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她的笑容里渗进一丝勉强,是惯有的失望的神色,却仍然抱着万分之一的希望。&ldo;我们在家办一个生日晚会,你把同学朋友都请来,大家一起好好庆祝一下,怎么样?&rdo;我笑笑:&ldo;生日而已,不必太排场铺张。&rdo;&ldo;人多热闹点会不会更有意思?潇潇,你再考虑考虑?&rdo;&ldo;下次吧。&rdo;我说,&ldo;以后有的是机会。&rdo;她缄默了,神情黯淡忧伤。过了一会,她犹豫着说:&ldo;那么‐‐到时穿上你爸爸送给你的裙子,好‐‐吗?&rdo;语气卑微得仿似在乞求。我遽然起身走到一边不去领受。我从来就没有因她林鸣雍夫人的身份而对她有所不满,在我心中她与林宅外任何一条大街上的任何一位陌生妇人并无两样,她实在不必将我与她丈夫之间的千年藩篱担到自己的肩头上,她并不欠我什么。&ldo;潇潇?&rdo;她的声音更加轻微,更加无措。&ldo;再说吧。&rdo;我难掩心中的不耐,每一年都要问我相同的问题,每一年得到都是相同的答案,不累吗?&ldo;那‐‐好吧。&rdo;她不安地站起来问:&ldo;你要下楼吃晚饭吗?&rdo;&ldo;不了。&rdo;&ldo;那我叫张嫂给你端上来,要多吃一点,啊?&rdo;她的眉目间流露出自然的慈爱,&ldo;你太瘦了。&rdo;我目送她步出房门。如果她阴毒一些、刻薄一些,又或者是索性放任我自生自灭,她都会比现在要过得好。有我这样的继女注定她的苦难无边。梅平的身形才刚消失,林智转角就踏进来。我拿起盒子走进更衣室。他跟在我背后:&ldo;我奇怪他怎么会有这种细心,每次出国必给你带礼物。&rdo;我把盒子扔进衣橱。他冷冷地笑起来:&ldo;不管是你爸爸还是我妈妈对你的感情,对你来说都是随手可扔的垃圾。林潇,我怀疑就算是最没人性的一条野狗都要比你懂得感恩。&rdo;&ldo;如果我做的不对,那么你以为你又在做着什么?&rdo;我还以冷眼,他不也是把我对他的忍让当作伤人的利箭?我又到:&ldo;你也不必不稀罕,我现在就可以收回。&rdo;他哑口,然后暴躁地一拳捶在墙上说:&ldo;我为上次吵架牵扯到你母亲的话道歉。但我不认为我骂你骂得过分,与你的所作所为相比,我还嫌自己骂得太轻‐‐算了!也不必再做这些无畏的争执,我只问你,如果你真的对这宅子里的一切无动于衷,你为什么不搬走?&rdo;我双手扶在衣橱的活动门上,竟使不出力气去把它和上。&ldo;你不要他们的爱,可以,我阻止不了你,但是我决不会再睁着眼睛看他们倍受你的伤害!林潇,如果你不打算有所改变,那么我希望你可以在近期内搬出去!&rdo;茫然地看着他,我一句话也说不出来,恍惚之间他那张咄咄逼人的脸愈变愈小,飘回到多年以前。第一次见到他是我六岁多一点,父亲将他抱回林家来,问我这个小弟弟可不可爱,我看着他胖嘟嘟的小脸蛋不哼气。他挣开父亲的手臂,摇摇晃晃地走到我跟前,拽着我的腿清晰地吐出一个&ldo;抱&rdo;字,他要我&ldo;抱抱&rdo;,我至少仍不明白当初自己怎么会那么自然地弯下身去,极吃力地抱起他,他的小胳膊一搂上我的脖子侧头就亲我的脸,说着&ldo;亲亲&rdo;,沾了我一脸口水,到这时,父亲身边的纤丽女子才向我走过来,对他说小智乖叫姐姐,他小嘴一张脱口就喊&ldo;姐&rdo;。就这样,父亲把梅平和他迎进林家,一弹指就是十五年。十五年之后他对我说希望我可以在近期内搬出去。我合上柜门,木然地从他面前走过去,看见他红了眼眶,他哑声嘶叫:&ldo;你没有给我第二种选择!&rdo;我充耳不闻,笔直地走出房外,走下楼梯。然后就看见了父亲,他也看见了我,空气如死水般凝固。&ldo;进来。&rdo;他说,打开书房的房门。我在原地僵站了许久,最后终于踱进书房。&ldo;坐。&rdo;他说。我在他对面坐下。隔着一张大办公桌。他定睛看我,长时间地,竟似痴了过去。无事何必找我,我站起来说:&ldo;我出去了。&rdo;他回过神,微喟:&ldo;长得就跟你母亲当年一个模样。&rdo;提到母亲时,他整张脸上每一线条都蓄满黯伤,真实得我不能否认或者假装没看到。

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