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第003章 X生活(第2页)

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陈冠东顿生好奇,盯着范坚强,问:“范大哥,你快啊!”

就,怕什么怕!都酒精能壮胆,范坚强一改平时畏缩,瞥了眼性感的马玲淑,然后喘着粗气道:“不错,就是x生活!你们的嫂子,现在是越来越不像话了。平时不是腰酸,就是腿疼,反正就是累!她这一累倒好,可把我害苦了。你们给我评评理,咱不管怎么,都是一正常男人吧?正常男人,就得有正常需要吧?可她却我精力太旺盛,整天光知道想那龌龊事,一都不替她考虑考虑。我就纳闷,夫妻间的正常x生活,怎么就成龌龊事了?这都不算什么,还有更让我纳闷的。只要我想跟她亲热,她就像躲避瘟疫似的,唯恐避之不及啊,甚至还骂我有病变态!”

“哈哈——哈哈哈——”

马玲淑和陈冠东顿时爆出一阵大笑,足足持续了半分钟左右。若不是肚子受不了,这样的笑声不定还要持续下去。马玲淑更夸张,一手捂着肚子,一手揉着眼睛,直喊妈妈救命。

范坚强张着嘴巴,一副大惑不解:“你们傻笑什么啊?我的可都是真的!”

陈冠东笑得上气不接下气,许久才稍稍平息,趴在桌面上,疑似真气耗尽:“我范——范大哥——你真是一苦命人——兄弟我——我深表同情——”

范坚强合上嘴巴,端起一杯酒,一饮而尽,气愤道:“我不要同情!跟你们句实在话,我要不是看在儿子的份上,早给她娘家封休书了。我范坚强,一不赌,二不嫖,每天还要承担三份家务,够对得起这个家了。知道啥叫曲棍男么?我Tm就叫曲棍男,整天弯着腰跑来跑去!”

马玲淑还真没同情范坚强,挺了挺胸脯,嗲嗲地打趣:“我范大哥,你那方面是不是真的精力旺盛呀?我们女人又不是机器,哪能受得了野蛮折腾呢?而且,我们女人是最容易受伤的哦,需要男人细心呵护。女人花,女人花,是花中最娇嫩最娇贵的一种。盲目采摘,可是要追悔莫及的呀!”

陈冠东眨巴着眼睛,盯着马玲淑裸露在外的乳沟:“嗯,看上去就挺娇嫩的。美女,看不出来,你还挺有内涵的,居然懂得那么多!”

马玲淑赶紧伸手护住乳沟,嗔怨道:“别这样看嘛!你这样色迷迷的,让我以后在范大哥面前怎么好意思抬头啊!是不是啊,范大哥?”

范坚强本来是要尽情诉苦,乘机数落数落老婆欧阳兰的不是,来平衡平衡自己的心态。哪曾想,这两家伙居然无视自己的存在,当面开始了打情骂俏。他觉得刚才很冒失,了不该的话。忽然间,他现自己很灯泡,很孤单,甚至还很可怜。想到这里,他没心情去瞅马玲淑的胸脯,更没有回答马玲淑的话,兀自倒酒连饮数杯:这命根子啊,真是害人呐!

陈冠东现了范坚强的变化,朝马玲淑一挤眼。

马玲淑迅拿掉护着乳沟的手,将注意力重新集中到范坚强身上:“坚强哥,你别伤心郁闷啊!不就床上那事么?一个大男人,犯不着这么垂头丧气的。再了,精力旺盛的男人,可是女人们眼中的抢手货。你呀,别总把自己扔在家里,弄得越来越鼠目寸光,得走出去啊,看看外面五花八门的世界!”

陈冠东赶紧附和道:“是啊,范大哥,你可要坚强起来。平时下班没事,多跟我出去玩玩。那些灯红酒绿的世界啊,哪儿不是美女一抓一大把?马美女刚才的对,男人精力旺盛是好事,我羡慕都来不及呢!”

“饱汉不知饿汉饥,你们是不知道我的心酸,”范坚强唉声叹气,又自斟自饮一杯,然后有意无意地瞥了下马玲淑的胸脯,“啥精力旺盛啊?你们凭啥我那方面精力旺盛啊?你们知道她给我定的饭量么?猜猜看,使劲猜!”

饭量这个词,并不难懂,马玲淑和陈冠东自然明白。

“一天一次?”马玲淑脱口而出。

“一周三次?”为了追求客观,陈冠东猜测很保守。

谁知,范坚强立即就笑了,笑得很凄惨:“呵呵,一天?一周?天和周这样的计算单位,对我来太奢侈了。实话吧,你们嫂子用的单位不是天和周,而是月!”

马玲淑和陈冠东不约而同道:“一个月多少次?”

范坚强竖起右手中指:“一次,就Tm一次!”

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