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  他看出何犀眼里的心虚,又说:“一两年,说起来轻松,但实际上并没有那么快。这里的状况昨天你也体会过了,那些还只是轻症患者。这是我的职业,我理应承受这种沉重,但你真的不用为了我耗在这里。”

  何犀愣了愣,问道:“骆医生今天跟你说什么了吗?”

  他犹豫了片刻,答:“他说这是个死胡同,他也不愿意在这呆着。”

  “那就更不能留你一个人在这里啊。”她说着,抽了张纸往他嘴边擦了擦,尤叙本能性地躲闪了一下,被她揪住下巴,“怕我揍你?”

  他挪开头,站起来,从衣柜里拿出毛巾和衣服,“我去洗澡了,一身羊肉味。”

  “我跟你一块儿去。”她也跟着站起来。

  “……那是公共澡堂。”

  何犀直接往门外走,背对着他道:“你脑子里都是些什么东西?我洗衣服去!”

  他在原地无语地轻笑一声,对着衣柜摇了摇头。

  澡堂在一楼,男左女右,都是两间浴室和一排水池,门口各有个隔断视线的墙体和塑料帘子,凡事全凭自觉。

  何犀抱着一盆脏衣服走到水池边,对着污垢密布的池底、肮脏的水龙头、刮花的模糊镜子、昏暗至极的灯泡苦恼了一阵,最后贡献出自己的一把洗衣刷,哼哧哼哧地先把洗手台清理了一遍。

  有些陈年污垢实在难以除去,刷子由白转黑,她还没开始洗衣服就累了。因为出了些汗,长袖又老是滑下来,她干脆脱了外面的睡衣系在腰上,只穿着运动背心在池边弓背搓衣服。

  隔壁男澡堂哗啦啦地传来水声,热水遇上香皂,香味跟雾气一起弥漫开来,就是何犀小时候冬天和她妈一起去大澡堂时能闻到的气味,恍惚回到童年。

  她估计尤叙洗澡应该很快,所以加快了度,正要漂洗时,隔壁的水声停了。她抬眼,刚想喊一声问他是不是洗完了,突然在镜子里看到背后的窗格外,一双眼睛在昏暗里盯着她。

  她应该是立刻蹲下来嚎了一声,不过她自己也没太意识到。因为在那个头影消失的同时,她记忆里有些深埋已久的东西瞬间翻涌起来。

  尤叙脸色煞白地冲进来,单腿跪在面前将她扶住,疯狂问她怎么回事时,她的精神都没回来。

  在尤叙的角度,何犀的那声惨叫拉得非常长,听起来很凄楚绝望,绝不只是被吓到那么简单。

  有声的哀嚎停止之后,挣扎又转为无声。她蹲在地上,沾着泡沫的手指依然在抖,泪水源源不断地从眼眶中间挤出来,像是听不见他的声音,只独自忍受着某种漫长又难捱的痛苦。

  他没见过何犀这种状态,所以觉得眼前的画面看起来非常不真实。

  “何犀,是我!”她听见尤叙反反复复说着这句话,看见他表情很慌张,脸像月亮一样白。

  她想说没事,别急,但不出声音,自顾不暇,只能流着泪看他着急。

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