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&ldo;恭喜发财。&rdo;王铮木然地应了。他走进医院,大堂灯火通明,电视里正在转播春节联欢晚会,他默默穿过门诊大楼,向住院部走去,一路几乎没撞见人,诺大的医院,一时间虽然灯火通明,但却宛若一座空城。在他看过的那部美国电影中,城市也是空无一人,唯一没有被感染上病毒的主人公,每天傍晚,固定开车到码头,用收音机发出自己的坐标信息。他想找到,跟他一样的同类。突如其来的,心脏绞痛得令他举步维艰,王铮眼前一黑,赶忙手扶住墙壁,他艰难地喘息着,就在此时,身后突然传来一个男声:&ldo;王铮,是你吧,你不是回去了吗?又来了啊?&rdo;那人声音带笑,渐渐走近,嘴里犹自调侃:&ldo;放心不下于萱?没事,她吃过东西就睡了,你来得正好,咱哥俩守岁……&rdo;那人没说完,王铮已经撑不住,整个往地上栽,在倒地的前一刻,被人牢牢从背后抱住,拖着到一旁的塑料长凳上,耳边听得有人焦灼地拍他的脸:&ldo;王铮你怎么了?你没事吧?你等着,我立即去喊医生来,你撑着!&rdo;王铮也不知哪来的力气,伸手一把握住那人的,他叹息地闭上眼,紧紧握住那人的手,这是确凿无疑的活人体温,温暖干燥的手。徐文耀活到三十出头,手被别人紧紧攥着不松开的经验,可谓少之又少。他不喜欢跟人握手,在商务场合不得不为之的时候,他总是用微笑,拍肩膀,客气热情的寒暄来代替,实在不能避免的时候,他也绝对遵循西方人的礼节,两手相触部位不超过三个指节,相碰时间不超过三秒钟,快到对方没留意,整个握手仪式就已然结束。他的交际方法没有任何问题,带着美国式的爽朗和热情,笑起来眼神中必然有直观明白的善意和愉悦,拥抱的时候伸出去的胳膊也格外用力,拍你的后背手劲不弱也不至于过重,在面对女士的时候,也会有种潇洒而慵懒的彬彬有礼。但他厌恶握手到那种程度,在第一次正式跟王铮见面,也是事先看到他手受伤,才假意伸过手去。为什么这么讨厌跟人握手呢?他以前交往过的情人曾经问过这个问题,徐文耀笑嘻嘻地搂着他说:&ldo;看过武侠小说没?知道哪里是脉门不?告诉你,我其实是深藏不露的武林高手,高手嘛,哪有把事关生死的脉门自己个送到别人跟前去?&rdo;曾经的情人当然不信,却是个知情知趣的,立即凑上去轻咬舔吻他的手腕,挑逗说:&ldo;明白了,看来留住你,先得扣住你的脉门。&rdo;这个问题也就这样不了了之,但徐文耀从此留了意,把自己不喜欢握手的怪癖,更深地,不为人知地隐藏起来。后面交往的情人都没有这一位这么敏感和善于观察,也就没人发现他这个特征,再到后来回了国,他忙着扩展事业,来往的再也不是固定伴侣,单纯的床上关系,对方更加不会注意到这一点。但现在,他的手却被王铮,牢牢地,像要强行将什么秘密塞入他手中一样,攥紧,不松开。记忆中已经很多年没人这么拉过自己的手了,差不多有十来年,哪怕是在最亲密的身体接触中,他也拒绝这种行为,哪怕上一秒种,他们双方刚刚经历过一场感觉很棒的性爱,但下一秒,如果对方忘情地想跟他十指紧扣,徐文耀都会陡然一冷,随即不着痕迹的避开去。手的触碰,犹如一道界限,在界限之内,是徐文耀自我训诫得完美无缺的人生,他闪光的魅力,无可挑剔的礼貌,温柔到骨子里的微笑,真挚又恰如其分的体贴。但在界限之外,却是无法想象的行为,他从来也不会跟哪个情人牵手好好走完一段平淡无奇的路,或者约了一道去看场普普通通的电影,或者趁着人多,在大庭广众下偷偷十指紧扣,用这种行为来传达一种同志爱人之间秘而不宣的亲近和悸动。因此,在王铮的手贴上来的瞬间,徐文耀本能想甩开,但在下一刻,他却甩不了,因为在手掌紧贴的时候,他分明感到从王铮手上传来的冰凉和颤抖,犹如台风天被吹上树杈的废弃塑料袋,用尽全力挂在一个枝桠上,簌簌抖动,却舍不得离去。然后,他确乎明白了,从王铮手上传达过来的,是一种恐惧,是人成年后还深深隐藏在内心深处,属于孩童时代的纯粹的恐惧,对黑暗,对自然力,对做错事可能面临的惩罚,对明天的未知。
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