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譬如这世间，若一直在苦难中，并不以为那是苦难；而若是习惯了炊金馔玉，再去无法吞糠咽菜，就苦不堪言了。原来人最畏惧的，不是苦难，而是幸福与苦难间的落差。皇子、王爷，与供人狎玩的娈童之间，落差到底有多大？云碧落不知道。她只知道，如果连她都觉得做苻坚的女人是痛苦的话，那么，慕容冲的遭遇，只能用四个字来形容。生不如死。对于碧落，爱情已是一种奢侈；对于慕容冲，爱情是什么？一种绝望的妄想么？怎能，又怎忍去怪他，放弃了这种基于无数的家仇国恨间的绝望妄想？踏离卧房时，碧落听到慕容冲在里间慢慢地说：&ldo;碧落，相信我，我会去找你。&rdo;碧落回过头，透过未阖上的门向内张望时，慕容冲还坐在原来的地方，脸色苍白平静，垂着眸，盯着几上空空的碗，仿佛从未动弹过一下，更未曾说过一句话。碧落轻轻地笑了一笑，一头冲入了雨中。很冷的雨，打在滚烫的面颊上，沁凉沁凉，居然带起一种奇异的快感，让她望着苍瞑的夜空，忍不住，又笑了一笑。侧门的值房，笑声沸反盈天。杨定正和几个守卫掷着骰子，见碧落来寻，居然嘀咕了一声，似暗怪她出来得早了，让他无法玩得尽兴。而碧落已经懒得再和他争辩什么了。她甚至懒得再说一句话，并且在一路之上，真的再也不曾说一句话，连杨定几次拨马上前和她说话，她都没回答，甚至，根本没听见他在说什么。眼前只有无边无际的黑暗，无边无际的空茫，和似乎永远下不停的雨。回到船边时，河水涨得更高了，以碧落的体力和轻功，再也无法不惊动人跃上去了。杨定自己飞跃上船，拿自己缚裤的布条结起，丢给碧落，让她蹚着河水，至稍近时飞快将她拉了上来，依然从窗户将她送进她的小小房间。碧落早已乏到极点，拖了皮靴正要胡乱睡下时，杨定将她湿透的蓑衣和皮靴都拿了出去，又轻笑道：&ldo;把你的湿衣裳换下藏起来再睡，小心给发现了，连累着你的冲哥哥哦！&rdo;碧落闻言，只得起身换衣，杨定方才笑一声，无声退出房去。明知一切已成定局，碧落再无别念，倒也横向一条心来，收拾衣裳，倒头便睡，居然睡得甚是香甜。到晨间有侍女叫起c黄时，碧落只推头晕，也不起身。但听得甲板上隐隐有杨定在高笑：&ldo;呵，那么个夜叉般的丫头，难道也晕船么？倒也有趣儿。&rdo;于是，又听到了苻晖和身畔一众从人的大笑，再无人催她起c黄了。碧落虽知这杨定多半在找借口让自己好好休息调整，但听他说自己是夜叉，心中还是有气。难道前日她在杨定和苻晖跟前表现得很凶悍么？但此刻，能被人当作晕船显然也是好事，她将计就计自此只在房中静卧，也免得去和苻晖等人打交道了。长亭怨天为垂泪鹃声苦（六）她记得苻晖看她的异常眼神，简直和那个林景德一模一样；而慕容冲想她亲近的人不是苻晖，而是他父亲苻坚，是当今的大秦天王！只有在他跟前伺机行动，才能影响到秦国的大局，直至江山动荡，天下大乱……眼见得天气渐渐放晴，苻晖带了从人，有时站在般头欣赏两岸风光，有时观察地形水势，甚至有几次弃舟上岸，察访水利兴修灌溉情况，极是尽心。碧落原以为这苻晖身为王子，地位尊贵，多半是个仗了父亲宠爱为所欲为的纨绔子弟，但见他每到一处，必召来当地官员上船询问民情，或褒扬，或申斥，处事极是老练圆熟，才知此人并不简单，不由也开始为慕容冲犯愁。苻氏处事公正，赏罚分明，政治清明，深受关中百姓拥护，想在这样的情况下扳倒他们，只怕难如登天，苻坚敢对亡国诸慕容委以重任，并不单单为示仁于天下，更该有着绝对的自信吧？即便北方大乱，人心所向之下，慕容氏又有多大的机会可以取胜，或者，达到他们复国的愿望？一路走走停停，沿了汾水，经临汾、汾阴，至河水，再越过雍州、蒲坂，到了华阴，方才弃了船，改乘车马前往秦都长安。这时，碧落自然无法再装病了，也懒得窝在车中，遂也要了匹马骑乘着。苻晖似对她颇是不满，几度将马与她并排行着，向她半讽半嘲：&ldo;前儿病得那样，怎么还逞强骑马？如果再病了，车上可没法让你养着！&rdo;
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