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快到中午的时候，傅一睿准时出现在我们科室门口，面无表情地伫立，远看着气势骇人，仿佛不是来邀我吃饭，倒是代表整形外科来心外科这谈判一般。我远远看见几个小护士看见他不自觉地贴着墙根绕道走，不觉好笑，朝他招了招手，示意他再等一会。傅一睿点点头，转身看我们科室墙上的心脏健康科普宣传画，我低头一笑，把还没做完的工作快手做完了，赶紧回办公室换了衣服，正要出去，却碰见邓文杰过来，朝我昂了下巴说：&ldo;下午我给个小孩子做室间隔缺损修补术，你来帮忙体外循环。&rdo;我心里咯噔一下，摇头说：&ldo;我暂时不想进手术室。&rdo;&ldo;我主刀，病患又是学龄前儿童，这么典型的手术你不来看？&rdo;邓文杰惊奇地反问，&ldo;你上回只是胸口挨了一刀，没伤到脑子啊。&rdo;我淡淡一笑，低头看了看自己的双手，确定它没有心理性颤抖，抬头对他说：&ldo;抱歉，邓文杰，我现在进不了手术室。&rdo;邓文杰皱了眉头，走过来骂我说：&ldo;你没毛病吧？你知不知道下面多少小医生等着这样的机会？&rdo;&ldo;我知道，&rdo;我点头说，&ldo;我知道你为我好，一场朋友，你做到这一点我真的很感谢你，但我目前，现在，真的无法进手术室，我怕到时候给你出状况连累你。&rdo;&ldo;我主刀的手术你能出什么状况？&rdo;他带了怒气，&ldo;张旭冉，你别给自己找借口。&rdo;&ldo;好吧，是我自己过不了心里那关，&rdo;我坦白说，&ldo;我直到现在，有时候闭上眼还会梦见上回死在我手里的孩子。你把这理解成心理阴影也行，理解成冤魂不散也行，反正在那个孩子彻底从我脑子里消散之前，我想我没法进手术室。&rdo;&ldo;旭冉，外科医生这一行就是个战场，就算你负伤，敌人也不可能等着你痊愈再朝你拼杀，我再问一次，你真的确定不要参加这个手术？&rdo;&ldo;她暂时不参加。&rdo;一个男声插了进来，我们回头一看，傅一睿悄悄地走过来站在我身边，斩钉截铁地说，&ldo;状态不对，不适合上手术台。&rdo;邓文杰怒瞪了他一眼，毫不留情地顶回去：&ldo;我们心外科的工作安排，傅主任越权了吧。&rdo;&ldo;我现在只是以张旭冉学长的身份跟你商量，邓副主任，希望你能通融下。&rdo;邓文杰不理会他，却调转视线，直直盯着我：&ldo;你还是坚持原有的意见？&rdo;我点头，低声说：&ldo;对不起，不如你让邹国涛顶替我的位置，他已经会很高兴的。&rdo;邓文杰像看外星人一样惊奇地看我，他眸子里有些意思似乎呼之欲出，但终究还是沉下去，他摇头无奈地对傅一睿说：&ldo;我发现，你学妹真像从火星上来的。&rdo;傅一睿淡淡地说：&ldo;火星比地球安全。&rdo;邓文杰轻笑了下，对我说：&ldo;行吧，你爱怎样就怎样，我不管你，但丑话说在前头，我这里不留没用的人，你最好赶紧调整你的状态，不然这里你没法呆。我不需要一个带实习生的保姆，我需要的是一个优秀的主刀医生。&rdo;我点点头，哑声说：&ldo;谢谢你。&rdo;邓文杰摇头晃脑嘀咕着转身要走，傅一睿叫住他：&ldo;邓副主任。&rdo;&ldo;嗯？&rdo;&ldo;多谢你一直以来对她的照应。&rdo;邓文杰意味不明地坏笑了，说：&ldo;不客气，我向来怜香惜玉。&rdo;傅一睿脸登时脸拉了下来，邓文杰哈哈大笑，对他说：&ldo;希望别照应出个白痴来。&rdo;傅一睿冷冰冰地说：&ldo;不牢你忧心，她还是有点智商。&rdo;邓文杰耸耸肩，再嘲讽地笑瞥了我一眼，转身快步走开。我有些不懂他们话里真正的意思，我迟疑着问：&ldo;那个，你们刚刚，是在讽刺我吗？&rdo;傅一睿不置可否，淡淡地说：&ldo;听得出了，那你还不算笨。走吧，就算再笨，也有吃饱饭的权利。&rdo;他说着抬脚就走，我火了，冲他嚷：&ldo;傅一睿，你给我站住，刚刚话里什么意思？&rdo;傅一睿的声音传过来：&ldo;跟上，再不走，你连饱饭都捞不着。&rdo;我跟着他出了大楼，拐向后门，穿过一条小窄巷，进到一家干净的私房菜菜馆。这家菜馆以屏风为间隔，我们在靠墙的座位上坐了，傅一睿略看了看菜单，便飞快地点了几样，点完命服务员赶紧上菜。他跟我口味接近，又常在一起吃饭，往往不用询问我的意见即能点到我心中喜欢的菜色。我一听他点的东西就笑了，傅一睿看了我一眼，拿过茶壶给我倒了一杯热茶，说：&ldo;笑得像个傻大姐，怎么啦？&rdo;
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