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宋文渊往旁边的小楼望了一眼,转眼看向王三笑,脸上不免有了惊讶。&ldo;你这什么表情啊,&rdo;康天真看看他,又看看王三笑,开玩笑,&ldo;喂,你该不会看上我们家笑笑了吧?嘿嘿这样也不错,我们笑笑虽然长得磕碜点儿,但他除了节操什么都有,真正的钻石王老三!&rdo;王三笑一脸雍容端庄地看向他,字正腔圆,&ldo;放你娘的屁!&rdo;交警迅速赶了过来,在车队前后指挥疏通,王三笑趴在司机耳边低声说了几句,司机点头。小路上腾出了点儿空,交警在车窗外打了个手势,司机看上去像个新手,一脸紧张地点头,缓缓发动车子,慢慢加速,突然啊地一声惨叫,只觉车子猛地一颠,如同抽筋一般抖了一下,疯狗似地撞破旁边的围墙。冲天尘埃漫天飞起,康天真一个没坐稳,整个人都扑进了宋文渊的怀里,&ldo;卧槽!&rdo;宋文渊慌乱间一手搂住他的细腰,另一只手无意识地放在一团肥厚的软肉上。&ldo;日你爷爷个球的!宋文渊你摸我屁股???&rdo;康天真杀猪似地嚎叫。&ldo;我不是故意的!&rdo;宋文渊也略显狼狈,&ldo;刚才震得厉害,我只是想抓个什么稳一下…&rdo;&ldo;那你就抓我屁股?&rdo;康天真一脸亢奋地得理不饶人,从宋文渊怀里爬出来,扭腰撅着屁股向他炫耀,&ldo;小爷的屁屁有多金贵你知道嘛?这还是处男地儿呢,连璧影都没摸过!&rdo;&ldo;闭嘴,矜持点儿,大家闺秀的沉稳自重呢?&rdo;王三笑斥责,虽然早有思想准备,但冷不丁这么一震,让风度翩翩的他还是有些斯文扫地,出门前喷了半瓶锗哩的头发都耷拉在脑门上了。康天真冲他恶吼,&ldo;滚你大爷的,这到底什么情况?&rdo;空心砖垒砌的毛坯围墙被撞得跟狗啃了一样,加长林肯有一半身子钻进了围墙里面,交警们连忙围过来,在外面拍车窗,&ldo;怎么样?有没有受伤?&rdo;王三笑使了个眼色,司机一抹脸,顿时痛哭流涕地从车里爬下来,&ldo;啊啊啊亲娘啊,我为什么刹闸踩油门,这得陪多少钱啊啊啊啊……咦,院子里怎么这么多土?咦,这是什么?青花瓷?&rdo;偶遇出恶气王三笑用一种迎面扇一巴掌的方式将盗墓事件捅给了警方,现场见证人太多,迫使官方不得不严肃处理。然后,深藏功与名。回到市区已经是华灯初上,王三笑揽着康天真的脖子,跟个树袋熊似地挂在他的身上,&ldo;侄儿啊,你已经来湖北好几天了,尽一个地主之谊呗。&rdo;&ldo;我早来两天就成地主了?&rdo;康天真才不认宰呢。&ldo;那当然,你这是提前开辟根据地,懂吗?&rdo;虽然这么说,但还是王三笑带着二人出去觅食,他在发现美食与美色上总是有着令人无法企及的敏锐。&ldo;黄焖石鸡、炮蒸鳝鱼、葵花豆腐、藕汤排骨、千张肉、万寿羹、红烧野鸭子,清蒸武昌鱼,&rdo;王三笑朗声报出一溜菜名,字正腔圆,底气十足。&ldo;请稍等!&rdo;服务员麻利地点好菜,帮他们开好一个包间。康天真坐下,对宋文渊诚恳地介绍,&ldo;他在学古董鉴定之前是德云社学徒,说学逗唱什么都会,那会儿名字都取好了,叫王德缺。&rdo;王三笑大骂,&ldo;你他妈才缺德!&rdo;宋文渊忍不住笑起来,帮二人烫了杯子,拎起茶壶倒上热茶,&ldo;你俩感情真好。&rdo;&ldo;那当然,&rdo;康天真一脸自豪地说,&ldo;当年他在德云社学开挖掘机的时候,可多亏了我没事儿送点剩饭过去,才能把他养得这么高高大大……哎哟我去!&rdo;王三笑斯文地一脚踹翻了他的椅子。康天真笑哈哈地从地上爬起来,趴在王三笑肩头乐得直晃,甜腻腻地哼唧,&ldo;别这么暴力嘛,咱们可是穿一条裤子长大的。&rdo;&ldo;不好意思,我发育比你好,所有裤子都是我穿合适,你穿就长了,&rdo;王三笑带着一脸狰狞的笑容,&ldo;你说是不是?&rdo;康天真委屈地抽鼻子,&ldo;你变坏了,笑笑,你再也不是那个深爱我又被我所深爱着的笑笑了……&rdo;&ldo;笑你大爷!&rdo;王三笑对这个昵称深恶痛疾,连梨面带雨的天真真都不再疼爱了。康天真兴奋大叫,&ldo;你敢笑我大爷?我大爷会neng死你的!&rdo;&ldo;……&rdo;王三笑第一次在与他的斗嘴中落了下风,看着眼前一脸傻缺相的发小,认真地开始考虑找个僻静处neng死他的可能性。

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