第285章 我不觉得我有多失职(第1页)
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怀宁垂着头,时不时侧目,“林榆…”他的声音很低,低沉又暗哑,“我试过了,我努力过了,可是…”痛苦席卷了他的整个面容,“我真的忍不住,忍不住多看你一眼,忍不住不去想你。”
他沉默了,又开口了。
“李焯雄真会写词儿,‘得不到的永远在骚动’,我承认,我不是个好人,因为喜欢你,但是没能跟你在一起,所以我总在遗憾…”
“遗憾着遗憾着,就变了味不是吗?”林榆打断了他的话,“你确定你的遗憾不是执念?你确定你是喜欢我?喜欢…你到底明不明白什么是喜欢?喜欢难道是不考虑我的感受,像一阵风一样闯进我的生活吗?还是一股寒冬的风…”她难以掩饰自己的难过,眼眶湿润,泪水打转,“怀宁,你真的冷到我了。”
“因为我从来都拿你当朋友,所以我不所谓冷不冷的,可是玫玫呢?”她接着控诉,“玫玫之前的那个女孩儿呢?她们真心喜欢你,你又怎么忍心让她们难过呢?”
眉头紧锁,怀宁有些心虚,心虚地手心汗,“我是对不起她们,因为我不够喜欢,可是作为男朋友,我不觉得我有多失职,玫玫写的小说,我一本不差的看完,即便我不喜欢看,我也会给她最高的评价,因为我知道她需要那样的评价,她喜欢干的事,我从来没有说不,她跟我在一起很开心,这难道还不够吗?”
“林榆,那我问你,你跟邵牧原在一起,你就那么确信他是真的喜欢你?”怀宁反客为主,步步紧逼,句句质问,“你出了这么大的事儿,他在哪?他问过你一句吗?就算是你瞒着他,你们之间的关系,他感觉不出来你的变化吗?他又算哪门子合格的男朋友?就算他比我大很多,我也没看出他比我成熟多少!”
当无人关心时人是最坚强的。
一旦破了口子,就成了决堤的河床。
听他这一番话,林榆想要反驳的情绪从火山的高峰,瞬间跌入雪山的低谷。
只是看向窗外的档口,她已经忘记想要脱口的话,转而变成脆弱又无助的低声抽泣。
她别过脸去,不愿看怀宁的脸。
有一种冲动,她要打电话告诉邵牧原,她现在有多么的难过,想要得到安慰,想要得到一个简单的拥抱,然后告诉她,“别怕,一切有我在。”
身子靠着墙,却抖动地厉害。
怀宁伸过来一只手却被林榆无情的抬手阻断,“我现在真的很累,能不能离我远点儿!”
“林榆,你想要的肩膀,我也可以给你。”怀宁仍然在祈求着,“哪怕你再讨厌我,等过了这一关,再讨厌,行不行?”他还是不愿放弃,“你把我当普通朋友也好,普通同学也罢,能不能让我的一厢情愿有个结果,就让我陪你走这一段路吧,走完这段路,只要你开口,我会自觉退场,再也不会出现在你的生活里,可以吗?”卑微留给爱人而不自爱者,也留给拼命想要却总也没有结果的人。
上天总喜欢跟人开玩笑,错过是平常,遗憾是常态。
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