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伸手去开车门,却是上了锁的,我踱到驾驶座那厢。一拉开门浓烈的烟味就扑鼻而来,呛得人想后退,一只有力的手臂却适时伸了出来,讲我拦腰搂紧车内。我被置于冷如风的腿上,靠着方向盘。他吸了口烟,眼中含笑说:&ldo;我折翼的天使蜕变成了夏夜的精灵。&rdo;气管受到烟气的刺激,我咳了几声。&ldo;戒了?&rdo;他问,熄了烟打开汽车的滤气系统。&ldo;本来就没上瘾。&rdo;他怎的连这等小事都知道?他的头往后靠枕着座椅,眼内的笑意逐渐消隐,我注意到他一向飞扬的眉宇此时微蹙了起来,在幽暗寂静和几缕发丝的掩映下益显缄默内敛。他的视线仿似落在我半露于外的睡衣肩带上,却又似没有焦距,穿透我的身体不知停在遥远的何方。我讶异的不敢开声打扰他,印象中他的情绪极其稳定,逗趣的时候眉峰轻佻,夸奖人时嘴角含笑,似乎就算是泰山崩于面前也不能撼动他分毫,言行举止之间让人觉得他很随和,容易亲近,而等到想去亲近他时,却又会发觉他很客气,淡淡的表情让人望而止步。&ldo;在想什么?&rdo;他问,目光凝结在我脸上,手指也扶了上来,沿着我的颊线来回移动,另一只手执着我的手。&ldo;我以为你不要我了。&rdo;被他瞧得心慌,我抬手想拿开他撩起我柔弱情思的手,我讨厌他的这些小动作‐‐因为爱死了,所以讨厌。他的手竟顺势一滑移到我颈后,人也缓缓倾身向前。玻璃窗透进来几许光线,虽然暗朦却足以让我看清他脖子上的渍红是唇印的印记,然后又闻到了似有似无的香水味道,我的头一偏,他的唇落在我脸颊。他扳回我的脸,我垂下眼帘,发觉他削薄的唇好像蛮干净,亲了亲他,没有胭脂味,便由得他吻上来。他吻我,很轻很轻,很久很久,我只觉体内的魂魄要飞出来。&ldo;真的不一样。&rdo;他呢声自语,低悄中透着迷惑。他还咕噜了一些什么,我听不清楚似乎是一连串的诅咒,而挨骂的是东西方诸神。他将脸惯常地埋于我的颈窝,如丝般的黑发在我指间无声滑动。想说些什么,又觉得什么都说不出来,也就静然。不知过了多久,困意开始不可抵挡地袭来,我轻拍怀中那人的脊背:&ldo;如风?&rdo;他身体的肌理在我掌下收缩,动了动,稍稍抬头将覆散在他脸上我的发丝吹开些fèng隙,右手在我背后的仪表板上窸窣摸索,一会儿座椅伸展贴合,他勾着我倒下去,开始亲吻我。&ldo;我该说晚安还是早安,宝贝?&rdo;游戏人间的冷如风又回来了,我闷声不吭。他推开我的袍子,用牙齿咬着我的睡衣肩带将之拉下。我抗拒地挣扎。他逼迫我看他:&ldo;我要。&rdo;语气不容置喙。&ldo;除非你以后、将来、永远都要!&rdo;我亦坚决,他不能对我呼之即来挥之即去。&ldo;好,我就永远都要。&rdo;回答淡定干脆,完全出乎我意料。我戳戳他的胸膛:&ldo;凡事三思&rdo;,我可是认真的。他将我手上的戒指扳高让我看:&ldo;我从没打算放你走,不相信?连我自己都有点不信‐‐你一而在地扰乱我的情绪,分开一段时间对你我都有好处。&rdo;我侧过脸,再小的心思都瞒不过他吗?是,分开也是我所要,否则不至于蠢笨的去触怒他。把身子给了他,我欢喜他是我的第一个,然而若是一颗心不知不觉中也系到他身上,后果则是堪虞。前车之鉴为后事之师,罗纤衣的心碎欲绝,卓香运的含恨眷恋,我至今未忘。爱上他无疑是走上一条绝路,没有出路也没有退路。谁不害怕自己会坠进万劫不复?&ldo;你会爱上我的。&rdo;他说,像在陈述一个既成事实,听得我心惊ròu跳。&ldo;你的人,你的心,你的思想和灵魂,一切一切我全部都要,约期如你所愿,就是永远。&rdo;我吓了一大跳,然后才懂得苦恼:&ldo;你要来做什么?!&rdo;以便可以随时随地随心所欲?他翻身将我困在他与软垫之间,盯了我半晌,道:&ldo;你要爱?很高兴我们达成共识,我现在就给你做。&rdo;我对他大打出手:&ldo;你这个色情狂!你不能这么残忍!&rdo;他三两下就化解了我的攻势,神情专断:&ldo;我要你爱我,你就必得爱我。如果你认为这对你很残忍,那么就是这样残忍了。&rdo;

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