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见他的亲朋好友把整个房间堵得水泄不通,我压低声音和病人家属说:&ldo;让他们先去走廊吧,病人需要安静。&rdo;人陆陆续续离开,我让护士再给他注射一些止疼药,我不确定病人的听力如何,贴在他的耳边告诉他:&ldo;这是美国最新的抗癌药,很有效。&rdo;他安静下来,哀求地看着我。&ldo;再坚持一下,明天给你安排了二次手术,我们请了国内最权威的专家……&rdo;他点头,用干枯的手抓住我的手腕。我知道我救不了他,唯一能帮他的就是陪着他,给他一点希望,陪他度过生命中最后一个安静的黑夜。一小时后,病人呼气渐渐困难,竭尽全力吸着氧气。我笑着安慰他。&ldo;别紧张。我爸爸三年前也得了癌症,淋巴癌,癌症里最易扩散的一种……他曾说,他最大的遗憾就是看不见我嫁人……现在,他还健健康康地活着……等着抱白白胖胖的外孙……癌症不是不治之症,你千万别放弃。&rdo;他努力地呼吸,由始至终都在坚持。发现病人心跳微弱,我对护士大喊。&ldo;强心针!&rdo;&ldo;薄医生?&rdo;&ldo;去拿!&rdo;明知这一切不过是徒劳,我还是想尽自己最后的努力,为他们多争取一秒……他扣紧我的手腕,眼睛绝望地睁大,我拿下他脸上的氧气罩。&ldo;你还有什么话想说吗?&rdo;他点点头,看着他快要哭休克的妻子,他说了两个字,是他女儿的名字,非常清晰。他走了,他的妻子再也哭不出来,坐在地上喃喃念着:&ldo;我怎么办?我以后怎么办……&rdo;这个问题我听过无数次,答案只有一个:&ldo;为了父母,为了孩子,还得活着,好好活。&rdo;也许艰难,也许困苦,比起许多死去的人,我们至少还活着!情绪低落到极点,我疲惫地走出病房,刚好听见两个小护士在八卦。&ldo;你说哪个帅哥?我怎么没见到?&rdo;&ldo;就是站在走廊的那个,特别帅,特别酷,比印秘书酷多了……&rdo;另一个小护士满脸荡漾。&ldo;那个眼神啊……&rdo;我不知道该说些什么。见过太多生离死别的她们已经麻木,大概过段日子我也会麻木,所以我不想责怪她们什么。&ldo;是么?我光在里面忙了。&rdo;小护士语气幽怨。另一个送药的回来,一听到这个话题,马上介入。&ldo;你们说七号病房外的男人吧?太有型了,他是不是病人的同事?&rdo;&ldo;不是,他来找……&rdo;她的话说了一半,一看见满脸寒意的我立刻噤声:&ldo;薄医生。&rdo;&ldo;嗯。&rdo;我点点头,尽量让自己的语气平静。&ldo;还没交班吗?&rdo;&ldo;一会儿交。&rdo;小护士犹疑了一下,似乎有什么话想问我,又不好意思开口。我一夜未睡,头昏脑胀,也无心跟她们闲聊,匆匆换了衣服走出医院大门。胸口憋得透不过气,我很想哭,可是哭不出来……三年了,从我离开大阪,我再也哭不出来了。我坐进车里,摇下玻璃窗,努力地吸气,让充足的氧气舒缓内心的窒息感。本想靠在椅背上休息一下,一闭上眼就睡着了。梦里,有个人牢牢扣住我的手腕,我看不清他的脸,只能听见一声声细碎的呼唤:&ldo;丫头……丫头……&rdo;我难过得手都在发抖,想挣脱,又动不了。委屈和郁闷堆积到了极限,宣泄而出,我哭了,眼泪大滴大滴往下掉,所有的郁闷都释放出来。醒来后,我伸手摸摸湿润的眼睛,冰凉的订婚戒指差点划伤眼睛。我又摸摸手腕上病人留下的勒痕……猛然想起一件重要的事。二周前,有位病人家属情绪失控,把我推倒,手表刚好撞在铁架上,表壳撞碎了。我拿去修表店,店里人说机芯也撞坏了,他们没有配件,让我找海鸥厂商的售后。我又拿去专柜,店员一见十分惊讶,一再表明没卖过这款表。我告诉她这表对我很重要,只要能修好,多少钱都无所谓。她打电话问了厂家,厂家的人让拿回去验验,她让我半个月后过来取。一想起那块表,我片刻都等不了,开车驶向某商场的方向。

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