第十六章 林燕(第1页)
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在林冰眼里,林燕是个多愁善感的女孩。她出色,漂亮,温柔,腼腆,内敛,可对人却淳朴,热情。林燕记事起,就是母亲一个人带着她。她记忆中的父亲很模糊,她不知道母亲是怎样和母亲分开的。
母亲总跟林燕灌输,男人如何如何坏,总是讲述一些事例让女儿知道,男人怎样引诱漂亮女人,让漂亮女人吃亏上当,最后被抛弃的那种惨谈故事。特别是林燕考上大学后,母亲拿了《安娜·卡列尼娜》给她看。林燕看完后,母亲和她讨论了对主人公的看法。母亲告诉林燕,安娜的惨死是因为她完全相信渥伦斯基的爱,把渥伦斯基的爱当做她生活的全部。失去了渥伦斯基的爱,她就觉得失去了一切,甚至整个世界。没有渥伦斯基的爱,她就觉得没法活了。她从小总是语重心长地对林燕讲:“女人要自强,自尊自立,漂亮并不是女人在世界上立足的根本,女人要靠自己而活,不能依赖男人,否则会活得很惨,很没有尊严,很没有自我。女人第一步要走好,否则步步错,就像一盘棋,第一步很重要。“林燕看着母亲,接受了母亲的观点。她还拿来《简爱》给林燕看,和林燕探讨,女人应该怎样活在这个世界上?她希望林燕向女主人公学习,自强,自立,自尊自爱。活出女人的尊严和精彩。
林燕高中时,母亲就为女儿设定了人生之路。当时,林燕想当电影明星,想考电影学院。但母亲否定了她的愿望,不准她考。并让她放弃了一次部队歌舞团录取林燕的机会。她希望林燕报考师范院校。她对林燕说,当老师虽然默默无闻,但教师这种职业受人尊重,又没什么风险,一辈子稳稳当当。又不需要在外面风吹日晒。母亲觉得搞艺术的人,年轻是很风光,但是吃青春饭,青春饭能吃几年?再说艺术圈内也也不是那么好混,漂亮的女孩抛头露面,虽然外表风光,少不了吃亏被骗。再说出名的能有几人?不可能个个都是巩俐。林燕不喜欢当老师。她和母亲抗争了一段时间,但最终还是顺从了母亲。林燕很怕母亲伤心,流泪。因为她觉得母亲是多么不容易。母亲年轻时就是小有名气的舞蹈演员,在外面,林燕,觉得母亲是那样漂亮风光,可回到家里就只有她们母女二人相依为命。林燕小时候,睡醒一大觉,睁开眼睛,却看见母亲看着窗外伤心流泪。她从小养成了乖巧,可人的性格,很让母亲宽慰。另外,她从小也很爱读书,成绩总是很优秀。后来考上了大学。
大学里,追求林燕的男孩排成队,但林燕对他们,从不透露心迹。她既不拒绝伤害他们,又和他们保持一定的距离。都说:”哪个少男不善钟情,哪个少女不善怀春。“但林燕不想随便和人谈恋爱。她不想玩弄自己和别人的感情。她觉得姑娘应该矜持,自尊,自重,以学业为重。她不喜欢为了寻找刺激,就随便和男孩谈恋爱的女孩。她是大学里的校花,对于追求她的男孩,她从不单独和他们看电影,吃饭,逛马路。和他们相处总是把持得很有度。她长得漂亮,但她并没有高傲,拒人于千里之外,变得孤芳自赏。她对每个人都笑脸相迎。凡是学校举行晚会,舞会上,她常常是公主,她的舞姿是那样的婀娜多姿。她身上遗传有舞蹈的天分和素质。在舞会上是那么的耀眼夺目。惹得多少男孩对她仰慕。靳强就是她的仰慕者,在学校里就一直追她。靳强能力,学识,谈吐等都是配得上她的,他们两个,许多人都认为男才女貌。大学里,仰慕靳强的女孩也很多,但靳强只钟情于林燕,但林燕对靳强不冷不热,后来又一起到了凌云中学。
如果说李屏是辣而有味,后劲十足的高粱酒,林燕就是甘甜可口,令人回味的葡萄酒。如果说李屏是那夏天的烈日,林燕就是春天和煦温暖的一缕阳光。她们都是那么有魅力的姑娘。在凌云中学时,林冰总在想,她身边的姑娘王云,李屏,林燕,这些优秀的姑娘,将来和他们共度终生的男子会是谁呢?她们会得到心目中美好的爱情吗?
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