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她满足地深了一口气,朝小姐的房间走去。&ldo;小姐。&rdo;‐‐她看见小姐杜丽娘,默默地坐在那里,花样绣线被抛在了一边。春香机敏地收拾起已快要熄灭的香,没有多问。杜丽娘走了出去,倚在栏杆上。春香好像听见她自言自语:&ldo;一切都只是个梦而已。&rdo;窗外春色,耳边莺啼更添了心上莫名感伤,她叹息着:&ldo;梦回莺啭,乱煞年光遍。人立小庭深院。&rdo;她的处境和心境竟和书页间的美人不谋而合:&ldo;剪不断,理还乱,闷无端。&rdo;对于生活,她早有不满却又习以为常。思想的空间再大,现实的空间却依然很小。能做的努力,就更少。内心单纯明净的杜丽娘,在惊梦之前。麻木安心的做着顺民,她吐出一丝丝的苦闷,渐渐郁结成了一个茧‐‐那迫使她反抗的动力,还在途中,没有抵达。独立小院的杜丽娘叹息着,只觉得春色恼人,不知打哪来的忧闷。她刚做了一个梦,那该是一个让人心存眷恋,甚至有些不足为外人道的梦,也许是个面目模糊的男人,像一阵春风拂过桃花,她未及欢欣,他已遽然无踪。梦短的几乎无痕,才叫她不禁暗自埋怨起窗前的莺啼将她惊醒。醒过来后,她只记得隐约的情节和清晰的感觉。心里像有一尾鱼在游来游去,但她怎么也捉不住。这让她很惆然,很烦闷。这又何尝不是一个危险的暗示,来日她一样会被惊起,独立深院。只是下次。下一次的幽怀就没有这么好排遣了。她一径发闷,眼前庭院深深,春意沉沉。她只觉得心事层层,却还没有开出来,只管饱饱地紧紧地压在心头。生活如此单调乏味呵。无非刺绣,纺织,fèng纫等女红,再来是读几卷诗书,和春香闲话几句,两个不出二门的小丫头能有什么时鲜的话题,能架得住天天腻在一起?春香又不喜读书,她纵有满腹诗情也无知音倾谈。父母用心择选了一位饱学的老秀才做她的老师,期望把她教导的更知书达理,循规蹈矩。事与愿违。殊不知,杜丽娘的觉醒恰是从父母决定为她延师开塾开始的。老先生才情枯涩,为人迂腐。刚开始讲《关雎》,可以讲到让人昏昏欲睡,然而就像一个微小的机会可以改变一个人一生的际遇。一个平庸的男子,照样可以触发一个才女的情思。杜丽娘恰是从陈最良身上照见自己是个才貌双全的女孩子。她读了很多书,写的一手好字,有不错的诗文功底,不俗的品味,而她的老师只知照本宣科。终身在贫寒中挣扎的男子,读书只为谋生,连砚台有眼为佳也不懂。当人开始意识到自己很出色,和别人很不一样时,她的孤独感就出现了!她开始有她的苦闷‐‐怀才不遇。这,竟然和远方她未来的恋人惊人的一致。此时她倚栏远望,所望之处恰是来日柳梦梅自岭南来时要经过的梅关。这又是一个神秘地暗示,然而此时,人不能知。与自觉长大,开始多愁善感的杜丽娘比,春香只是个爱玩的小丫头,她念念于游园的约定。不失时机地提醒她,我们该去游园了。经过提示,杜丽娘终于想起来前几天说起的游园一事。她自然要回房精心打扮一番才肯出门。有了寄托,她心情转好。&ldo;袅晴丝吹来闲庭院,摇漾春如线。&rdo;看见外面响晴的天,空中漂浮着小虫辛勤吐出的游丝,夹杂在飞花乱絮,飘来这小院中,她突然觉得没那么寂寞。那游丝般,握不住的春天,虽然姗姗来迟,毕竟是悠悠地来到眼前了。丽娘愈发用心地打扮起来。吩咐春香&ldo;停半晌,整花钿。&rdo;,&ldo;没揣菱花,偷人半面,迤逗得彩云偏。&rdo;看见镜中的自己,陌生的自己娇艳可人。她忽然间害羞起来,好像被镜子窥出了端倪。为了掩饰自己情丝荡漾,她假意嗔怪这该死的镜子,害得我把头发都弄歪了呢!梳妆完毕,她又开始踌躇:&ldo;我步香闺怎便把全身现!&rdo;‐‐到底去不去?这是个问题。顾影自怜时,她的心情是复杂的,既有自得,更有失落,爹娘老把我关在屋里,什么时候才有人能发现我的美呢?可是当她真正要踏出门时,她又开始犹豫不决。面对春香撺掇型的赞美,杜丽娘道出了深藏的傲然:&ldo;你道翠生生出落得裙衬儿茜,艳晶晶花簪八宝填,可知我常一生儿爱好是天然,恰三春好处无人见。不提防沉鱼落雁鸟惊喧,则怕的羞花闭月花愁颤。&rdo;

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