第101页（第1页）
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杜若蘅准备去一趟景曼，在楼下听到有人轻咳一声。她回过头，周晏持站在不远处正看着她。两人对视片刻，周晏持面不改色地开口：&ldo;出差。路过。&rdo;十分钟后两人坐在附近的快餐店内吃早餐。杜若蘅咬下一口汉堡，周晏持接到一个电话，他看了一眼，随后挂断。然后对着食物一脸嫌弃的神色。杜若蘅慢悠悠说：&ldo;不吃就走。&rdo;周晏持闭着眼把东西吞下去。杜若蘅问他：&ldo;真的出差？&rdo;周晏持看了她一会儿。&ldo;假的。&rdo;杜若蘅哦了一声。又说：&ldo;那为什么骗人？&rdo;&ldo;……&rdo;&ldo;你都来了s市，怎么不把缇缇一起带过来？&rdo;&ldo;……&rdo;周晏持又看了她一会儿。说：&ldo;刚才是张雅然的电话。&rdo;杜若蘅淡淡一记挑眉：&ldo;所以呢？&rdo;&ldo;没有所以。&rdo;周晏持说，&ldo;就是说一说。&rdo;杜若蘅想了想说：&ldo;其实不用。&rdo;这回她倒是很和气，连讥讽都没有了，就只是平铺直叙地跟他说不用。如果换成另外一种表达方式，无非就是‐‐我知道你是要跟我报备，虽然跟我没什么关系，但说不说是你的自由，你实在想说我也没办法。但真的无所谓。这种态度就比对待个路人稍微好一点，纯属客套，没掺杂什么私人感情的迹象。这让周晏持招架不住。尽管他在刚才做了很多准备，现在却依然很难再把下面的话题继续下去。他斟酌着说出口，从头到尾仿佛都很艰难：&ldo;这三年里，我没有再找过别的女人。&rdo;☆、杜若蘅的动作停下来，抬头看向他。她不说话，仅仅是看着他，目光让人很难看懂，仿佛带着一点研究的意味，又像是在沉思。周晏持几乎不知道应该再怎么说下去。他的话说出口，莫名其妙就变了味。尤其现在是在快餐店，环境热闹而嘈杂，他不能保证杜若蘅真正明白了他的意思。两人沉默了一会儿。他最后说：&ldo;不是你想的那样。&rdo;杜若蘅反问：&ldo;你怎么知道我想的是什么样？&rdo;周晏持从来没觉得讲话有这么困难过。他又沉默了半天才开口：&ldo;我没有别的意思，也没有恶意，只是想告诉你，这三年我在改变。&rdo;杜若蘅垂目不语。周晏持过了一会儿又补充道：&ldo;如果你稍微打听，可以知道现在我连绯闻都没有。&rdo;两人都不再说话，各怀心思。对于周晏持而言，他很难再说出像&ldo;我们两个重新开始&rdo;之类的话，就算可能已经在心里演练了无数遍。杜若蘅的表情平淡如水，让他不能不把大半的情绪都掩饰下去。而且提起这样的话题，杜若蘅注定也不会有多好的反应。在今天之前两人还没有正经聊过忠贞这两个字。十年之前双方各自都认为这毋庸置疑，三年之前这是禁忌，杜若蘅最血淋淋的一道伤疤，就算离婚两年也没能愈合的疙瘩。那个时候她见着他都要生气，更不要想面对面互相坐下来探讨这个话题。更何况就算那时真的坐下来探讨，也不会有什么好结果。那个时候的周晏持还没有什么彻底悔改的迹象，如果他真的是旁人说错就是错，就会立刻改正的人，他们也不必离婚。同时杜若蘅也不必在跟他摊牌之后受到他两个多月的冷落。那个时候他音信全无，之前所有的和好迹象都戛然而止，除了周晏持拒绝改变之外，不作他想。杜若蘅突然有些食不知味，她把手上的食物放回到了餐盘里。她问：&ldo;什么时候改变主意的？&rdo;&ldo;你指什么？&rdo;杜若蘅说得很平静：&ldo;修身养性，忠贞不渝。&rdo;周晏持对这八个字并不适应。隔了一会儿才说：&ldo;三年前。&rdo;&ldo;三年前什么时候？&rdo;他又停顿，然后说：&ldo;车祸之后。&rdo;&ldo;车祸之后怎么会突然想起来这事？&rdo;&ldo;……&rdo;杜若蘅突然笑了笑：&ldo;不方便回答？不妨听听看我说得对不对。你出了车祸，人都要去了也没人去医院看你一眼。你醒过来以后一定觉得不好受。大概你本来并不觉得身心分离是多大的事，可是导致了这样的结果你肯定不喜欢。这三年里，你在继续维持原貌跟做出改变之间权衡，最后可能觉得，周缇缇的分量，或者说，周缇缇跟我加起来的分量比蓝玉柔温怀之类的人要重那么一点，所以你现在选择了妥协‐‐我有没有说错？&rdo;
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