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他想起那次去学校接冬天时,老师和那几位家长反复小心着措辞的讲述着他打架斗殴事件的始末。冬天就读的是贵族学校,各家的孩子非富即贵,吃午餐的时候,挑食的孩子把肥ròu挑出来扔在桌上,冬天看到觉得浪费,把孩子丢的肥ròu都吃了,富人家的孩子从来没见过这样的人种,一时沸腾了,各式各样的嘲讽让还是孩子的冬天情绪激动,最后才打了起来。陆应钦当时对这件事的体会并不深刻,而现在想来,到底是怎样的生活,才能把六岁的孩子炼成这样?他后来也让关义去查过程端五,对她这几年的生活也有了一些了解,但是当时被这突如其来的孩子气到了,想着这女人怎么能这样?偷偷摸摸把他的孩子生下来,却又想嫁给别人。现在想想,她也是被生活逼得走投无路了吧?他对她那样的咄咄逼人,比一比,和过去她加诸在他身上的,也是有过之无不及。己所不欲,勿施于人。他已经开始自省。这么想着,不由的把已经熟睡的程端五抱紧了一些。她睡熟了,他才敢放肆的抱着她。一思及此,他不由苦苦的一笑。程端五很瘦,手脚却很长,是属于好看的骨架,如果再胖一些也许会更好看。这几年他也算形形□的女人都看遍了,却总是觉得她似乎漂亮的无可取代。陆应钦胸怀里感受到程端五温热的体温,心头蓦然觉得温暖。他愀然想要凑得更近一些,不想睡着的程端五大概是觉得不舒服,轻轻的挣了一下,陆应钦以为她醒了,赶紧放开,闭上眼睛装作睡着。不想程端五只是挣了一挣,便没有再动。陆应钦紧张得狂跳的心脏才渐渐恢复平静,过了一会儿,他再次展臂拥上去,这次,程端五没有挣脱他。他疲惫的叹息:&ldo;你说,我到底该拿你怎么办?&rdo;……一夜,程端五一直没有睡着。半夜里,陆应钦许是以为她睡熟了,手脚放肆的拥上来,他清朗的气息充斥着她所有的感官,她几乎紧张的一动不动。他温热的呼吸就在耳后,她感觉他的呼吸越来越近,全身都开始不自在,鸡皮疙瘩起了一身,就在他要凑近她的那一刻,她本能的挣扎了一下。陆应钦倏然的弹开,他的远离让她觉得身体骤然虚空,心里空落落的,也不知是为什么。她没有再动,也没有醒来揭穿他。过了一会儿,陆应钦又贴了过来。他说:&ldo;你说,我到底该拿你怎么办?&rdo;一句轻微的感叹,却仿佛叹到了她的心底。她自觉坚硬如铁的心脏,突然软了下来,可是下一刻,一种可悲可悯的情绪,也不由自主的袭来……这样复杂的情绪一直持续了很久,每一次陆应钦流露出关怀与妥协,程端五都觉得自己是被高高的抛入云端,这种感觉如履薄冰,她害怕骤然摔下来的粉身碎骨。生日的那天,陆应钦为她准备了很不陆应钦的&ldo;惊喜&rdo;。程端五的母亲欧敛月设计的婚纱,她和程天达结婚的婚纱,是那样美,美的程端五都有些不敢靠近,那一刻的程端五觉得时光转换,一切都回到最初的那一刻,静好、安息。好像一伸手就触到了天堂,幸福变得那样唾手可得,让她贪婪的忘记了从前的一切苦难,意乱沉迷泥足深陷。爱情是这样的,因为你交付的越多,反噬才会越疼。从来没有谁有资本伤害谁,被伤害的人说到底不过是因为在意,才会疼得撕心裂肺。而陆应钦是这样的,他宠一个人的时候,会把她高高的捧到天上,让她忘乎所以,而他不再宠一个人的时候,会眼睁睁的看着她从天上坠下。程端五一直知道他是这样的,可她却无法阻止自己泥足深陷。她明明不会再爱上别人,却轻易的被陆应钦唤起了从前的感情。因为稚嫩,因为无畏,所以也比一般的感情更加坚韧。如梦境一般的发展,是在陆应钦将钻戒压在她的漱口杯下的那一刻,达到了一个顶点。她把犹带着水滴的钻戒戴在了自己的无名指上,也是无声的接受了陆应钦的刻意讨好。冰凉的水滴沁凉的滑入手心,仿佛惊醒了心房的一腔绮梦。程端五突然有了一些大梦初醒的觉悟。有句话叫月盈则亏,有时候,太过幸福了并不是好事。比如程端五,正因为太过幸福,她才会变得患得患失。她害怕,害怕自己有一天又会变回从前的样子。
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