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抬头,见宏晅凝重的神色中透着怜惜与不舍,终是沉下一口气道:&ldo;传旨下去,锦淑宫封宫,除去静月轩良玉阁两处以外,旁的宫人暂且遣走。&rdo;他的视线抬起,投向愉贵姬的寝殿,浮起一抹悲意:&ldo;沈循,贵姬究竟如何?&rdo;&ldo;贵姬娘娘怕是……撑不到天明了。&rdo;沈循如此回说,又重重一叩首,&ldo;臣无能。&rdo;我们退出娴思殿,仍是如来时一般的黑夜。寒冷的夜风飕飕的刮着,半点觉不出春日即将到来的气息。愉贵姬,我不久前还在同她打趣,要她好好养病,以免春来时看不了美景。她却这样快就要香消玉殒,还扔下了尚不足岁的元沂。我想着与她相识的这些日子,大约算不得什么亲厚吧,但到底还是熟络的。我当日为了给自己图个清净设法让她得了宠,却不成想她会就此有了皇子,又会这么快送命。宏晅,他待愉贵姬也算不得多好,也不知这其中又有多少是看在元沂的份上。可他……应该也还会念上她一阵子,哪怕也还是看在元沂的份上。冷风簌簌地灌进心里,凉得刺骨。她以宫女的出身位居二十七世妇、掌一宫之主,却很快就不会有什么人记得她了,甚至是她的儿子。这才叫命苦。我转身回望不远处的娴思殿,突然滞了脚步,像下了很大决心一般道:&ldo;回娴思殿。&rdo;&ldo;姐姐,这么晚了。&rdo;婉然打着宫灯略有不解地劝道,&ldo;何况,陛下还在娴思殿……&rdo;那是他次子的生母,他到底还是肯陪她一程。我静默着,轻轻说:&ldo;不必惊动陛下,我就在殿外候着。&rdo;婉然不解之意更甚,我眺望着那一处灯火通明,&ldo;卯时,陛下要去早朝,不能让愉贵姬娘娘这样离开。&rdo;他不会为她误了早朝,哪怕他知道她等不到他下朝。我很清楚这些,强逼着自己不去想若有一日我与愉贵姬遇到了同样的事情,他是否也会任由着我独自死去。宏晅一直在娴思殿留到了寅时二刻,出来见了我显是一怔。我沉默地行了礼,问他:&ldo;贵姬娘娘如何了?&rdo;他悲悯苦笑:&ldo;睡着。&rdo;一颌首续说,&ldo;朕下朝后便来。&rdo;&ldo;恭送陛下。&rdo;我复行下礼去,待他离去后提步进了殿。愉贵姬静静睡在榻上,苍白的病容在烛火暖融融的光线下有了几分红润。她好像睡得并不安稳,羽睫不时的轻颤,我不敢去猜想她梦到了什么。她忽而双眉死锁地攥紧了手,久久也不放开,好像意识到了一切都行将离去。&ldo;元沂……&rdo;她紧张地唤了一声,我恍然大惊,一叠声叫来婉然:&ldo;快去长秋宫,求皇后娘娘把皇次子送来一见。&rdo;&ldo;可……可是……&rdo;婉然怔神道,&ldo;锦淑宫已然封宫了啊。&rdo;我颓然坐回去,回过身握住愉贵姬的手,感到无助不已。眼泪弥漫出来,我对着不知是否还有意识的她道:&ldo;姐姐,是臣妾的错……是臣妾为了脱自己的干系请旨封宫的……&rdo;我紧咬下唇,泪水仍是一滴滴落在衣袖上,&ldo;姐姐,不是元沂不孝,也不是皇后娘娘不体谅……是臣妾的错!&rdo;从一开始,就都是我的错,是我当初给庄聆写了那个&ldo;渔&rdo;字。握在我手中的手微微一搐,我微惊,她又一动。擦着眼泪去看她,见她眉头蹙了一蹙,艰难地缓缓挣了眼。不禁心下大喜,再度叫来婉然:&ldo;快去!告诉封宫的守卫,说愉贵姬娘娘醒了,要见皇次子!&rdo;&ldo;妹妹……&rdo;愉贵姬虚弱地抬手扯住我的袖口,亦止住了我的话,&ldo;不必了,我知道,我时辰不多了是不是?今日这么冷,元沂还小,何苦累他一趟……&rdo;她侧脸望向窗外,搁着窗纸,仍依稀能看出外面是无尽的黑夜,她凄凄一笑:&ldo;今日真冷。我进宫五年了,好像只有头年的那个大寒可以和今天一比。&rdo;我不敢开口,怕此时一开口眼泪就会跟着出来。她抿一抿唇,仍是看着窗外:&ldo;大寒过了,春天就不远了。&rdo;她重重沉下一口气,面上笑意迷离,&ldo;我的家在梧洵。从前在梧洵行宫的时候,每年上元、中秋都可以见到家人,一年里最盼的也就是那两天。掌事宫女心情好,就会准我们在家住上两日,可从此以后,我回不去了吧……&rdo;

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