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我想一想:&ldo;大概业余三四段吧。&rdo;老师拍拍我的肩膀笑起来:&ldo;很不错。精神可嘉。苏措,你可让着他点。&rdo;诧异看向苏措,她但笑不语,将钥匙攥于手心,拐入了走廊深处。我半晌后才如梦初醒,跟着她的背影追过去。诺大一间棋室幽暗不明,窗帘闭合得严严实实,一张张浅色的棋盘幽幽反着深蓝色的光芒,那是属于安静的颜色;苏措弯下腰,以熟悉的姿态从木架底层捧出一盒棋子,然后小心翼翼伸手出去,仔细地拂掉棋盒上那看不见的灰尘。我对这一幕都印象颇深。对棋子的爱惜,那是一个爱棋者的才具有的认真态度。那个时候我,绝对想不到在今后的数年里,她跟围棋完全断绝了关系。我从来都没有要求过她在我离开后不再下棋。对待感情,她永远都是那个笨拙的女孩。选择如此自虐的方式折磨自己,我能理解,这,大概是她对我感情的唯一回应方式。我深深感激。但是,我更心疼。[五]窗帘早已拉开,阳光直直照射进这个房间。因为太过明亮宽敞的房间变得寂静起来,连棋子敲击期盼的声音都柔软的消失在光芒中。只容纳了我们两个人的空间。恍惚觉得这里是无时间、无声响、无距离的圣地。平生第一次知道,寂静不仅仅属于黑夜。过于寂静和温暖让人沉溺其中,浑然忘记时间流逝。意识到无论如何都不可能赢过苏措,已经是半小时后的事情。不过没有关系,我跟她下棋,为的并不是输赢。她下棋时候用食指和中指捏着棋子,她皮肤白皙,白色棋子和她肌肤的颜色相差无几,苏措下棋的认真,只从她看着棋盘棋子的热切目光和浑身散发出来的专注就能感觉到。我熟悉那种光芒,我弹钢琴的模样,应该也是那样。大约是我棋艺太糟,她应对极快,甚至都不思考棋子为什么在这里不再哪里,我刚刚一落子,她的棋子也立刻贴在了棋盘上。总让她久等不太礼貌,我不及细想,就把棋子贴上去。&ldo;错了。&rdo;&ldo;嗯?&rdo;&ldo;下错了,&rdo;苏措手指点在我刚刚落下的黑子旁边,&ldo;把你自己的退路都堵死了,这子一下,满盘皆输。&rdo;我才发现还有这一层深意,定睛一看,真的,辛苦做成的眼被自己堵死了。只好无奈的摊手一笑:&ldo;再来一盘吧。&rdo;苏措却摆手:&ldo;没事,这一步你重新下过。&rdo;&ldo;落子无悔,&rdo;我不以为然,&ldo;不改了。输了就是输了。&rdo;&ldo;不是输赢的事情,&rdo;苏措抬起清澈的眼睛,&ldo;我对现在黑白的格局有兴趣,我想看看你正常发挥,我们两对下到最后是会变成什么局势。再下一局的话,就不是这个局势了。&rdo;她态度坚决,我争不过,只得依从。现在想来,认识她大半年,我从来都没有赢过她。我们总是这样,她进我退,我进她更进一步,说到底最后还是我退。在从来没想到我为了一个女孩改变成这样。有句老话说恋爱让女人变得漂亮,让男人变得愚蠢,的确适合我的表现。既然输赢已定,对战起来我也放松很多,只要是跟她下棋,输了也无所谓。阳光从她指尖和发际滑过,我心驰神荡,克制住复杂的思绪,问她:&ldo;你跟老师很熟,她以前教过你吗?&rdo;&ldo;教过的,&rdo;苏措答了句,&ldo;江为止,小心说话分神,再输了呢。&rdo;&ldo;跟你下没可能赢,不过是早输晚输的问题,&rdo;我摁了颗棋子下去,&ldo;虽然我棋艺不好,但别人的水准如何总能看出来。&rdo;苏措默了片刻:&ldo;让你陪我下棋,浪费了你的时间?&rdo;&ldo;没有的事,&rdo;我强调,&ldo;跟你坐在这里下棋,我真的很开心很开心。&rdo;&ldo;是吗。&rdo;我认真地接话,&ldo;因为我,想多了解你。&rdo;她吃惊:&ldo;了解我?&rdo;反问之后,她手指尖不动了,表情也有了微妙的变化。我觉得她很困惑,但其实我自己比她更困惑。以前没有跟女孩子打交道的经历,犯错了完全不知道怎么补救。只觉得血都挤到了脸上。于是红着脸再强调一次:&ldo;苏措,这是,这是真心话,我没有别的意思。&rdo;
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