第33章 我的安然(第1页)
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一个星期后,上午第三节课,
东城高中一号教学楼门口,停着一辆救护车。在曹尤鱼老师和其他同事的目送下,一位老先生被抬了上去。这位老先生正是一班的语文老师。退休返聘的他,本想在三尺讲台上继续发光发热,而今迫于无奈,只能永远离开了奉献一生的岗位,休养生息(苟延残喘)。
半小时前,
老先生给一班的同学讲解上周命题作文的要点和写法。准备讲解后,运用这两堂课的时间让同学们自行修改誊抄,上交修改版。在修改之前,他邀请三位同学读一读自己的作文,以作案例,点拨思路。
肖百万第一个把手举得高高的。语文老师一见:哟呵,太阳打西边儿出来,学渣居然变主动了?可喜可贺,值得鼓励。于是请他朗读自己的作文。
肖百万站起身,摊开自己的作文本,有模有样地朗读:
“题目:校园之美。”
“在我眼里,学校最美的不是高高的教学楼,不是长长的运动跑道、不是花、不是草、不是鱼儿、不是猫。”
“最美的风景,是我们一直在讲台上孜孜不倦、任劳任怨、遍体鳞伤、摸爬滚打的老师们…。。啊~~~”
安然对肖百万的开场白给予了高度评价:“拙劣归拙劣,难为他又强行押韵又用了排比句,乱用成语的情况下还把事情给说清楚了,Emmm。。。。。。居然有感叹词,肖百万用心了。”
他还顺带夸奖许多:“在辅导肖百万写作文这件事上,队长比我有本事。”
他夸奖早了,早了5秒。5秒后,他恨不得把自己夸肖百万的词儿全部刮回来,碾碎,吞进肚子里。
肖百万朗读愈发深情:
“在上百位老师里,我们语文老师的美独占鳖头、独得花魁。”
刚夸完许多的安然心里掠过一丝不祥,嘴上吐槽:“是鳌、不是鳖,那叫【独占鳌头】!另外管70岁的老头儿叫花魁?这又是什么鬼?”
肖百万:“他婀娜多姿、千娇百媚、长发飘飘、美艳动人。”
安然惊得坐直身子:“!!!!!!!”
肖百万:“他那双比小鹿犬还要突出的大眼睛,比360v安全电压更电人。”
安然:“安全电压是36v,等等!什么眼睛来着?”
肖百万:“他大胸大屁股,细脖子细腰、皮肤滑嫩、身材高挑。用一个字来形容,那就是【性感】!比我招过的所有会所女子。。。。。以及会所男子,都还要性感……100倍!”
安然已经不吐槽肖百万了,他朝墙根挪了挪、窗帘后边儿躲一躲,免得待会儿某人的血溅到他身上。
陆千川审视自己的作文:“还好还好,同样是写人,小爷我的作文和肖百万一比,正常至少100倍。”
躲在窗帘后边儿的安然一听这话,直觉告诉他,同桌很可疑,遂伸出手:“把你的作文给我瞧瞧。”
陆千川罕见地严正拒绝同桌,直接把文稿藏在了身后:“不行,不能给你看。”
打认识以来,这还是陆千川头一遭不答应安然的要求。
你越不答应,越可疑。安然试图趁其不备硬抢。以陆千川的体格和力量,200%对安然降维碾压,两人扭扭抢抢、目无法纪、好不热闹。
“啊~~你是我的朱砂痣,你是我的白月光,你是风儿我是沙,你是马桶我是刷。你的一颦一笑指引我前进的方向,就像雅典娜指引圣斗士那样!”肖百万的朗诵还在继续。
忽然间,前排人声嘈杂、桌子板凳移动声混乱一片。
“班长!不好啦!老师晕倒啦!”
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