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第10章(第1页)

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商暮秋似乎没发现,靠过来跟江慎并排倚着墙,把烟嘴叼在自己嘴里,摸出打火机点了烟,吐着烟圈才有了一些叙旧的气氛,慢悠悠开口:“这两年过得怎么样?”

商暮秋问他这两年过得怎么样,就像他真的关心一样。醇厚的烟草味散开,江慎头顶还隐隐作痛,甚至还有点头晕。

江慎逼着自己清醒,然后没所谓同时也是拒人于千里之外地回答:“不怎么样。”

烟雾朝天散开,商暮秋夹着烟没再往嘴里送。

江慎语气乍一听冷冰冰,仔细听,有点赌气的意思。

换个角度就是心里有怨气,在撒娇,防备心重的人只有对着亲近的人才会任性和撒娇。所以商暮秋非但没有生气,反而在看到江慎抿紧的唇线的时候想伸手摸一摸那颗脑袋,但是江慎忽然又改口了:“……挺好的。”

话一出口江慎就后悔了,商暮秋那话明显就是寒暄,寒暄就是客气,客气就是说你好不好关我毛事,不好也别告诉我。

他还是有点不讲道理,商暮秋没有对他的人生负责的义务。

意识到这一点的同时,江慎几乎没有缝隙地改口

【作者有话说】

可怜的小江慎翻出一个破碗,立了一个牌子:给点海星吧老爷们

一颗糖

母亲去世之后,商暮秋对外界漠不关心,但是偶尔对弱小的生命会产生一点怜悯。

这很正常,商暮秋是蝼蚁,江慎在商暮秋面前也是蝼蚁,人对弱小自己数倍、随意就能支配其生死的生命会本能地产生居高临下的怜悯,会因为自己能够支配对方的生死而产生满足与责任感。

有了第一次的施舍,再一次他路过江慎面前,江慎看向自己的目光就会更加期待,更加小心翼翼,又不敢表现出太多的贪心。

他不知道今天还有没有糖,或者商暮秋会不会再一次蹲下去跟他说两句话——对江慎而言,这几句话的施舍不亚于一只能甜好半天的棒棒糖。

次数多了,江慎会主动喊他小秋哥哥,目光中带有的希冀也会更明显:今天有糖吗?

今天这个哥哥会跟我说话吗?

会不会问我有没有吃饭,玩的什么?

会不会不理我,就那么走了?

支配他人的喜怒哀乐带给商暮秋隐秘的满足感,当他目不斜视路过江慎面前,在他从欣喜到按捺欣喜再到失落,走过去好几步了再回头抛出今天的糖果,江慎的欣喜会翻倍,商暮秋的成就感亦会。

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