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文颂往下看了一眼,把他裤子拉链勉强拉好,绷得他闷哼一声。“除了这里,还有哪儿疼?”
“哪都疼。”
这还得了。文颂换了件衣服,抱着他往外拖,“起来,去医院。”
秦覃不对劲,三天两头就得往医院跑,路都记熟了。事出有因,咨询了医生才知道,可能是由于换药的过渡期,“部分撤药后多巴胺功能反跳性增强,会不自主地表现出刻板运动。睡眠丧失,引起焦虑加重和激越行为。”
文颂皱眉问,“你多久没睡觉了?”
秦覃不敢说实话,只含糊地回答,“睡不着。”
家里不像酒店那么狭小。卧室的门一关就隔了音,他每天半夜在客厅拖地的迷惑行为一直都没有被现。
也有把他赶出去睡书房睡客厅的缘故。文颂懊恼地扒了扒头,“以后每天跟我睡一张床。”
秦覃在百般悲伤之中抽空对医生多了几分感谢,红着眼眶说:“哦。”
一路眼泪都没停,他从家里哭到医院,又从医院哭回家里,文颂给他灌了两大杯水才问到底怎么回事。
“你不带我,去见朋友,也不,带我回家。是不是,是不是不想,要我。”他委屈得要死,抽抽嗒嗒地说,“既然已经,已经不,需要我了。还把我找,回来干什么?”
文颂语塞了好一阵,不知道该哭还是该笑,“你在家里……都在想些什么啊。”
“没说不要你,蓝岚每次约地方都去酒吧,那里面乱糟糟的会影响你。所以才不让你去的。”
“那你也不去了吗?”
“你说呢。”文颂指了指外面,又无奈地给他擦眼泪,“才不到六点,天都没黑呢我就回来了,还去什么酒吧?今天不见了,蓝岚说他女朋友飞机可能晚点,我索性推了直接回来,哪都不去。”
秦覃这才把话都听进脑子里,把“我不配跟他去酒吧”换成“他说酒吧配不上我”,郁闷和委屈在心里沉积的致死量减轻了一半,“真的吗,那……”
他欲言又止,后半句跟着一声呜咽吞回了肚子里。
文颂知道那句原本应该是什么,只等着他问下午的私信聊天。
他还留着个微博小号不肯吐露,守财奴一样握在手里。就像是给自己留着条退路,生怕有一天再分开,不久前切身的折磨再来一遍,还有一条能隔空注视着文颂的路。
可那样是不行的。
回家这么多天,文颂一直都在等他亲口说出来。不是一声声道歉,而是不留退路再也无法违背的承诺。
可他宁可把郁闷和委屈又吞回肚子里,到最后什么都没有说。
大概还是急不来。文颂叹了口气,反思自己是否太过苛刻,把他逼得太紧了。
如果那个账号能让他有安全感,就让他捂着也没什么大不了的。
秦覃试探着躺进他怀里,见他没有再推,才放心地抱住他的腰蹭蹭。小奶狗似的寻求依赖感。文颂用手指给他顺毛,看他慢慢平静下来,“你还想跟我回家?那暑假我带你回去见外公好不好。”
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