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「……抽烟、喝酒,他戒都戒不掉。」「才六十九,七十岁都没到……」秦央木然地坐着,亲朋好友祭奠完毕后,他就递给他们一杯水。满眼都是白麻布,各色帛料五彩斑斓地挂了一墙,影像忽而真实忽而模糊,双脚踏着地面,心却在半空中飘着。有人踱过来攀谈:「秦秦还在读书吧?」「嗯,高三了。」「哦,那不是马上就要高考了?好好用功啊。孙儿辈里,你读书最好,老爷子最看重你。」旁人也调过头来搭腔:「就是,老爷子从小就把你带在身边……你那个时候小,大概不记得了。」秦央轻声说:「我记得的。」话语被守在灵台前的孝子贤孙们的哭声埋没。秦央可以说是那种家庭幸福的人,爷爷奶奶外公外婆俱在,无论是秦爸爸那边还是秦妈妈这边,兄友弟恭,姐妹和睦,逢年过节聚在一起吃顿团圆饭,和乐而圆满。这是他第一次失去至亲,曾经以为会有多么伤心难过,真正站到这里时,却仿佛在梦中,浑浑噩噩的,神智却清明得异常。丧事办得很体面,跪下、磕头、烧纸,秦央跟着长辈做得一丝不苟,回到家里后,却翻来覆去地整夜整夜睡不着觉。睁开的眼中总是白茫茫一片。凄楚的哭声在耳边一遍又一遍回荡索绕。与此同时,日历纸却一张一张毫不留情地撕落。老俞在走廊里跟秦央说:「你的成绩很稳定,考试是绝对没有问题的。不要太拼,太紧张了也下好。现在绷得太紧,恐怕到真正考试的时候反而会……嗯……总之,要注意休息。」秦央说:「我知道的,谢谢老师。」脸色憔悴而苍白。回家的路上,沈晋自背后环着秦央的腰埋怨作业太多,做到天亮也做不完,老师太严厉,那个教物理的,一点玩笑也开不起,还有,女生太少,他那个楼面全是物理班:「整个楼面的女生加起来,十个手指头就数得过来。数量就少,更不要说质量。」沈晋揶揄秦央:「你是陷在了温柔乡里。」秦央似听非听,偶尔发出一两声不知所谓的应和声。沈晋见他心不在焉,也不再继续往下说,顿了顿,收紧环着他的手臂。「我怎么觉得你的腰有细了?」「没有。」沈晋扯开话题道:「我今天在办公室看到老俞了,手里拿着这么厚一摞卷子,他又用古文虐待你们?」「啊,没有。」「你这两天有没有睡过觉?」「没有。」脱口而出。泰央回过神,忙道:「睡了。」「那你这对熊猫眼是睡出来的?」沈晋不依不饶,见他咬着嘴唇缄默不语,低低地叹了口气,「我就睡在你旁边,你有没有睡,我会不知道?」秦家夫妻这几天搬过去陪伴秦央外婆了,秦央又恰好正是高考冲刺的关键时期,也不能有闪失,秦央妈妈干脆让沈晋住了过来,两个小孩也能互相有个照应。沈晋的口气隐隐泄漏出一些担忧:「秦央,你不是一直是最懂事的那个吗?初中的时候就笑得不阴不阳的,教训起我来比那个班主任李老师还有样子。」晚上,秦央还是睡不着。一闭上眼就又回到了殡仪馆,寿衣寿帽穿戴齐整的老者静静地躺在棺木里,周遭哀乐凄凉,悲声不止。眼睛不知不觉睁开了,怔怔地瞪着空无一物的天花板。夜半时分,万籁俱寂。「明天是最后一次模拟考,你打算去考场上睡吗?」身边并肩躺着的人忽然开口,一如既往的玩笑口吻,秦央听在耳裹莫名地觉得安心。沈晋说:「秦央,我一直很想问你,那时候,那些话,你打了几遍草稿?」那时候……傍晚,放学后,道路尽头那条狭窄曲折的小巷。清俊的少年横威立目,神色冷傲不可一世。「三遍。」记忆很清晰,秦央回答,「叫你跟我走的时候,我还在心裹默念了一遍。」放在裤于口袋里的手一直在不停地颤抖。沈晋的笑声在黑沉沉的房间里荡开:「你这个家伙……」这是一件打死也不肯说的糗事,没想到还是毫无防备地被他套了出来。话匣子被打开。这些天一直在脑海里盘旋不去的片段藉由杂乱的话语一一涌了出来:「我哭不出来。」葬礼上,所有人都在哭泣,只有他始终静静地看着。清明时节,细雨纷纷,黑伞下是一张没有表情的脸!

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