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说到底,许大立是没自信的,从小靠著点小聪明胡混,书没念好文凭也没拿到,进了黑社会也只在底层打滚,再加上坐牢那两年被当做女人洩欲用,仅存的男人自尊也就跟著没了。一间屋子四隻眼都紧盯自己,许大个的嘴开了又闭上,闭上又打开,最后总算是整理好词彙:「大立,嗯,我没那样想。」想了想,似乎觉得太过精简,他又补上一句:「你好,是我弟弟,你不好,也是我弟弟。」突然间,许大立可耻的觉得眼角发酸了,他回想起很久很久以前,真的是很久以前,许大立大约还是小学低年级的时候,有一次他在学校干了坏事,被许爸打得很惨。只比他大上两岁的许大个衝过来护住他,也跟著被气昏头的许爸胖揍了好几拳。后来大哥许大志笑许大个说,干什么没事帮他挨揍,做坏事的是许大立又不是他。许大个憨笑了两下,说,他是我弟。小时候的许大立不瞭解许大个的意思,只觉得,我是你弟,我就不是大哥的弟了吗?现在的许大立还是觉得,许大个那词不达意的工夫,不是普通的高。但莫名的,眼角,就是发酸了。「嗯……我知道了,哥。」低下头,许大立偷偷的把眼中的那个什么给眨掉,这种脸他丢不得,就算是在哥哥面前。看到兄弟合好,许小兵总算是鬆了一口气,揉著他发酸的小腰去帮大家煮早餐去。吃完饭,许大立跟著许大个去了果园,这才又提起早上的事。许大立主动提到,是许大志跟他说的,反正这也不算是冤枉他,事实就是如此。然后许大个沉默了,这事说到头来,最不应该的是他自己。看著沉默的二哥的背影,突然间许大立觉得他可以放开了。「哥,你知道吗?」许大立淡淡的说:「在我坐牢的那两年,被人当女人干过好几次。」许大个倒抽一口气,原本口拙的他当然不知在这种时候要说什么。许大立也不在意,就在许大个的沉默中继续说:「其实在狱中这也不算什么吧,我被人干过,也干过别人,那些不过都是各取所需罢了。「所以我一开始听到大哥说,你和小兵之间的事时,我也是想说,这么多年家裡没女人在,你把小兵当做对象,也不奇怪。「但是昨晚我看到你和小兵在床上的时候,又觉得好像不是那么一回事。「这样说实在很奇怪,怎么说……好像,那只是父子关系的延长,只不过……比起一般父子,还要更加亲密而已。」许大立转头看向许大个,果不其然看到许大个已经陷入一堆问号中,也是,许大立自己都觉得讲得肢离破碎的,又怎么能期待脑子构造一直线的许大个会听懂他想表达什么。重新想了一下,许大立决定把他要说的事情给单纯化:「简单说起来,就是,你睡你亲儿子也好,不睡你亲儿子也好,你都是我哥。」这句话许大立是笑著说的。过了几秒,消化完这句话后,许大个也跟著笑了,那笑容,特憨,特傻,却带著一抹如释重负的轻鬆。就如同许大立弯弯绕绕的人生,走到哪儿回过头,许大个都在他身后一样。许大个知道,许大立也会在他身后。乱伦爱13by饭饭粥粥许小兵觉得最近的日子过得挺舒适的。第一,许小军随著年纪越来越懂事了,虽然他现在还是小小孩,但总比娃娃好带的多,至少讲国语也能通了,让许小兵轻鬆不少。第二,随著忙季的过去,许大个也没那么早出晚归,有时甚至比许小兵还晚出门,下午更是一、两点忙完就回家,能帮忙做家事也能帮忙带许小军,总算是让许小兵从老妈子的岗位上解脱了。只不过,相对清閒下来后,不知为什么,伯伯与叔叔变得更常来访了。伯伯指的是许大个的哥哥,许大志。目前在城裡做个工地主管,以往他顶多只有在忙季过来帮忙,但今年冬天他一个月就会来个两、三次,一次停留时间不一定,有时住一晚就走,有时待了快一个礼拜。叔叔则是许大个的弟弟,许大立。他住在另一个山头,从那头过来距离虽然不是很远,但因为交通工具不方便,每来一次就得转三趟车,所以以往许大立不太常来,但今年淡季,他一个月会来上至少一次,而且一次就住上七天十天的,甚至久一点时还会有半个月都住在许家。
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