第八十八章 女孩们女神节为女性鸣不平 社畜们吐槽请假心理压力大(第1页)
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场景1
三八妇女节上午,公司举办纪念会,某部五个年轻女员工呈跳棋状站在台上,前面两个,后面三个,一个个妆容精致,表情严肃,拿着稿子,身体挺的笔直。
“今天是女神节,”曲晓晓开始朗诵,眼睛直视台下,眼神咄咄逼人,声调抑扬顿挫,“女神却忘记了……不到六点,她就努力睁开惺忪的睡眼,艰难起床——”
邱宝宝语气急促,“女神坐在马桶上刷牙——”
姜甜甜跟上,“女神给孩子穿衣服——”
安可接着,“女神拎着睡眼惺忪的孩子去幼儿园!”
樊美美声音急促,“……送完孩子,女神去上班,她快步冲上一节地铁车厢,车厢特别挤,女神和另一位女神被一群强壮的男性毫不留情地挤到角落,两位女神被迫紧紧贴在一起!女神说,你往后靠靠,你挤得我好难受;另一个女神说,怎么靠?后面男人好像大山难动摇!嫌挤为啥不开车?女神回怼,你早上吃屎了,嘴巴咋这么臭?两个女神你一句我一句,越说越急,吐沫星子乱飞,互撕头,场面一时失控——幸亏有人把她们拉开了!”
她一会演这个女神,一会演那个女神,张开两个手掌做九阴白骨爪状,牛眼圆睁,表情夸张,演的非常逼真。
台上女孩们一起跺右脚,咔咔咔,烘托紧张气氛!
台下众人被带入现场情景,一个个直拍大腿,“唉,何必呢,何必呢……这不是妥妥的底层互害,菜鸡互啄,情何以堪啊!”
待台下众人声音平息后,曲晓晓缓缓开口,“……女神披头散、狼狈不堪到了公司,才知道今天是她的节日,她可以当一天女神!”
邱宝宝语气激动,“她手捧鲜花,泪流满面,感慨万千,浮想联翩……”
樊美美展开,“从呱呱落地到长大成人,女神当过很多角色,有女儿,有妻子,有母亲——”
安可,“那么多的角色里她最喜欢当的是女儿……”
姜甜甜语带缅怀,“那时,父母还没有白,”
曲晓晓,“自己还没有长大,”
邱宝宝,“最爱的书还是童话,”
樊美美,“童话里的公主最终都是嫁给了英俊的王子,”
姜甜甜,“而不是大腹便便打着呼噜的中年男子;”
安可换主题,“婚姻都是因为爱情,”
曲晓晓,“而不是年龄到了该嫁人了;”
邱宝宝,“喜欢的植物因为会开花——”
樊美美,“而不是可以做菜!”
安可总结,“那时,命运预谋展开的章节像小说一样跌宕的情节——”
大家齐声,“她都还不知道……”
朗诵完毕,台下众人使劲鼓掌,曲晓晓拉着小作文作者刘美惠和女孩们一齐鞠躬。
这时,下面传来一道不和谐声音,“我觉得,这个东西有严重bug……”大家看去,原来是包一凡这厮。
曲晓晓不高兴,“哪儿有问题?!”
“幼儿园老师大部分是女的吧?今天幼儿园也放假吧?”
曲晓晓蹙眉,“这是艺术作品,艺术作品允许一定虚构!你叫什么真啊?!”
赵东平跳出来帮腔,“你们这篇东西,有搞乱别人家庭的嫌疑——就女的忙孩子了?她老公没有管?婆婆呢?她妈呢?”
曲晓晓恶狠狠蹬他们——两个搅屎棍!
刘美惠挺身而出,喝道:“赫赫,男人靠得住,母猪能上树!”
赵东平严肃脸,“抗议,不许贬低男人!”
包一凡嬉皮笑脸,“为什么是母猪?公猪不行吗?”
刘美惠大声说:“男人是种奇怪生物,让人无法理解!总想和女人有个家,然后不回!总想和女人有个娃,然后不管!”她说到后面,带上了rap节奏。
台上女孩心领神会,马上跟着节奏,摇摆身体,“呦呦!”
台下众人睁大眼睛,“妈呀?还有Rap节目?”
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