第46章 改变（第2页）
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曾义从口袋里掏出钥匙打开家门，不知怎么有一股凉飕飕的感觉
曾义走进家里打开冰箱，里面还存放着那天走时没吃完的剩菜
曾义检查完冰箱把一些肉和菜拿出来就走进了厨房，临走时母亲还不忘把用过的碗筷清洗干净
曾义打开水龙头洗菜，装了碗水把肉放进去解冻
“饿了吗？怎么能让你自己动手，放着让外婆来”
外婆看着曾义踩着小板凳自己做饭，急忙上前想要接替他手里的活
“不用，我自己来”
这是妈妈买的曾义不知道为什么，哪怕是这一点很日常的东西，人家上来帮忙他都感觉是在掠夺他和母亲最后一点回忆
“你还小，以后再让你做，现在外婆做给你吃”
外婆没有理会曾义的话还想要上前帮忙，曾义放下菜面露不悦的再次重复
“谢谢，不用了，我可以自己做的，可以让我安静会儿吗？”
见曾义如此坚持外婆这才将手收回来，走出了厨房
曾义继续做着手里的事情，洗着洗着他突然感觉鼻头一酸
他关闭了水龙头，快跑到母亲的房间锁上了房门，母亲的房间东西摆放有序整洁，和床上的凌乱形成了鲜明的对比
曾义上前整理好那凌乱的被子和被单，按照母亲当时教的那样被子该怎么叠床单该怎么铺
整理好后曾义躺在母亲的床上，上面还留有一些母亲的味道
他看着天花板眼泪夺眶而出一滴两滴，原来疼痛只是延后并不是不存在
曾义哭得撕心裂肺哭声凄凉，正在吃早饭的金泰妍一家听了个真切
“小义小义！怎么了？生什么事了？”
大姨以为曾义出什么事了连忙冲上楼想要查看情况，结果门被曾义反锁
她着急的都想要撞开房门，曾义担心大姨会破坏掉母亲房门锁
手胡乱擦了擦眼泪，来到门边对大姨说
“我没事，我想一个人静静”
“那你开门让姨姨看看，姨姨确认你没事就可以，你不可以锁门”
“吧嗒”曾义打开了房间门，他不想让家里任何摆设被改变
无奈他现在做不了主只能打开房门让大姨确认，确认无误后大姨抱了抱曾义哄道
“知道我们小义是男子汉，从来不哭鼻子的，姨姨出去啦，有什么事情跟姨姨说哦”
在大姨离开后曾义再次关上了房门，他走到母亲的书桌前上面放着一封信
信上大大的几个字“我的儿子，曾义亲启”
曾义拆开了信看了起来，信密密麻麻的写了好几页
有对自己的嘱咐有对自己的期许，更多的是对自己的抱歉
曾义这才知道妈妈患有严重的躁郁症，这个病症折磨了她很久很久
她曾无数次想过轻生，可每次这么想的看着还牙牙学语的自己她又担心
带着儿子一起去，她又不忍心，毕竟儿子还没看过这大千世界
直到感觉儿子已经长大能够独立照顾自己后，母亲这才选择解脱了自己
母亲写的很工整很详细生怕哪里写的不详细，
自己的儿子看不懂或者会错意，曾义看了一个多小时反反复复看了许多遍
几千字很多曾义看了一个多小时，几千字又很少它装不下母亲哪怕万分之一的爱与期待
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