14一直找到(第1页)
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又是这一句话,棠红有些腻了。她抓着傅今松的手,指尖纵横划着他掌心的纹路,问道:“还有呢?”“我希望你能够去做自己想做的事。”像被窥破了,棠红回想半月以来的种种,零售工作会占据许多时间,逐渐麻木、无意义,潦草的两餐、简短的休息、不停的整理、抵触的陌生人,都令棠红无所适从。她将傅今松的手按上自己的心口上,望着灯光昏暗的天花板,一时,眼前闪过一片密密麻麻。傅今松感受到传来掌心的心怦,手掌也从冰冷变得温热,他起身将棠红从沙发上拉起来:“饿了吗?来吃饭。”“我想漫长地写作、想去日本、想不羡慕你的生活。”棠红跟在傅今松身后几步,又停下来开口。“好,做你想做的,我带你去看雪、看烟花,今年冬天就去。但你不必羡慕我,我们都从一开始不能够选择。”傅今松转过身,回答得郑重,他更钦佩她的坚毅。她常常想到死亡,但或许并不是她的本意,只是从小到大,她一直都在历经创伤,哪怕长大了,那些伤痛也并不会远去,她不否认她还想当一个孩子,说出“渴望被爱,天性使然”不是假的,偏偏人与人之间的情感是最狭隘的,可他不妨给予成浩荡。“我是个俗人,我喜欢你其中还因为你有钱。”傅今松很少端着一副冷冰冰的模样了,听见棠红这一句话不由笑起来:“我宁愿你再俗一些,多喜欢我一些。”“这样的话只对我说过吗?”棠红来到餐桌前,坐到傅今松身旁,拿起筷子看向他。“当然。”傅今松也看向棠红的眼睛回答她,接着将已经放凉的菜热了一遍,又为棠红舀满了一碗饭,盛了一碗菠菜鱼丸汤,并单独配给棠红的梅花夜莺盘子上,放满了他夹来的黄油烤鳟鱼、芦笋牛肉、虾仁青蔬烘蛋。棠红原来平常煮清汤面当成一日三餐,现在把便利店临期处理的饭团当作饱腹,已经很久没有吃过成样的一顿饭了,无论傅今松夹了多少,全都不剩下地吃光了。
傅今松很开心,见棠红喜欢,并没有吃多少,都留给她吃,撑首在一旁看着,想让时间就这样停住,企盼她永远这样幸福。第二天,棠红辞去了便利店的工作。官凝本就是工作结识的人,萍水相逢,能有多深的交集,她没有回复那一条消息,当官凝看见棠红上了那一辆车,她也明白了。棠红又回到了这座她读大学、实习、遇见傅今松的城市。傅今松告诉她,想买一幢房子,装饰成她喜欢的样子,归属她自己喜欢的东西。于是,傅今松问她喜欢小区还是别墅,辗转地带棠红看房。棠红意想不到,她开始怀疑自己,她有值得他这么喜欢她吗,这里的房价,她想,即便是把她卖了也买不起,又或是从哪一个朝代开始打工,能买得起。如此贵重的情,棠红不敢受,她谢绝了傅今松的好意,告诉他正在住的那间房子挺好的。傅今松最终将她带去了一间空置了许多年的别墅,他告诉棠红,这是他从前住过的房子,有时回国会住在这里。他担心棠红不喜欢,然而棠红一眼钟情,来到荒芜的小院子前,开心地说道这里那里都可以种花,又问他能不能养小猫,傅今松回答“可以”后,她却转念一说,小猫会死掉,她受不了,还是不要养了。“你既然喜欢这里,我会叫人打理的,我们就可以住进去了,放你喜欢的家具和书。你想养什么花?”秋天晴朗的阳光洒落在傅今松身上,他说得仔细认真,棠红却停住了,静静地看着他不说话。傅今松以为自己说错了,连忙问棠红怎么了,棠红走近他身前笑起来:“我像是做梦,你会不会消失?我想一直找到你。”
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