第13页(第1页)
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宫弦的心开始砰砰乱跳,自从秦非情昏迷那晚过後,两人之间竟亲密平和许多,整日里依偎在一起,说的话虽然不少,却再无相互嘲讽揭短。秦非情身子不好,对情欲之念都淡了下去,宫弦也没有心思再想什麽诱惑之法,只安静的陪在秦非情身侧,倒像是回到两人最初相识的少年岁月。那时相识相交,也曾像现在这般把臂同游,甚至也曾同床共枕,只是那时宫弦尚不知秦非情对他爱慕至深,顶多当作对方一时情迷的胡言乱语,拒绝之後便不肯与这人同房而睡。这一次却是不同,他清清楚楚知道对方待他的情意至今未变,铭心刻骨,但又随时准备著亲手杀了他。不知为何,他竟并不如何害怕了,也许是秦非情一次又一次的说要杀他,反而让他看穿了对方其实下不了手。若能下手,何必多次重复,显是自己也不相信自己,才这般像个妇人般念念叨不停。就如他心中离开秦非情独自回宫的念头,虽然从未断绝,一次又一次的想起,但未有一次真的做出,若说是全因胆怯,他自己也不太信。两人深夜长谈,有许多从前未说的话俱都一一说出,彼此对应之後只觉得世事荒谬。比如当初秦非情第一次强迫他,乃是因为恨自己一片真心被他利用;他当初恨上秦非情,也是因为对方辜负他信任之心。那个晚上,两人都曾痛苦至极,如今想来只馀荒唐怅惘……秦非情说,最对不住他的便是从未後悔过这件事,若不是那一晚,一生都不能与他如此纠缠。能够遇见心爱之人,却一生都只能陌路而过,宫弦既然决心要做皇帝,只会离自己越来越远。自古野心勃大却任性於小节者皆无善终,宫弦想必也不会例外,与其让他死在别人刀下,不若让自己成为他最大的仇人。宫弦痴痴出了一会神,竟吐露了一个深藏心里许久的秘密。他道当初与秦非情结识不久,两人同床共眠之时,曾在心底想过隐退宫廷,跟随秦非情一生一世快意江湖,但这个念头刚一生出便被他自己压了下去,两个男子日後总要各自成家,何来什麽一生一世?後来秦非情对他当面表白,他更以为秦非情存心戏辱,只贪图他美貌皮相,与宫中那些欺负他的太监皇兄并无不同,心下恼恨之极,绝不把从前那个天真的念头对秦非情说出。到了那晚,秦非情强行压在他身上,他更是心灰意冷,再不信除却宫引之外的任何一人。如今回想起来,自己那时根本不甚明白,为何会对秦非情生出一生相随之心,想是太过年少,连朋友之义或动情恋慕都分辨不出。这一番话令秦非情听得险些晕去,又是惊喜、又是叹息,若宫弦早些开窍,信了自己对他是真心爱慕,该省了多少悲情辛苦?但幼年所受之苦令宫弦极为厌恶男子对其萌生情欲,秦非情表白之时也只是少年,情动时一边说著甜言蜜语、一边抱著宫弦强吻。便是这一阵强吻,令得宫弦当场翻脸拒绝、落荒而逃,从此不信秦非情对他是痴心仰慕,而是只拿他当一个泄欲的娈宠。
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