第九章（第1页）
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如沐春风睡到日正中午，我打消泡麵果腹的节俭念头，人之将死吃好一点，做人吶别再
老是不见棺材不掉泪，何况都一脚踏进了，那还不赶紧即时行乐？抓住宝贵的生命尾声。
我走进一家简餐店，点了份极致奢华的总匯套餐，和一杯贵得要命的拿铁咖啡，坐在蓬
松柔软的沙发上……报警处理。
嘟……嘟……
系统忙线中。
我超级无言……
好啦其实还好。
问我为什么？
明知有歹徒即将行抢还硬要入内用餐？
加减抵抗囉，哪怕只有一次也好，我真想打脸紫园老师，打到头破血流！
「大钞收起来。」
「先生不好意思，您不能进到柜檯里……」
「抱歉是我不对，但请相信我说的话，有歹徒准备衝进来抢劫了。」
「您再不离开我要报警囉。」
「那真是太好了，虽然有点来不及，不过还是有机会。」
我回到位置上愜意地翻起“堕天使的华丽诅咒”，戴着耳机假装听歌，像个文青一样气
质爆炸，继续探讨会是怎样的曲折离奇，然后不优雅地多塞几口丰盛餐点，因为再
不吞就没机会了。
喔喔喔，原来是个误会啊，我的手掌并不会被斩断，虽然紫园老师开的玩笑很低级，但
总归来讲是为了戏剧张力，设想一下，如果今天是我执笔……应该也会尝试钓钓读者们的胃
口，说不定会非常有趣。
怎么……越来越像演员在背剧本？
难得的好消息让人受宠若惊，实话讲心情舒畅一点，信心度也增加不少。
但我发现又来了，秘笈里的金澄舞并没有在阅读秘笈里的金澄舞，废话因为他根本没有
，昨天在乡岗书店看到时……里头没有叙述金澄舞得知会公佈自己的手掌安
然无恙，就跟在流行服饰店一模一样，这类现实剧情是没有撰写在秘笈里的。
现在，好可怜啊秘笈里的金澄舞，你要等到才会知道这条喜讯，“堕天
使的华丽诅咒”总算是发挥它的潜在功劳……那叫提前安慰。
靠杯又不对，秘笈里的金澄舞在时啥都不晓得，要演到才会知道自己的手
掌将被剁掉，如此一来反倒是拥有秘笈的我提前在接受噩耗。
呵呵呵呵我操你妈。
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