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悲愤归悲愤，郑颖风暂时还是逃脱不了奴隶的命运，只好认命的替李好好跑腿，然后才能找陆羽共进午餐。陆羽对郑颖风的异样也有所觉察。这家伙最近天天神神叨叨的不知道在忙什么，每天一到下课就溜得不见人影，中午吃饭的时候，还要先消失一阵子，才回来吃饭。这种事对别人来说不算什么，可是对饿鬼投胎的郑颖风来说就是一件非常值得注意的希奇事，根据他一贯的信念：人是铁，他是钢，没有铁哪来的钢。就算是天塌下来，在没砸到他之前都要抓紧时间吃饱。&ldo;一个视吃饭为人生大事的饭桶，有什么事情能重要到让他牺牲吃饭时间？太值得研究了。&rdo;陆羽一边吃饭一边想，抬头看看墙上的钟，12点20，餐厅里的人也不多了，陆羽也不急，因为按这两天规律来看郑颖风一般会在这个时间出现。果然不出所料，他还没想完，郑颖风像一阵风似的刮进来，大叫着：&ldo;饿死了，饿死了！我的饭呢？&rdo;陆羽把饭盒拿出来，郑颖风打开一看，都是喜欢吃的饭菜，还是热的。感动得热泪盈眶：&ldo;小羽羽，你对我真是太好了。&rdo;&ldo;八戒，你最近几天忙什么呢？&rdo;陆羽决定先直接了当的问他。&ldo;八戒&rdo;是陆羽对郑颖风的爱称，曾几何时，郑颖风流着泪说：&ldo;我这么玉树临风，潇洒倜傥，你叫我八戒。这也忒侮ru人了！&rdo;陆羽说：&ldo;我要是不承认你是八戒，我也忒侮ru全天下的猪了，思量再三我还是选择侮ru你吧。&rdo;于是乎郑颖风的别号就正式定为&ldo;八戒&rdo;了。&ldo;私人有一点点小事，呵呵。&rdo;郑颖风含糊其辞，狼吞虎咽g。&ldo;哦，小事。&rdo;陆羽一点也不意外，对付郑颖风这种狡猾之徒，跟纪晓岚对付和绅是一个理：一招是根本没用的。于是点点头也不再追问，低下头微微一笑，心说：&ldo;小样，你不说我也不逼你，我看你小子什么时候露出马脚。&rdo;郑颖风看着一脸高深莫测的陆羽，呲着牙笑得有点心虚，正想开口解释，陆羽摆摆手说：&ldo;我要去练球了，你今天要是再不洗碗，我回来把你……&rdo;他做了个咔嚓的手势，转身走了。&ldo;洗碗&rdo;两个字，比催命符还有效，郑颖风全力加速，扒完了饭。可惜为时已晚，陆羽已经走的不见人影。想起陆羽临走时那种犀利的眼神和那个残暴的手势，他打了个寒颤，乖乖地去涮碗。命苦啊，边涮着碗边叹气下定决心：&ldo;下次吃饭一定要比陆羽快那么一点点。&rdo;这句话同样被周星星化腐朽为神奇用在《大话西游》里，猪八戒说，本来我比大师兄高那么一点点，因为多了你这个累赘，他才比我高那么一点点。然后流传千古。郑颖风的&ldo;奴隶&rdo;生涯（1）正如陆羽所料，郑颖风一定会露出马脚。不幸地是他很快就暴露了，不过这也是情有可原，每天为李好好当牛做马，差遣来差遣去，他想不暴露也难。这天放学前李好好发个短信，通知郑颖风，说想去家乐福买东西。正巧陆羽的篮球队有训练，郑颖风就顺手拿了陆羽的车，一边防范警察叔叔，一路卖命狂蹬，李好好催着要去家乐福。好容易到了家乐福，郑颖风累得吭哧吭哧的喘粗气，李好好显然没有什么怜香惜玉之心，不但没有贴心的来一句：&ldo;辛苦你了。&rdo;居然用一种叫&ldo;怜悯&rdo;的眼神看着郑颖风，还叹了一口似有若无的气：&ldo;唉，瞧你累得跟狗一样，真没体力，早知道我打车来了。&rdo;李好好那种眼神和语气深刻地打击到郑颖风！他堂堂一跆拳道黑道二段高手，无论身体素质，意志耐力的修为都是出类拔萃的。居然被李好好讥为没体力，这对一个普通男人来说尚且是很大的羞ru，何况是他这样的武林高手。看着李好好优雅的走进家乐福的背影，郑颖风在心里狂靠：&ldo;这什么女人哪，口刁心毒，我是为了陆曼儿才甘愿给你做牛做马，忍气吞声受你欺压，你以为我怕你啊！不体谅我为爱牺牲的伟大精神，居然还嘲笑我没体力，死妖女，等我追到陆曼儿我一脚揣你进黄浦江。&rdo;郑颖风气得几乎抓狂。好不容易压制住破口大骂的欲望，跟着李好好进了超市。今天我们的李好好将通过自己的身体力行，生动无比地向郑颖风演绎时间流逝这种形而上概念，并成功的把复杂抽象的概念形象化。按照郑颖风的逻辑，买个东西顶多花几分钟，就算是女的花费时间多点，也不过十几二十分钟。
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