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陈婉见他不明白，又重复一遍，&ldo;我弟弟的电脑是你送的？&rdo;他含糊地应了声。陈婉心神一颤，继续问说：&ldo;年中是你帮忙，放了我舅舅？&rdo;他像是清醒了几分，&ldo;我也不想，可看你着急我难受。猫儿，别怪我多事，以后你不乐意的我不做，你爱做什么我帮你。不要不理我就行。不要不要我就行。&rdo;&ldo;蒋小薇呢？你们还在一起？蒋盼不是你的孩子是不是？我猜不是的。&rdo;秦昊嗫嚅着嘴，眼神迷惘，似乎是在极力回想。&ldo;那谁？很久没见过了。猫儿，膈应到你了是不是？如果知道能遇见你，我……&rdo;&ldo;那贺疯子……&rdo;她未说完，他再次埋住脸，低声喃喃。腹部是他的呼吸，炽烈灼人。陈婉拨开他头发，却被他抓住手。她怔怔地由着他死死握着，心中恻痛。这无法羁绊的感qg，不堪折磨的感qg，令自己自厌自弃的感qg，沉重得难以负荷的感qg……肆nuè了一夜的北风在清晨结束，可温度似乎更低了些，空气清冷gān燥。陈婉披衣起chuáng时，秦昊稍稍侧了侧身。临急塞了个枕头过去，马上被他裹进怀里。她不由有些好笑，抿着嘴看了半晌他眉舒安然的睡相，恍然间又感觉方才滑过心中的那抹尘埃落定后的满足感很是无稽。悄无声息地走进厨房，以往被啤酒占据的双门冰箱里摆满了食材和零嘴，她手指一一拂过，想象他单独去买这些东西时的表qg和心qg。恒久以来，脑海里充斥的是噩梦般的记忆，心底满溢的是怨毒与忿恨，眼里是不甘心与决绝，她已经忘怀以喜悦的眼睛看世界的感觉。不是没有感动的时候，可她回避着那种牵扣，故意忽视他的努力与善意，放任自己沉湎在仇恨里，辗转不休。或者她与他不象电影小说叙述的那样如诗如梦般的美，或者边走边痛、最终一路步向深渊，可胸臆间那团莫名的火苗已经燃起，沉沉静烧着，似乎下一秒便将燎原。橘色的灯光，暖烘烘的炉火，香米粥汩汩地冒着ru白的泡，她捧着热乎乎的牛奶，心底再一次升起奇异的满足与浅浅的快乐。秦昊进来时，她正在将焯水蒸熟的海带切丝。停了刀，四目jiāo投，几乎溺进彼此的眸中。他别开脸望向翻滚的粥，想问什么终是qiáng忍住，走过来蹲下挽起她裤脚，细细观察了一会说：&ldo;象是有些感染了。你要买东西怎么不叫醒我？跑来跑去的，什么时候能好？&rdo;依然是以往不容违逆的语气，她。他们就是对方的椅子和饭。&rdo;她语带憧憬，&ldo;从小到大都有叔叔阿姨赞我长得好，成绩好，说我一定能出息。可我真没什么企图心。我要的也就只是一把椅子和一碗饭而已。你问我，怎么让我开心？你给的从来不是我要的。&rdo;秦昊不发一言，细细回味着，许久之后才无声一笑，笑完又是沉默。他这二十多年恣肆放纵无拘束，尽可能地不去背负什么承担什么。可她在心里的份量逾趋沉重，沉重处却又匪夷所思地柔软，无法割舍，无力抵抗。&ldo;猫儿，让我试试。我不确定能不能做到你的椅子，给个机会让我试试。&rdo;她侧头想想，不知是在审视他还是在审视自己的内心。&ldo;好，我们试试。&rdo;chun节时，秦昊照例回京。他期待陈婉与他同行，&ldo;陪我回去看看老太爷，住上两天我再送你回来。放心，我爷爷比谁都好相处，再一听到你济城口音，想起我奶奶，不知会喜欢你到什么程度。&rdo;陈婉头皮发麻，敬谢不敏。秦昊还要再劝，陈婉拒绝说：&ldo;你自己答应过我的，我不乐意的不会勉qiáng。记得吗？尊重！尊重！&rdo;，他之前设想的种种威bi利诱在那两声振聋发聩的&ldo;尊重&rdo;里不战而溃，ji啄米似的频频点头：&ldo;尊重，尊重。那我尊了你，你啥时候重重我？&rdo;陈婉乜他一眼，没好气说：&ldo;你省点俏皮话。&rdo;他独处时总在揣摩那似怒似嗔的一眼。记得某年夏天，在她家那灰蒙蒙的饭馆子里喝着劣质的茶水，端详她静坐捋发的模样，也是被她这么乜过来。眼神清冽如冰，盛夏里凉得他一悚。可现在这三九天里，回味着与往昔不同的神qg，暖得周身毛孔松散。老太爷不乏赞许地说他比以往沉稳了，言下颇有些感喟。秦昊自己明白是因为什么。对于未来，他越来越明确。他比以往任何时候都清楚自己想要的是什么，幸福是什么。在他心里，她就是他小心呵护守候的疆土。因为确定，故此沉着。&ldo;你笑眯眯地想什么来着？&rdo;吴乐雅五指张开在他眼前晃晃。秦昊答应过陈婉初二就回，却被他妈勒令多留几天，本就不耐。吴乐雅坚持要一起回济城，他更是黑了脸。&ldo;你也老大不小的了，天天念着玩？&rdo;她比陈婉还大几岁，论起斯文娴静差的多了去了。&ldo;一年学费加生活费几万英镑，你也不替你爸想想。老老实实早点回去读完你的硕士不行？&rdo;
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