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&ldo;陛下……&rdo;我只觉一颗心越跳越慌，下意识想着该拒绝这个封号才好，又想不到任何理由拒绝。他伸手抚上我的脸颊，掌心带着分明的暖意，&ldo;君无戏言，朕起誓护你安宁，你日后，可安心了？&rdo;心中情绪难言，口中只能道一句：&ldo;谢陛下。&rdo;他一笑：&ldo;初夏夜犹寒，回去吧。&rdo;他揽着我往锦淑宫行去，偶有宫人经过，皆退至一旁跪行大礼。他不做声，我亦很是安静，只感受着他为我带来的温暖与心安。心中哀叹，如不是他在我即将嫁人前这样要了我，我对他，大概也不会是这样的心思……他以帝王之名许我一世安宁，只是我要做的事，已注定了我的日子不可能安宁。那一夜我在心绪的千回百转中几乎未眠，又恐扰了他，便静静地维持着一个姿势躺在他身边。面前这张睡容突然让我觉得有些陌生，端详了良久，觉得是没有平日的那般威严所致。这样的他看上去，就像是书中所讲的谦谦君子，也该是少女心中的如意郎君。他就这样躺在我面前，我却不能把他当做夫君。他是帝王，大燕的九五之尊，手握着生杀大权，当然也包括我的性命。这样一个人，我不可能像侍奉夫君那般与他相处，必定要一言一行都极尽小心。伴君如伴虎，我以为做御前尚仪那些日子已经足够忐忑了，却不及今时万一。我莫名其妙地变得很有耐心，就这么细细地看着他的面庞，怎么看也不厌，好像多看一阵子就能看透他的心，能知道如何才能讨他喜爱一样。也不知是看了多久，总之直看到了他醒来，一双眼睛忽然与我相对，犹带了些睡意的一声笑：&ldo;看什么呢？&rdo;我微一窘，即被他拥进怀里。很快，他的呼吸又均匀起来，再度睡过去。我蜷在他怀里，体会着他的气息，依稀记得很久以前，他与其他皇子一起到距锦都数里的围场围猎，正值初秋，季节更替之时忽冷忽热最易生病，我中途病倒，又不愿也不敢搅扰他们的兴致，就自己歇下养着。一连告假几日后，他觉出不对时我已烧得昏昏沉沉，他也是这样紧搂着着我，在马车里向神志不清的我说：&ldo;晏然，我们马上回锦都，你忍一忍。&rdo;直到我病愈才知道他那天扔下了一干兄弟，事后被舒韶夫人‐‐也就是如今的帝太后好一顿训斥。当时，神思迷糊的我也是一路被这样的气息包裹着回了锦都，无比心安。但那只能是当年的事了，我们到底都不同了，他不再是当年的太子，我的心境亦与从前不同。那一句&ldo;朕以大燕帝王之名，许卿一世安宁&rdo;给我带来的感念，也仅止于感念，我不会允许自己动半分不该动的心。次日我依礼去向位晋为姬掌锦淑宫主位的胡夕冉问安。她已搬去了锦淑宫主殿娴思殿居住，见我进殿就行大礼，她一时不太自在，又碍于宫规不好阻拦。一礼行毕，她便忙命赐坐，讪讪道：&ldo;还多亏姐姐庇护才得此位，如今却要受姐姐的礼。&rdo;我吟吟衔笑：&ldo;哪里是臣妾庇护，是娘娘有福诞下皇裔。&rdo;略一忖，又道，&ldo;论年纪论份位，不敢当娘娘一声&lso;姐姐&rso;了。&rdo;她本就长我几个月，先前因着我份位高些又曾助她，她尊我为长也就罢了。现今她是皇次子生母又是一宫主位，我当然不能如此逾越。ru母抱来元沂，愉姬小心接过，凑过来笑着逗他道：&ldo;来，看看，这是你宁母妃。&rdo;元沂才刚足月，一张小脸娇娇嫩嫩，瞪着两只眼睛东张西望。我颈上戴着一条纯银攒丝镶碧玺的璎珞，被他晃晃悠悠地伸手抓住。那小手很是有劲，那璎珞又是个精细娇气的东西，不能硬拽，直弄得愉姬忙手忙脚地哄了他半天叫他松手，他仍是死抓着。我看他这个样子实在可爱，径自解开了颈后的环扣取下璎珞：&ldo;给他玩便是了。&rdo;愉姬&ldo;哧&rdo;地一笑：&ldo;又平白抢了妹妹一样东西，这可怎么好。&rdo;我亦笑道：&ldo;好歹日后要叫我一声宁母妃的，做庶母的还能不合他这点心意？&rdo;正巧宫人奉了冰糖血燕上来给她，她把元沂交回ru母手中，笑而将血燕推到我面前：&ldo;来看我一趟还失了个璎珞，这血燕算赔罪了。缠枝，去盛碗银耳羹来。&rdo;我也不多推辞，慢条斯理地持着调羹舀了一舀，送了一勺入口：&ldo;也算沾娘娘的光，平日里可吃不到这血燕。&rdo;
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