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陆小凤嘿然，&ldo;我倒是敢，你敢么，叫我世叔前不得先叫你么？&rdo;司空摘星被噎了一下，瞪他一眼。陆少舟就着这俩基佬打情骂俏咽饭，足足吃了三大碗，然后凸着肚子挺尸。陆小凤摸了摸他已经长出一些的胡子，&ldo;啧啧，吃的够多的啊。&rdo;陆少舟艰难的坐起来喝了口水，&ldo;饿坏我了，我这长身体呢，陆小凤，你们帮我想个办法啊，我不想再听我伯母们念叨了，我娘就是这么教我的，反正我不是也不是真的女孩么，学那些做什么，西门吹雪又不是不知道，我要真的端着走，西门吹雪才……啥啥吧。&rdo;司空摘星道：&ldo;这容易！我给你下个药，症状就是腿软，任什么大夫也治不好，一直软到婚礼。&rdo;陆少舟摇头，&ldo;这什么主意，西门吹雪就快回来了，你瞒得过他么。&rdo;司空摘星道：&ldo;也是，不如你直接让西门吹雪去和你伯母说？&rdo;陆少舟犹疑道：&ldo;这样行么？&rdo;陆小凤笑道：&ldo;为什么不行？&rdo;陆少舟想了一下，&ldo;说的倒也是……&rdo;还是剑神给他留下的印象太威严了，有种要去和教导主任说&ldo;麻烦帮我瞒一下班主任我想逃课&rdo;的感觉……想好了怎么逃课的陆少舟心情很好，随即感觉肚子一阵闹腾，他头皮发麻，&ldo;这饭有问题么，我怎么感觉要拉肚子了……&rdo;陆小凤看了看那剩饭，&ldo;也说不定是你肠子太短了呢，刚进去就要出来了。&rdo;陆少舟跳起来，内八字夹紧菊花，囧脸相对，&ldo;我、我去下茅厕！&rdo;说着他抓起一卷纸就往茅厕跑，相信拉过肚子的人都有体会，肚子凉飕飕的，一阵一阵的疼，菊花简直要阻止不住那喷涌而出的热情……这一刻，你真的痛不欲生。而蹲在古代的原始茅厕里，在你站了一上午腿都发麻，还要扛着一柄剑时，你真的会有晕眩的感觉，仿佛下一秒就要倒在蹲位下面……陆少舟用剑抵着门，撑着上半身，拉得都要虚脱了。脆弱的菊花几乎要经不起再一次摧残（……？），他想稍微起一下身，直直腿，结果眼前一黑幸好扶住木质隔板，然后就听&ldo;叮&rdo;的一声，剑掉在地上了。陆少舟脸一白，赶紧把剑捡起，心虚的想就这么一会儿，应该没事吧？他一边安慰自己一边掏纸擦菊花，掏了半天也没掏到，低头一看，那卷纸已经坠入了粪坑……&ldo;=口=！！！&rdo;……这世界上最倒霉的事是什么！就是这了！上厕所只有调料包算什么啊至少你还有调料包他这连调料包都没有了啊！这到底哪个作者的怨气尼玛也太碉堡了，难道是一直更新不起还是收益抽成零了？就这么几秒就惨成这样，他要多离这剑久一点是不是直接换他整个人掉坑里了？那个作者你熊的，不但挖坑坑读者，还坑人手纸……这要怎么叫人呢，大声喊陆小凤我手纸掉了麻烦给我送一下？陆小凤听不听得到是两说，但是让其他人听到他就可以自绝以谢西门剑神了。陆少舟苦逼着脸，发现自己全身上下只有剑，难道要……不行！虽然原著里没有说西门剑神鼻子灵不灵，但万一，万一他的鼻子很灵闻出了剑上的味道呢？陆少舟脑补半天，结论是一道剑光。怎么办？陆少舟冷汗直冒，看了看自己身上的衣衫，冒出一个念头，把衣服给撕一块下来用着……好办法！他揪着衣摆开始撕‐‐撕‐‐靠！你妹的古装剧又骗人！衣服哪里是那么好撕的！要不就是万梅山庄提供的衣服质量太好，要不就是他拉肚子把力气拉光了，总之这布怎么也撕不下，狭小的空间更是抽不开剑。陆少舟绝望了，目光移向隔板，这茅厕都是一间一间，用木板隔开的，就和电视剧里差不多，他不抱希望的敲了敲木板，&ldo;隔壁有人么？&rdo;半天，就在陆少舟失望之时，那边在沉默半晌后轻轻回敲了一下。陆少舟狂喜，隔壁有人！他咳嗽一声，压低嗓门道：&ldo;嘿，哥们儿，江湖救急，我刚才一不小心纸给掉坑里了，你有纸不？借点儿啊。&rdo;那边又是沉默半天，比第一回沉默的更久，然后一卷纸从木板上方缓缓递过来……这是哪来的活雷锋红领巾，手还挺白，就是反应慢了点，但陆少舟还是感动死了，赶紧接过纸，&ldo;谢了哥们儿，你纸还够用吧？&rdo;
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