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&ldo;你永远的闺蜜。&rdo;宋若谷悠悠说道。一想到史路这厮在我最需要他的时候竟然在千里之外和别人大吃大喝，我就打算给他点教训。我把一个黑色的大蜘蛛放在他公寓的门上，这蜘蛛虽然是仿造的，却极其逼真，连腿上的绒毛都有。门是木黄色的，所以蜘蛛看起来特别显眼，保证只要不是瞎子就不会错过。做完这些，我就坐着宋若谷的车去西客站了。也不知道宋若谷从哪里弄这么一骚包的车。火红色的跑车，线条优美，像个身材火辣的大美女。这车还是还敞篷的。作为无产阶级人民我当然看不惯这么高调的炫富，于是我抱着胳膊站在车前，故意问道：&ldo;这种车要是下雨怎么办？打伞吗？&rdo;&ldo;打伞？你太落伍了，&rdo;宋若谷帮我开车门，&ldo;下雨时它会变身。&rdo;&ldo;……&rdo;在西站逗留了没多久，史路就出来了。这小子的眼睛也不知道是不是在太上老君的炼丹炉里烤过，老远就看到了我们，拉着旅行箱就冲过来。可怜的旅行箱两个小滑轮几乎成了风火轮。史路一下子抱住我，&ldo;纪然！想哥了没！&rdo;宋若谷奋力地掰开我们俩，挤到中间。史路不满地揉着胳膊，看他，&ldo;你哪位？&rdo;我估计不用我介绍，这俩人应该是互相知道的，史路这么一问，也就是故意表达一下不满。宋若谷答得老实，&ldo;我是纪然的男朋友。&rdo;&ldo;嗯，就那个临时工对吧。&rdo;史路的毒舌buff又加上了。&ldo;我知道你，你是纪然的好姐妹。&rdo;&ldo;……&rdo;史路看我的眼神立刻幽怨了。回去的一路上我都在使出浑身解数来活跃气氛。当然，史路这人没心没肺的，随便撩拨几句就能让他滔滔不绝地讲下去，等他给我讲到他和网友度过的第七个精彩夜晚时，我们到了他公寓楼下。见证奇迹的时刻到了！我拖着他迫不及待地上楼。&ldo;嗷嗷嗷嗷嗷！！！！！&rdo;史路的惨叫声高亢而嘹亮，实在让人有报警的冲动。他在我还没反应过来时已经一扭身扎进我的怀里，双手揽住我的脖子，身体横在我面前，双腿借力往上抬。我……我被他这一连串流畅到不要脸的动作引导着，条件反射地抱住了他。这就是我人生中的第一次公主抱。所以说偶像剧中那些浪漫的拥抱至多能称之为&ldo;抱公主&rdo;，只有我这个才算是纯粹的、公、主、抱！哈哈，哈哈哈哈哈……宋若谷本来跟在我们身后一直保持着高贵的面瘫样，现在，他终于面瘫不下去了。他无力地看着我们。我背对着门，冲着宋若谷笑：&ldo;拍张照片吧。&rdo;如此历史性的一刻。于是这个画面就被宋若谷记录了下来。脸色青白的男人被笑容诡异的女人横抱着，身后的门上趴着一只巨大的黑色蜘蛛，这色调，这气氛，基本上可以直接拿去当做邪教组织的宣传海报了。这场恶作剧的后果之一是史路拒绝为我们做饭，理由是他吓得腿软了，站都站不稳。我只好把他的旅行箱打开，里面能吃的东西倒是不少。史路悲痛欲绝地看着我和宋若谷吃吃喝喝，他咬牙切齿地说道：&ldo;狗、男、女！&rdo;宋若谷竟然笑了。他指指史路，再指指自己，最后指了指我，&ldo;嗯，不错，很准确。&rdo;史路：&ldo;……&rdo;2史路被吓得不轻。他以做恶梦为由，强迫我在他每天晚上睡觉前给他读睡前故事，俨然我就是他亲妈。我知道他这是想整我，但是我把他弄成这样心中也有那么一丢丢负罪感，咱毕竟是有良知的人，当然了重要的是我还要从他那里拿个旧手机。因此我欣然答应他的幼稚要求，捧着本《追忆似水年华》给他读。你还别说，这本书它真挺催眠的。不知道史路感觉怎么样，反正我是每天回到寝室倒头就睡。宋若谷也不知道吃错了什么药，坚持每天晚上准时来接我。有一次我实在抵抗不住名著的魅力，读着读着趴在史路的床前睡着了，宋若谷的电话都没吵醒我，结果这小子竟然闯进来把我背了出去。我趴在他背上，还是有点迷迷糊糊，&ldo;怎么了。&rdo;
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