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婉然眼睛翻翻：&ldo;不去，姐姐你要去就去，这一桌子菜我叫上宫人们一起替你用了。&rdo;我嗤声笑道：&ldo;脾气真是大了。也罢，都没用膳，不劳你们跑一趟。你替我跟云溪诗染赔个罪，我可不是瞧不上你们的手艺……&rdo;婉然的这番埋怨若放在从前，我少不得要转嫁给庄聆，今日却委实是没这个心情说笑。进了吟水阁向她一福：&ldo;姐姐万福。&rdo;&ldo;快来。&rdo;庄聆快步过来，手搭在我的手上，微微凝视了我一会儿，轻轻一叹，&ldo;就知道你这些日子不好过，看你这没精打采的样子，哪儿像是过生辰？&rdo;我随着她坐下来，她倒了一杯桂花陈推到我面前。这一桌子筵席确实准备得很细致，色香味俱全，一眼望去道道精致。我却仍是半点食欲也没有，亦是一叹：&ldo;这个境地，我哪来的心思过生辰。&rdo;&ldo;你啊……干什么给自己找难过？后宫失宠是常事，急不得恼不得的。&rdo;我缓摇头：&ldo;姐姐这是给我宽心呢。可姐姐也知道，我这哪是寻常的失宠……擅服避子汤这么大的罪名，陛下不罚归不罚，可连见也不肯见我了，我连个解释的机会都没有。&rdo;心底的烦乱与委屈向上涌着，涌到眼角化作一片湿润，又被我微抬起头强忍回去，&ldo;我凑合着过也还罢了，可晏家……晏家经不起啊！我真恨不得去求陛下赐个恩典，给我个承诺不动晏家，自己死也就死了。&rdo;&ldo;瞎说什么！&rdo;庄聆口气厉了几分，又马上缓了下来，劝着我道，&ldo;你心思太多，其实这些事都不急于一时。朝堂上，姜家再一手遮天也还有我父亲顶着，一时半刻的出不了什么岔子。后宫里，你但凡没死没进冷宫，也总还有出路。&rdo;&ldo;出路？&rdo;一声刻薄的嘲笑从我口中溢出，&ldo;就算是家中落难那日，也还有赵伯伯帮着我绝处逢生。可这次……姐姐你不知道陛下有多恼我，听说愉姬那日不过提了我一句便被斥了，我能怎么办？&rdo;被从容的笑和一丝不苟的妆掩饰压抑了十二日的眼泪终是夺眶而出，我任由着自己伏在桌上哭到泣不成声，&ldo;我也委屈不甘……可……可唯一能做决断的人我见也见不到。他认准了是我自己要服避子汤，晚秋又让皇后送走了……我根本解释不清……竫贵姬乱安的那个私会外臣的罪名，陛下当场没说什么，可他到底是听进去了啊……&rdo;我哭得语不择言，虽然皇后已向两位太后挡住了这事，但也仅此而已。我不论是要为了自己复宠还是为了晏家，总要寻到个出路。但这个出路，我寻不到。宫中嫔妃惹上这样的事，一切都在他一念之间，我若不能让他信我，那么做什么努力都是枉然。更可怕的，是我如果就这样一天天的过下去，总有一天会将从前与他的情分耗尽。到那时，只怕谁想取我性命都会易如反掌。我如何不怕。作者有话要说：基友阿笙的完结文欢迎戳哦欢迎戳哦~~正文027罚跪&ldo;哭成这样，只怕你不只是为了这些吧。&rdo;庄聆的语声清幽而沉静，在我心头一敲，&ldo;就算这些年陛下怎么惯着你，你经过的比这更大的事又何止一件？&rdo;&ldo;晏然，你知不知道，即便陛下与你也是夫与妾，可你如果不动这份心思，你在宫里的日子会好过很多？&rdo;我无助地呆坐着，在一声长叹之后苦笑着轻言：&ldo;是啊……我知道，这十几天，我都觉得自己蠢透了。&rdo;庄聆摇摇头：&ldo;也不必这样说，人么，都有七情六欲，由不得自己。&rdo;&ldo;我说的不是这个。&rdo;我扫一眼桌上佳肴，执筷夹了片桂花糯米藕，放在眼前端详着，&ldo;就跟这藕片似的，完整的时候，全看不出里面还有那根根细丝，断了才知道。我现在是恨出了这样的事才觉出自己的心思，从前对陛下半点真心也没用，现在想真心相对了，又没了机会。&rdo;庄聆愕然看着我，直至我慢条斯理地将那片糯米藕吃完，她仍是这个神情。我放下筷子问她：&ldo;怎么了？&rdo;她笑意里浸着悯意：&ldo;你啊……你这是实实在在的犯傻，一点不含糊。&rdo;&ldo;含不含糊的，如今也是我自己犯傻了。&rdo;我取了帕子出来，一点点擦干了眼泪，话语引显生硬，&ldo;倒是我知不知道自己的心思，这日子照样得过；我想不想与陛下真心相对，横竖不能赔上晏家。姐姐，我求你为我铺个出路。&rdo;
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