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&ldo;我也不知道&rdo;桐雨秋惨然着说：&ldo;我只记得十五岁的柳星辰，在我的心里，柳星辰会撒娇的喊疼，会发脾气的捶我的胸口，而不是顺从着只会低着点头，也不是明明疼得要死还婉转承欢地呻吟！&rdo;&ldo;少爷，你只爱你记忆中的柳星辰，所以你故意让自己记不得他，逃避着你不想面对的事实，甚至找一个替身去实现你心里的那个阿辰&rdo;&ldo;难道我真的不爱他么？&rdo;桐雨秋红着眼看向离瑶&ldo;若不爱我为什么会那么痛？在有人告诉我尘绝就是柳星辰的那一刻为什么我恨不得死去？&rdo;&ldo;离瑶，我自己都糊涂了，尘绝究竟为什么能牵动我的喜怒哀乐？又为了什么尘绝笑的时候我就开心，哭的时候我就无措，送他去了毕老爷那时我后悔了整整三年，接他回来抱着他，我才觉得踏实！看着他被王家少爷污辱，我几乎不敢正眼看他，我受不了他身上留下的那些血，我拼命地躲，只要一闭眼我就能不断重复看到那样的画面！我告诉自己，没关系，那个人是尘绝，不是我的阿辰，所以不要紧，我不会因为这个疯掉！我一遍遍安慰自己，一遍遍试图去画记忆中的柳星辰，可我什么都画不出，因为我已经忘了他的脸，我忘了柳星辰本该有的那张脸！&rdo;桐雨秋抓着自己的头发泣声道：&ldo;我不希望他就是柳星辰啊！你让我怎么接受他是秦月楼的头牌？你让我怎么接受他曾被那么多男人上过？你让我怎么接受我自己推了他给别人？你让我怎么接受他在我眼皮底下被人强暴？我会恨不得撕裂了他吞骨入腹，我会心痛到癫狂怨自己不能早点找到他！可是，若他是尘绝，那这些我都能接受！我可以说服自己疼他宠他，我可以说服自己让他留在身边，我什么都可以不管不顾，他只是我的妾，然后安安心心留他一辈子，只要知道他还在我身边就够了！&rdo;&ldo;少爷少爷你们何苦这么互相折磨呢？&rdo;离瑶哭着扑上前抱住就要陷入疯狂的桐雨秋。&ldo;离瑶，你告诉我，我爱他么？我真的是爱他么？我自己都不知道了，我根本就搞不清了。&rdo;桐雨秋拉过离瑶的肩膀不停摇晃&ldo;你告诉我，我是不是不爱他？是不是t根本就不爱他？&rdo;&ldo;少爷，你爱你记忆里的柳星辰，你也逃不开尘绝！爱不爱你自己最明白！哪怕他就不是柳星辰，你也放不下他，不是么？&rdo;&ldo;是这样么？我爱柳星辰，我也爱尘绝？是这样么？&rdo;桐雨秋豁然明朗，闪着光芒的眼眸瞬间点亮，&ldo;离瑶，带我去见他，我要带他回去！&rdo;离瑶怔怔看着桐雨秋点了点头，说：&ldo;好，我带你去见他。&rdo;出了玉萧苑，穿街入巷，两人走了半会儿，来到了桐府在杭州的老宅。老宅荒废已有些年月，但因为祖坟尚在这后院靠山的脚下，所以一直没有变卖，而是作为祖业留着。离瑶熟门熟路的带着桐雨秋来到了后院山脚下，指着最边上那堆小小的墓冢道：&ldo;他就在那。&rdo;桐雨秋走上前，蹲下身看着墓碑，伸手抚摩着碑上一行文字，仿佛那一刀刀是刻在了他心头。桐雨秋妻柳星辰之墓音尘绝正文节字数：1988更新时间：08-03-2821:11&ldo;这算什么？&rdo;桐雨秋嗖然站起身，指着那墓碑问&ldo;离瑶，阿尘呢？&rdo;&ldo;少爷不是都看到了？阿尘已经去了&rdo;离瑶掏出块帕子走上前，蹲在桐雨秋身边擦着那墓碑。&ldo;不可能，离开的时候都是好好的，离瑶你骗我！&rdo;&ldo;少爷，离瑶不敢骗你，阿尘他确实去了&rdo;离瑶低着头看着墓碑前的一抹黄土，说：&ldo;还记得当年大夫说阿尘身子虚，若不好好调养是活不过四十的。可这些年到了杭州，他的生活更是变本加厉的劳心，又成天替苑里的孩子操心，身子是越来越坏！我也劝过，可他不听，结果半年前得了场病，拖拖拉拉了三个月，还是缓不过来，就这么去了&rdo;桐雨秋默不做声的立于原地，离瑶正想站起身劝他，却看见自己面前的黄土上开出了一朵朵小花。那是桐雨秋的泪，没有嘶声力竭的哭喊，没有捶胸钝足的疯癫，他只是没有声响的掉下一滴滴的泪珠，停不下也止不住。&ldo;少爷&rdo;离瑶慌了，站起身拉着桐雨秋的袖子道：&ldo;少爷你别这样，阿尘地下知道了也会难过的&rdo;
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