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宋杰宁没走,陪他输完液,送他回家,又等了半天,又等到陈天华打算自杀的时候出场把刀子夺下。如此闹腾几天,陈天华在绝望与眼泪中把那点对刘维的舍不得磨得差不多了,宋杰宁确定他不会再出什麽意外了才敢走。他走的时候带著拿到陈天华家工作的那几台电脑,载著电脑去父母家吃算是中秋节那天没去,陪罪的饭。见到他,宋母没说什麽,只是在陪著儿子上楼的时候不禁小声问:&ldo;刘维还好吗?&rdo;&ldo;挺好。&rdo;宋杰宁朝他母亲笑笑,他母亲天天打电话问他为什麽不回家吃饭,他又懒得为此撒谎,只好说刘维出了点事。此时正好进屋,屋里老头子冷冰冰嘲讽的声音从嘴里说了出来,&ldo;哟,你还记得回来啊?&rdo;父亲对他的刻薄不是一天两天了,以前还被他打得进过医院,被赶出过家,高中二年级的时候刚知道他是gay,就一分钱都不再给他任他自生自灭,种种说出来在别人耳里相当离谱的事情宋杰宁都在他父亲身上领教过了,而这麽多年过去,当然不会去恨一个是他父亲的老头子,也学会了不为他的冷言刺语难受。反正现在骂骂也死不了人。见儿子回来,宋父又拿出了那幅阴阳怪气的脸孔,早就麻木了的宋母一声不吭地去了厨房。自从知道唯一的儿子是个同性恋後,这个家就没有真正平静过。老头子先前往死里逼儿子改正,没把人逼死,就换了现在这种嫌恶的态度。有时候,越是关系紧密的人,越是对对方无法容忍的事苛求到骨子里头,似乎每见一眼,都恨不他在眼前死一遍才消得了气。宋父对宋杰宁就是如此。可宋杰宁不再是以前那个青涩小子,他出外谋生多年,什麽气没受过?什麽苦难也没担当过?他父亲现在这点气其实对他来说都是小儿科了,说得再难听他也能当作耳边风──吹过就忘。对於这方面,他早麻木多年了,反正他妈要跟他爸过一辈子,他又不能舍下他妈不认,他这个爸,虽然对他不算是个人,但怎麽说也是他父亲,既然无法摆脱,那就承受。於是他爱怎麽说就怎麽说去,他也成年了,老头子除了能说几句难听话之外,也不能干什麽。饭桌上,宋父又说了一堆难听的话,说到最後,嘲笑起了宋杰宁那份年薪上百万的工作起来了,不屑地说他是个建筑师又怎样?不过也是个跑腿的,隔壁洪科长的儿子一个中秋节收的礼的钱比他一年都多。他尽情在饭桌上把宋杰宁贬得一文不值,宋杰宁面无表情地吃完饭,也没再多呆,塞了他妈一叠钱就走了。反正家庭关系他早很多年前就没再奢望过能正常了,自知道他是同性恋,而且打死不变之後,他父亲这把当他洪水猛兽的态度他真是习惯得不能再习惯了。没期望,也就不会失望。宋母送宋杰宁到楼下的时候又哭了起来,骂宋杰宁:&ldo;既然你们这种人都找女人结婚去了,你为什麽不找?你为什麽不成全我们?&rdo;宋杰宁随她骂,随她哭,也任由她跟著,反正让她先回去她也不会听。到了车旁,见他上车,宋母又慌了,问他:&ldo;你下次什麽时候回来?&rdo;宋杰宁尽管不在乎他们对他怎麽样,但因他们的脸色言语难免心口还是有点抑郁,深吸了口气把那点郁结排了出去。&ldo;国庆节回不回来?&rdo;宋母见儿子的脸色也难受起来,就像恶性循环,他父亲对他恶毒,而她当母亲的,也学不会再去对他说几句温立细语。似乎在多年前他们全在儿子面前撕破脸皮之後,她与儿子的关系不是她的打打骂骂就是她的哭哭啼啼。她想过要对他好一点,但见到面,却往往力不从心。见他母亲还要说话,宋杰宁不得不开了口:&ldo;不回来了,还有工作,你回去,我先走了。&rdo;说著就打开了车门进了车内,不带一点停留地倒车驶离。反正,与父母之间,他会尽孝,也会尽责任,但更多的,他也给不了他们。他也不会去找个女人结婚欺骗世人,他不是什麽好人,但也不会去扯一个无辜的人下水。他给不了的东西,他不会去骗人说他给得了。总算到了家,尽管好几天没睡,又回去供家人尖酸刻薄了一翻,但宋杰宁还是摸了把脸把做好的图纸又检查了一遍,然後发给了总工程师。
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