这是第几条鱼了(第1页)
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同事群里正在参与、又或者是围观审判官进行养崽求教的人全都出离愤怒了。
——她都那么大了,应该有自理能力了吧。
我的妈审判官你说的这是人话吗?
你有心吗?!
同事甲愤怒道:“审判官,那还是个孩子,不,那甚至只能说是个宝宝!才六个月大的婴儿,您指望她有自理能力吗?!”
同事乙强调说:“小宝宝非常脆弱,是要好好呵护才行的,您怎么能这么敷衍了事?小宝宝的父母把孩子托付给您,那就是信得过您,您这么做对得起他们吗?!”
同事丙已经是两个孩子的妈妈,问的更加详细具体:“审判官,小宝宝是刚到您家吗?昨天晚上你们是分开睡的?她各项体征都正常吗,有没有尿床?”
审判官:“……”
审判官沉默许久,将他们的批评一一听进耳朵里,这才回答说:“昨天刚到,分开睡的,至于有没有尿床……应该没有吧。”
同事丙气笑了:“什么叫应该没有?您喂奶的时候没顺便看看吗?”
“……”审判官:“男女有别,不合适吧。”
“……”同事丙:“?????”
我的妈看把你给纯情的!
同事丙平复了一下心口郁气,暂时把这一茬给搁下,又问:“快六个月的宝宝可以吃辅食了吧?您没准备点果泥、蔬菜泥什么的喂她吗?”
“啊?”审判官诧异道:“她还需要吃果泥和蔬菜泥吗?”
“……”同事丙:“?????”
同事丙满头问号,说:“那小宝宝到了您家之后都吃什么了?就只喝奶粉吗?”
审判官:“我吃什么,她就吃什么。”
“……”同事丙:“?????”
“阿西吧!”
同事丙忍无可忍,飙道:“麻烦您把语音通话打开,再把手机声音调大,我想骂您几句,谢谢。”
审判官:“……”
审判官被他们说的心头沉重,自觉理亏,沉默着打开了语音通话。
“您是疯了吗?您引以为傲的智慧和理智呢?那还是个小宝宝,是要好好呵护的,人家父母把孩子托费给您,您就这么敷衍对待?!”
同事丙痛心疾,说:“小宝宝是很脆弱的,她需要陪伴和关怀,一天二十四小时离不开人照顾,您怎么能让她一个人在次卧呆一晚上?!让一个肠胃都没育完全的小宝宝跟您吃同样的食物?!还有,您没有请假吧,等周一上班,小宝宝谁来照顾?!”
审判官闷声道:“我原本是打算给她找点事情做,消磨时间的。”
“……”同事丙:“?????”
“我的妈——您说的这是人话吗?!”
同事丙愤怒道:“到底要我说多少遍才行?那是个小宝宝,小宝宝!她没有自理能力,身边不能离开人!”
审判官低着头,少见的萎靡起来:“我知道了。”
“还有,饮食上一定要注意,”同事丙抓狂道:“所以说您为什么要给她吃您的食物啊!”
审判官:“我感觉她消化系统应该已经育完善了。”
“……”同事丙:“?????”
同事丙黑人问号:“是什么让您产生了这样错觉?”
审判官:“……”
审判官梗了半分钟,说:“因为她的家人体质都挺好的。”
“……”同事丙:“?????”
您在放什么屁呢!
同事丙跟这个上司共事多年,头一次现他居然会这么不靠谱,写了份育儿心得给他过去,苦口婆心道:“小宝宝喜欢睡觉是正常的,等她醒了再喂奶就好了,这么小的孩子忽然间离开了父母,肯定是会想的,您有空就多陪陪她,跟她说说话,亲亲抱抱,她会喜欢您的……”
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