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我到成舒殿觐见，一个福礼行下去，宏晅扫了我一眼，随意地吩咐郑褚：&ldo;传膳吧。&rdo;就不再有别的话，显是一反常态。我揣度着不敢多言，只恼自己昨日喝了酒很多事不记得了。随在他身后一起落座用膳，这一顿早膳吃得也格外冷寂。他有话不说，我明明心中惴惴还要装出无事的样子，竭力显得平静。&ldo;昨晚醉得不轻，歇好了？&rdo;还是他先开了口。我放下手里一下下在粥里舀着的调羹，颌首道：&ldo;是，歇好了。&rdo;&ldo;那你还记不记得，昨晚你说了什么？&rdo;用来打破沉寂的关心之言就此搁下，他忽然直截了当地这样问了一句，我心中一悚，苦思之下仍是毫无答案，迷茫地垂首应道：&ldo;昨晚神思不清……想不起来了。&rdo;&ldo;确实神思不清。&rdo;他一声轻笑中掺着些许冷意，&ldo;却是酒后吐真言。&rdo;一缕不祥的感觉在我心底蔓延开来，使得我自内而外地生冷，冷得胳膊不由自主地发了抖。我双手在膝上一叩，强自止住，平静地道：&ldo;臣妾昨日醉得厉害，如有失言之处……请陛下明示。&rdo;&ldo;朕在你嫁人前强要了你，你根本就不可能原谅朕是不是？&rdo;他字字森然的话语，仿若一道惊雷在我心中炸开，我震惊地滞了半晌，才略回了神，惶惑不已地望着他，一句话都难说完整：&ldo;陛下您……您为何这样说？&rdo;他好似没听到我震惊之下的追问，一味地笑道：&ldo;那你后来转了性、如此顺从又是为什么？为了给自己寻条生路？还是为了晏家？&rdo;他说话时一直只是瞧着面前案上那一处空处，好像在自言自语。那一缕不安的感觉愈发明显……昨日他醉成那般，恰与那日有些相似。我不记得我说过什么，但那感觉我记得的。随着醉意不断涌动的脑海中，尽是那一日的情景……那般的回忆之下，我究竟说了什么，竟让他今日说出这样的话……他又一声轻笑，带起了嘲意：&ldo;你借着酒劲，一句句话都和当日一般无二。&rdo;我惊惧不安中还是疑惑更甚，他眸色一沉，顿了一顿，轻缓而道，&ldo;你告诉朕你要嫁人了，要朕放了你……呵，晏然，这么久了，朕还真以为你不在意了。倒是忘了，你是心气多高的一个人。&rdo;他猛地伸手攥住我的手腕将我拉近，那样用力，只觉手腕一阵苏麻沿着胳膊延伸。他盛怒的逼视却让我顾不得腕上的不适，惊慌失措地与他对视。他狠狠道：&ldo;你到底要什么，大可直言说出来。朕是一国之君满足你便是，不用你在此强颜欢笑！&rdo;&ldo;陛下……&rdo;酸涩的泪意已涌到眼边，我启齿紧扣下唇忍了又忍，还是挡不住双眼一阵模糊之后顺颊而下的眼泪。宏晅的神色缓了一缓，放开我的手，冷漠地瞧着我揉着手腕不语。婉然担着险上前递了帕子，即刻躬身退下，我一边轻轻拭着眼泪，一边带着一丝微凄的笑意道：&ldo;是，就如陛下所闻所见，那日的事臣妾终究无法释怀。&rdo;他右肘支着桌子，看也不看我，鼻音带起的冷笑无半分温度。我离座，行到他侧后跪下去，俯身下拜：&ldo;臣妾起初承宠，也的的确确是为了晏家，陛下恕罪。&rdo;他的声音轻缓飘渺，含着不屑的威胁：&ldo;朕当日根本没想再动你晏家，但你如今的欺君之罪，莫说毁你晏家祖坟宗祠，朕就是将你尚存于世的兄妹都诛杀了也不为过。&rdo;&ldo;是，臣妾知道。&rdo;我心中的惊惧已让我觉得不堪重负，仍极力遏制着，吐出的话语字字平缓，&ldo;相较于别的世家，晏家已一切荣耀皆逝。祖坟宗祠，是晏家先祖唯一的栖身之所。臣妾是晏家嫡长女，于理于情不能坐视不管，当日臣妾不知陛下的想法，只好尽自己的力。至于臣妾的兄妹……臣妾但求陛下看在九年的情分上莫要牵累旁人。&rdo;&ldo;你还敢和朕提情分？&rdo;他怒笑一声反问着，似是觉得我的要求匪夷所思。&ldo;是。因为除却决意承宠别有它因之外，臣妾待陛下的感情，都是真的。&rdo;气氛微凝，少顷，他口气缓和几分但仍是冷淡：&ldo;自相矛盾，你分明记恨至今。&rdo;&ldo;那件事臣妾确实无法释怀，对陛下却不是恨。&rdo;我直起身，他果然已转向我，目光如炬不容我说谎。我对上他的视线，沉静续道，&ldo;臣妾无法释怀的，不是从此跟了陛下。而是陛下您打碎了臣妾的一个希望，嫁人为妻的希望。陛下您知臣妾对此有怎样的期盼，臣妾若说自己对此毫不介怀，您可信么？您觉得臣妾是个没有心的人吗？&rdo;
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