的们,您自个儿进去罢。」胡太医点点头,接过药箱进了院子。他一进来,还不容走到正房跟前,怀舟已先开了屋门,冲老太医冷冷道:「跟我来。」
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