第174节(第1页)
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弘凌抬眸,隔着距离与桌案与锦月相视,只锦月与他目光相触的瞬间就如火花击打,立时垂下了眼帘。
她柔顺的站在那儿,可却不由他主宰摆布。弘凌掐着毛笔的手指尖白似雪,可他却一点痛感也感受不到,不由更觉挫败无力。
“我想去清居寺,削发为尼,皈依佛门。”
“出家。”
锦月轻点头,不敢抬目。
“你想永诀红尘。”
她再点头。
“朕可以在宫里给你修一座佛堂,铸佛像金身,你一样可以皈依,不必去清居寺那等荒山野岭。”
弘凌冷淡说,仿佛并不在意,可却暗含一种坚持,那是一种被“隐忍”削弱之后不经意流露的情绪。
“皇宫富贵荣华,不适合修行,我不想留在这里。”
“你不想留在这里不是因为富贵荣华,是因为朕吧!”
弘凌语气陡然加重,惊得锦月立刻抬眼,便与他深邃如黢黑寒潭的眼睛对上。
“皇上正好将我看厌,如此……不正好吗?”
“……”弘凌含怒的眼光缠绵在锦月脸上,想将这张脸看穿、看透,每一丝每一豪都不放过!可,他终究不是神明。“朕若不许你走呢?”
锦月侧开脸。“弘凌,你知道,我想做的事便一定要做,我下的决定不会改变。”
“我们的孩子,你也不管了吗?小黎和小桓……”
“这也是我今天来找你的目的。”锦月竭力忍住心中不舍,“我为了孩子辜负了弘允很多年,虽然我是他妻子,却从未尽过一日为妻的义务、责任。而今孩子稍稍大了,你也身在高位能够护他们周全了,弘凌……”
锦月透过泪光看那闪烁着天子华彩的男人,他俊美如初,冷漠更甚,睥睨俯视她。
锦月望着弘凌屈膝跪下去:“今生我求过你一次,那是三年前我求你让我出宫,你没有应我。而今,我再次也是最后一次求你,照顾好小黎和小桓,放我……放我走吧。”
弘凌剧烈咳嗽起来,扶着桌案几乎不能自已。
锦月额头贴在地上,听那咳嗽,声声刺心,不觉攥紧了拳头。
不能抬头,不能心软。他是天子,有江山,有大好前程,还有偌大的后宫,可以有无数的女子为他前仆后继,不独缺自己一个。他已将自己腻烦,她还留在宫中做什么呢……
弘凌终于停下来,喘息指着锦月:“说到底,你还是为了他!为了他你皈依佛门,是觉得他死状凄惨、怕他下地狱受苦,想用下半辈子为他诵经求福,是不是!”
“……是。”
锦月忍住哽咽,让声音平静。占卜说,惨死的人怨气深重、难以安宁,她这一生欠弘允太多,诵经求福是她唯一能做的了。皈依佛门,是为此。为弘允,为映玉,让他们早些瞑目。
“是,好一个‘是’!”弘凌暴怒,挥袖满桌的笔墨纸砚洒了一地,极是骇人。“滚,你滚!”
弘凌踉踉跄跄,他又会武,挥臂带风四下噼里啪啦一阵碎裂声,锦月有些害怕,愣在哪里不知所措。
“朕让你滚!”
曹全在外听见动静,赶忙进来拉锦月走。“娘娘快走吧,别在这儿惹陛下生气了,快走吧……”
锦月被曹全拉出门,而后宣室殿的门砰声关上。锦月想使劲将门推开,手刚触及门扇便听门缝传来——
“尉迟锦月,朕永远……永远不想再见你!”
手,便再下不去了。
他再不想见她,何必再推门进去。锦月缓缓放下手,缓缓转身朝向宣室殿大门。
前面,是一片暖阳,背后的宫阙,却阴冷得仿佛永远走不出冬天、走不进温暖。
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