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或许自己暗暗希望燕青阳容貌能变回当年模样,可是这世上又岂能尽如人意?燕青阳的心性过于软弱,若还是当初英俊挺拔,却是有些违和了。可是敢去挑战神教从未有人练成的武功,又岂会是一个软弱的人。乔玄冰想到回春诀,便找了借口打发了单渺之,独自进了禁地的书架上寻书。禁地里除了回春诀正本外,还有回春诀副册,副册是后来人编写,上面写了回春诀的来历和修行的见解,若是先看副册,未免会先入为主,反而对修行不利。所以普通人修行的话,都是先看过正本,揣摩过后,再找副册来练。想来燕青阳怕他知道,没有提出再进禁地看副册,但第一次进禁地时,想来他是看过副册的了。燕青阳归还回春诀时,他看过一遍,自知不好练,但也不觉得如何,如今看了副册,只觉眼前一黑,将仅有的希望都湮灭了。原来这功法全名焚心回春诀,是上古修真时的一位异人所创。先焚心而后回春,乃是生生不息之意。这异人天生心脉缺失,不能妄动感情,所以练这门功法进境奇快。但因心中无情,对于大道的体悟终究隔着一层,到了寿元将近时,那仙人就碎丹转世历劫去了。其实上古仙人云云,乔玄冰向来不信,只怕是哪位前辈高人创出一套功法,却是发现无法练成,所以推脱到仙人身上。但这功法的致命之处是确凿无疑的,不但练了之后要断情,还如跗骨之蛆一般无法停止,一旦停止,立时真气反攻自身。所以传说中的那异人无法废弃这门心法,只能练了数百年。可笑他把一切事情都想得太轻易,以为世间一切都掌握于他手,以为要青阳停下练功便能停下,要两人恢复最初,青阳便还如当初那般爱他。覆水难收,功法如此,感情又何尝不是如此。他口口声声说会对他好,许给他妻子的地位,却是连他的病症也不知,练的内功也不知。若说不知者无罪,他不知这功法缘由也就罢了,可是明知带着烈烈去见他,会毁了他的功法,却是从来没有思量过。如今想来,无异于亲手凌迟他。乔玄冰只觉站立不稳,手中的书册直直掉到了地上。他忽然想起了在慈恩寺时,要他凑合和自己在一起,话里话外却暗示与单渺之没了可能,所以将就于他,他既然练了这种无情的功法,一旦止不住嫉妒伤心,真气就会反噬。他总是下意识地鄙薄他,只因他爱恋自己入骨,便以为是他贪图自己长得俊美,又手握大权。可是燕青阳带着幼子孤身在外,又几时借过他的威风?反倒是自己仗势欺人,硬生生地将孩子要了回来。如今他流落江湖,又是一身伤病,若是死了,恐怕连尸骨都寻不到了。想到自己或许再也不能见他一面,独留他落魄天涯,乔玄冰忽觉气血上涌,眼前一黑,直直晕了过去。太行山东麓山高万仞,几无人烟。深山之中猛兽常至,除了猎人偶尔会进这段山林外,几乎无人经过。燕青阳在此处已住了两年。两年前他趁着乔玄冰不备,离开慈恩寺后,曾经在城中居住过一段时间。苦练多时的回春诀功亏一篑后,再也练不回来,而且每有人声的喧哗,就能激得他肺腑震荡,难受无比。如今住在山中,比隐居还要偏僻,除了几个月到山下买一次柴米油盐,平时打猎为生。开始时他还养些鸭子,让鸭子在附近的溪水林间觅食,他时常能吃些鸭蛋,但后来觉得鸭子吵闹,便换了养鸡。结果鸡叫起来也甚是烦心,于是把鸡都赶了出去。那些家鸡回到山林,恢复了野性,翅膀养得也硬了,扑棱棱地在林间飞得比野鸡还高。因为回春诀毫无进境,于是他便把嫁衣神功重新捡回来练。嫁衣神功是治疗内伤的武功,将他受损的筋脉慢慢修补好了一些,但仍然不能停止练回春诀,每日入睡时,功法便在身体里自行运转,只积攒了少许的内力,但已足够让他受伤。每次想到那对父子时,便觉得身体撕裂一般。疼到极处时,他甚至想,自己苟延残喘地活下去是为了什么。渐渐地,什么也不去想,每日看一看从慈恩寺带到这里的经书,便觉得心中平静。在寺庙中出家固然能缓解这种痛楚,但寺庙终归有人,有人的地方便容易传递消息,被乔玄冰找到,反而给寺里的大师们带来不便。如今在这深山中,除了生存不易,时常有毒蛇野狼之外,却是胜过寺庙了。
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