下决心(第1页)
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6下决心晚上十点,陈源刚走不久,许妈打来电话,许惟一没接,猜也能猜到她将在电话里如何怒骂,命令她赶快滚回去。半个小时后,手机又响了会儿,许惟一听着心烦,直接挂断。深秋半夜,影院门前稀稀落落,不如下午那般门庭若市,许惟一没再执拗地等下去,怕回家没好果子吃。于是扶墙站起来,双腿因长时间蹲伏又酸又麻,她用手捶了捶,挪动步子,像跛子一瘸一拐往家走。十多分钟的路程生生被拖成一个世纪那么漫长,小区里寂静,很多楼栋黑了大片,人们已经裹紧被子沉入梦中。许惟一停在自家楼栋下,她拿出手机看,不久前发给许怀信的几十条消息,没有得到任何回复,许妈的两个未接来电亦然。实在不想回家去,她独自坐在楼栋门前,双手抱住膝盖,盯着地板的缝隙发呆。缝隙里有几只虫子爬来爬去,许惟一望着它们解闷,时间久了,睡意袭来,上下眼皮开始打架。忽然一双熟悉的球鞋从天而降,踏在虫子正待着的那处,停着不动了。虫子已经被踩死了吧。许怀信问:“在这里干什么?”许惟一顺着球鞋尖,爬过修长双腿、宽阔胸膛往上,对向许怀信的脸,在昏沉的路灯下忽明忽暗。她没有回答,垂下头又盯着泛白的鞋尖。夜凉如水,女孩只穿着单薄上衣,许怀信看着门前缩成的小小一团,走近几步,半蹲在她面前,声音忽然很轻很轻,像声叹息:“为什么不回家?”许惟一支起下巴,翻起眼皮锁着他,凝视良久,茫然地问:“你为什么到现在才回家?”她看着自己,这让许怀信眼前冒出了外婆家大片黄澄澄的油菜花,被风一吹,聚成团,翻涌成花海,浪潮汹涌着,几乎要把人溺死其中,她的眼瞳好像油菜花浪下忽闪的阴影,他伸手捂住那双湿漉漉的眼眸:“说了别再用这种眼神。”视线一片黑暗,眼皮被掌心熨帖的温热,她眨了眨眼睛,问:“什么眼神?”卷翘的睫毛搔得手心发痒,许怀信收回手,站起身,“回家吧。”“你还没回答我的问题。”她执拗的性子上来,再补一句:“两个问题。”许怀信明显不想浪费时间,抬脚就走。脚步声逐渐远去,他当真扔下她便走了。许惟一心里涩涩胀胀,不愿意回就不回答,为什么不再劝几句,她肯定立马跳起来和他回家的,就像从前那样。许惟一在外婆家住了五年,恰到了上学的年纪,许妈在老人的催促下,不情不愿地接她回去念书。她不适应城里的生活,更不适应和很多小孩挤在一起,听那些大人叽里呱啦的讲课,时常和同学闹矛盾,许妈因此而教训她,打骂皆是家常便饭。还专门挑许怀信不在家的时候。
直到叁年级,许惟一第一次被许妈打耳光,和打其他部位不一样,已经损害了人的自尊,她奋起反抗,装了几件衣服和许怀信抓的小猪娃娃,打算回外婆家。可是走进客车站,对着乌泱泱的形色不明的陌生人,她抓着书包袋子,两只小短腿不由自主地往后倒退,接着转身跑回家。那股气郁结于胸,她要做最后反抗,藏在小区里的大树下,不知不觉睡着了,天黑透,几盏路灯幽幽亮起,她才转眼醒来,肚子饿得咕咕叫,忽然一阵香味随风飘过,她循着食物的气味停在小区垃圾站前,眼珠子乱转悠,趁附近没人,垫脚往垃圾桶里翻,终于找到半块巧克力,正要擦擦灰吃下去,突然被打掉在地。转眼一看,竟是许怀信,他脸色阴沉,黑得像锅底,许惟一头一次见哥哥摆出妈妈那副表情,以为他也要打自己,想往后跑,谁知刚转身就被人提留着抱在怀里。许怀信找了她一整天,打电话问外婆,说她没回去,害怕这个小家伙被人贩子拐走,把学校和小区全翻遍,找不见人,又沿路四处寻了一天,去报警还未到二十四小时,他晚上回来又不死心在小区找,这才看到垃圾桶边头发凌乱的小女孩。刚上初一的许怀信已经长得跟大人一般高,许惟一像小鸡仔似的被夹抱着,瘦小的胳膊腿儿扑棱着,在路灯下张牙舞爪,大喊:“放我下来,放我下来。”许怀信被闹得只好放开,把她掰正,女孩嫩白脸上的指印没消完,他沉声质问:“一整天都去哪了?”又扯扯她背上的书包,翻出里面的衣服和娃娃,皱眉:“小小年纪还学人离家出走,知不知道外面多危险?跟哥哥回家!”他语气不好,沉闷地朝她发脾气,许惟一不懂为什么他们都轻易向她撒火,又挣扎道:“我不回去,那才不是我的家!我要去找外婆!”哪是家,简直是地狱!许妈像个老巫婆,动不动骂她打她,如今又招呼到脸上了,她虽然年纪小,早察觉出妈妈一点都不爱她,哪像陈源他妈,隔叁差五给他买新衣服,家长会毫不吝啬夸他,而自己无论多努力考第一名,却从未讨她欢心。许怀信把她紧紧抱在怀里,直到她精力耗尽,安静下来,他蹲下身子,仰头对上那张委屈皱巴的小脸蛋,轻柔地摸摸上面的红痕,话也多起来——“疼不疼了?”“放假我们就去找外婆。”“哥哥不会再让妈妈打你。”就是这句话,小小的许惟一头低着,眼一垂,掉下一连串的金豆子。面对妹妹委屈的泪水,许怀信心窝抽疼,用衣袖给她擦,语气温柔地哄:“不哭了,珠珠不哭,哥哥呼呼,呼呼就不疼了。”他边说边凑过去,嘴唇贴在脸蛋处轻轻呼着热气,丝丝缕缕地拂过受伤的地方,许惟一垂眼看着男孩认真模样,瞬间止住眼泪。“乖珠珠。”许怀信摸摸她的发顶,背起小家伙回了家。自此之后,许妈确实不打她了,偶尔骂几句,大多时候冷眼相对。这都归功于许怀信的功劳,他为她和母亲吵了一架。所以什么时候许怀信对自己这般冷漠无情,看她的眼神也暗含厌恶,和许妈同个底色。既然许怀信再不会多看她一眼,那不如彻底撕破脸。次日下午,许怀信接到郭茜妮被绑的信息,几张污秽不堪的照片,让他去青鸟旅馆204房收人。珠珠即猪猪,妹妹属猪
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