第19页(第2页)
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“比这更严重!”我惨淡地苦笑,“快点,咱们得马上走。”
她却没有动,只是抱住洋娃娃,用圆溜溜的眼睛看着我:“为什么?我想睡觉。”
“没时间了,宝贝,到车上睡好吗?”
“难道失火吗?到底怎么了,爸爸?”莎拉固执地缩到了床边,不满地叫道,“我哪儿也不想去,我明天还要上学呢!”
“闭嘴!立刻跟我走!”我粗暴地吼到,用小棉被把她裹着抱起来。
莎拉好象被吓呆了,接着发出一声尖叫,开始大哭!我心头的火气和烦躁更是燃烧到了顶点,根本不想解释就跨出了房门。莎拉在我怀里挣扎着,索菲勉强套上外套,急急忙忙地把我拦住。
“别这样,马修!马修!”她惊恐地拽着我的手臂,“瞧你在干什么?你吓着她了!快放开她!”
莎拉的哭声尖锐地刺穿了我的耳膜,有一瞬间我真的想捂住她的嘴,或者打她两下,但是索菲制止了我。她看我的眼神简直就像在看一个暴徒——那里面的慌张、惊愕和畏惧终于击中我的理智,我松开手,小公主立刻被她妈妈抱进怀里。
我呆若木鸡地站在原地,感觉到脖子上有点火辣辣的,似乎是莎拉推我的时候用指甲刮了一下。现在她缩在母亲怀里,肩膀抽动,而索菲则做出一个明显的戒备动作。我身上的力气瞬间被抽走了,一种强烈的自厌让我想吐。
我一拳打在门框上,莎拉用木条拼成的鱼形标牌碎成几块掉下来。窗户外的闪电照得我们三个人脸色发白。我突然觉得很无力,就好像溺水努力抓住一根救命的绳索,可是却发现这绳子也不过在随着波浪漂流。
索菲在莎拉耳边说了句什么,于是她跳到地上,一溜烟跑进了我们的卧室,关上门。
我撑着窗台,疲惫从脚底蔓延到全身。之前透支了太多的勇气和体力,现在那些带着妻子和女儿逃走的念头以及如同沾在我车上的泥,已经被大雨冲走了。我像一块又脏又破又湿漉漉的气球,被戳破了以后瘫在地上。
我扒下满是泥浆的雨衣,靠着窗台坐下来。索菲小心翼翼地走到我身边,她伸手抚摸着我的头,温热的掌心让我发觉自己皮肤凉得像个死人。她没有问我到底去了哪里,没有问我为什么把自己搞得这么狼狈,她的脸上只有伤心……带着失望的伤心。
我拉住她的手,吻她的掌心,她终于愿意靠近我,抱住我的头。
“马修,可怜的马修,你怎么了?”索菲在我耳边说,“我担心你……你知道吗?”
“对不起。”
“你从来没对莎拉和我发过脾气。”
“对不起。”
“你突然要求我们离开自己的家……有什么比熟悉的人一下子变得陌生更可怕?”
“是的,我明白,我完全明白……对不起,索菲……”
“该怎么样才能帮你,我的马修。”
我搂着她,尽力躲避着刺目的闪电和雷声,就好像这是唯一一个安全的地方。“相信我。”我对她说,“无论如何,给我一个证明的机会,一定要相信我。”
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