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齐睿……实在没有心情应付她……【私语】:古有五道杠小大人队长,仅有两道杠怀孕男齐睿。五道杠很郁闷,因为不断对其围追堵截并进行活体解剖的媒体记者;齐睿也很郁闷,因为本该跷二郎腿,听歌把美眉的他肚子里多出的那块ròu……作者有话要说:有冲动3更,想想算了28、sile28…【题记】:本章故事纯属虚构,如有雷同,绝非巧合。没有做过女人的人是不会理解女人的,做女人的确很难,漂亮点吧,太晃眼睛;不漂亮吧,拿出来寒碜;学问高了,没人敢娶;学问低了,没人想要;精明一点吧,男人怕你;糊涂一点吧,男人欺你;活泼点吧,说你招蜂引蝶;矜持点吧,说你装腔作势;会打扮,说你是妖精;不会打扮,说你没女人味。而做过女人的非典型性纯爷们儿齐睿靠着他那可以并排驶过两条高速路的宽广神经,愣是把自己从年轻时赵丽蓉老师的清秀,一下拔高到了汉宫飞燕的纯氧气美女的无限崇高境界。【私语:我擦,齐大爷,你自我感觉也太过良好了吧,你当你和芙蓉比s――输了,和凤姐比同北京猿人攀亲戚――毙了,和小月月比占地面积――倒了,你就是第一美女了,告诉你,就算私语答应,光大三八妇女同志都不同意,没见一个个正磨刀霍霍向猪齐吗!】【齐睿:撩起我风骚的头发,飘柔,就是这么自信……哎呀,谁丢的鸡蛋,真没素质,哎呀,哪里的菠菜,不知道菠菜有可能有辐射物吗?哎呦,咦?黄瓜,嘻嘻,晚饭有了,黄瓜炒蛋】当一个伪女纸,枕着一根据说高级到可以重复使用n+n+1次的环保纯绿色美国进口验孕棒,装着一大脑袋的两道杠,拒绝了夏萌那超级平坦伟岸的胸怀,已及下面那热情似火的小弟弟的盛情邀请后,第二天一早,没做体力劳动的他仍旧顶着两个好像做过超负荷重体力作业后的国宝黑钻眼睛,闪亮亮,华丽丽的站在了一早就在他家楼下蹲点作业的李煜目前。&ldo;呦,小夏,没和你家大编辑报告啊,都有了,可不能瞎胡闹了啊,这头几个月是不能的,你年轻,不懂,我这个做姐姐的不能不告诉你……&rdo;破布开场,洪水难挡,虽然李煜的话都是好话,可这话到了齐睿耳朵里怎么听味道怎么不对,怎么听,怎么觉得像青楼里顶颗巨大黑痣,叼个烟斗,吧嗒吧嗒边抽烟,边和那群猥琐男人推荐着这位姑娘善抚琴,那个丫头会吹箫。【不许不纯洁,此吹箫就是吹箫,我看谁敢想歪了,我看谁敢,呜呜,其实私语第一个想歪了……我魂飘】&ldo;李姐,我知道了,我们没……&rdo;&ldo;哎呀,不用解释,你别看你姐我现在老了,可是,想当年,我也是咱台里的一枝花啊,那不说沉鱼落雁、闭月羞花,也是能迷死潘安,吹倒宋玉啊……&rdo;齐睿就看着11月略显单薄的空气中,那唾沫星翻着花的在空气里折腾,忆起了蒋墨玉之前关于李煜此番言论的另一个版本。李煜,女,1970年生人,30岁才靠着关系混进台里,号称台内一枝花――狗尾巴花,此女堪称色女之首,无有沉鱼落雁之姿,闭月羞花之貌,却凭着一颗比小强他哥屎壳强还坚强的意志流,想扑倒台内有潘安宋玉之称的两大美男,意图从她家那只秃顶鸡跳槽到&ldo;真龙&rdo;身旁一同化龙成凤,然而,事迹是可嘉的,事实是惨痛的,当她已经不知道是第几次想扑倒美男播音员时,终于被长年在市政府茅坑里蹲点的秃顶鸡察觉,并暴打一顿,拖回家中……齐睿看着还在持续不断做着破布洒水运动的李煜,心里突然对女人的生存状态产生了丝同情,在男人们随意播种的时候,女人已经在为那不知闲逛到哪里的青春而提早做起了防洪工作。他有些释然,至少在他家里面,和谐是大主题。齐睿想到这里,眉头不禁抽搐了两下,除了那一大一小俩砸场捣乱的。有了李煜做开胃菜,前往医院看望蒋墨玉的路途似乎少了丝压抑,多了几分咆哮体的轻松。&ldo;小夏,我们买点果篮过去吧,再给她买些脑白金,脑黄金啥的补补脑,不然孩子喝了她的奶,不定长大了变成啥缺心眼的缺德样呢……哎,小夏,也就是你,要是她坑了我一千五百块,昨天别说管,我连看都不看她……&rdo;巨侠就是巨侠,比芙蓉她爹还来的意识流巨大,话题无休止,言论不停歇。说自己的话,让别人听去吧。喷自己的水,让别人无水可喷。这三句话,真的是李煜过半人生的真实写照啊!

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