第19页（第1页）
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相恨不如潮有信，相思始覺海非深。青青自嘲，莫不是当真害了相思。她笑了笑，只当自己愁绪难解，遇景伤怀。有些事情，她不愿思考，害怕思考。酉时方过，就见萍儿进来通报，说是承贤宫里的小宫娥来，请她去坐坐。这样的时辰相邀，青青觉着有些奇怪，但又念着自己即将出宫，而承贤又是那般古怪性子，便点头应了。青青唤了萍儿一道，随那小宫娥往西面去。天色已全然暗下来，青青走在九曲回廊之中，迎面拂来冷冷夜风，树影婆娑，枝叶幽明，青青蓦地害怕起来，这是一条不归路，踏出去时，已没了回头的权力。终点并非废太子宫，而是宫廷最西面的老旧佛堂。小宫娥将萍儿拉到一旁，青青推开那赤色的红漆大门，&ldo;吱呀&rdo;一声，仿佛离世前最后一丝不屈的叫嚷，那声音渐渐渗透进内里，飘摇，拉扯，勾上面前人翻飞的衣袂。青青瞧着他神采英拔的侧影，心头陡然一紧，转身便要夺门而去，恰时小德子迅速拉合大门，一阵窸窸窣窣的落锁声，青青失了重心，颓然靠在门上，看着衡逸唇边媚态翩然的笑，心中是沁凉的绝望。青青又恢复一派冷然，恼怒道：&ldo;这样晚了，你骗我来这，究竟想要做什么？&rdo;衡逸冷笑，从暗影中走出，幽深的眼眸，映着重重烛火，燃出的竟都是浓浓恨意，他咬牙切齿，似乎要将她剥骨抽筋，吞咽入腹，待到她的骨血都在他体内化作难分难解的一团，待到她的魂灵都与他搅在一处，方才罢休。&ldo;怎么？姐姐愿与三哥秉烛夜谈，却不肯见弟弟一面么？&rdo;这声音，冷得彻骨，幽幽从地底钻进她身体，带着泥土的芬芳与尸体的腥臭，像一缕魑魅，化作了灰烟，绕着佛堂高耸的房梁，凄凉叫嚷。他看着她，像失去宠爱的孩子，祈求她最后一丝悲悯。青青害怕，瑟瑟发抖，她怕这样的衡逸，他已入绝境，背后是无底深渊，她拉不回他，他从来都是这样执拗的人，他会笑着，笑着坠落。衡逸张开双臂，狭长凤眼，似秋水凌波，羽扇似的睫毛，缀满莹莹泪珠，他孩童般的模样触到了青青最柔软的记忆，他哽咽着说：&ldo;姐姐，姐姐你不要我了么……&rdo;青青怔忪，她已陷入他设下的魔障，痴痴看着他流泪的眼，乌亮的瞳仁映着她快步上前的身影。他瞧见她上前，满足地笑。青青抱住他，任他藏在自己怀里。衡逸笑着，眼底一片森冷，他靠着她，&ldo;姐姐，别离开我。&rdo;青青拍了拍他的背，说：&ldo;怎么会，姐姐不会丢下你的。&rdo;衡逸低声说道：&ldo;姐姐，衡逸好寂寞。&rdo;青青道：&ldo;衡逸，你总有长大的一天。&rdo;衡逸突然发火，抓住她双肩，狠狠逼视，&ldo;所以，所以你便要嫁人去？&rdo;青青无奈：&ldo;这是我能决定的吗？衡逸说：&ldo;你教我怎么受得了，你教我怎么能眼睁睁看着你嫁给旁人？&rdo;青青迎上他的眼，定定道：&ldo;这就是命，由不得你不认。&rdo;陡然上窜的烛火，映出衡逸几近扭曲的面庞，他狂乱地笑，青青已认不得眼前人，他拉扯着，将她抵在梁柱上，青青动弹不得，只得看着他一点点靠近，衡逸身后是一尊无量寿佛布施像，佛祖慈悲，普度众生，却偏偏不渡我。&ldo;姐姐，别怪我。我只是……我只是怕有那么一天，你会忘了我。&rdo;衡逸粗重急促的呼吸与她的混杂在一处，乱了，青青连心都乱了。迷失【灼灼其华，忍痛，休相语】青青听见门外萍儿的惊呼，一声&ldo;公主&rdo;之后戛然而止，只余下挣扎时衣料磨擦的声响。青青几近绝望，怒极，一脚踹在衡逸膝上，他疼得皱眉，却半分不让，死死将她摁在梁柱上。他们像旷野中两只觅食的兽，在沉默的对峙中互相审视，在寂寥的暗夜里伺机而动，谁都不愿退让，谁都不愿屈从。青青抬起下颌，冷冷看着他的眼，仿佛一直看到他真实的丑陋的内里。她恨恨道：&ldo;衡逸，别做令自己后悔的蠢事！&rdo;衡逸却似缠绵，在她耳边，轻轻哼：&ldo;人说女人的第一次，痛的彻骨，痛的一生一世都不能忘记。青青，好姐姐，让衡逸做你的第一个男人好么？即使来日，你恨我入骨，也让衡逸扎根在姐姐的记忆里，永远，永远永远……好不好呢？&rdo;
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