第31章(第2页)
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“休了老子?你问他敢吗?”
“把拔,休了小黑,休了小黑!”
“天天,胡说八道。跟谁学的?你知道什么叫休了?”
“就是不和小黑睡觉,狐狸姨姨说的。”
炸毛大叔:“==||||||”
“嘿咩嘿咩,老子不单和你爹睡觉,还和你爹亲嘴儿,摸你爹屁股,摸你爹小鸡鸡……嗷——冯天光,你敢拿板凳打老子?要不是父王说打老婆的爷们不是纯爷们,都不长小鸡鸡,老子、老子、老子……”
“老子你妹!张嘴闭嘴老子老子,你是谁老子?滚滚滚,甭在这儿污染我儿子。”
“臭馒头还用老子污染?你没听见他怎么挑拨咱夫妻关系?他根本就是一黑了心的坏馒头!老子今儿替天行道,狠狠收拾他,让他知道知道谁是他老子!呸呸——”
摩拳擦掌吐唾沫,狼崽子跃跃欲试,要继承优良传统,用他父王教育他的方法教育下一代。
“我是他老子!”
毋庸置疑,不许任何怀疑与争辩。
“好嘛好嘛,老子委屈一下,允许臭馒头叫老子爹爹。也就你是老子老婆,老子才让步哟!你别得寸进尺爬老子头上哟!”
“爬你个芥菜头!”
炸毛大叔觉得再和狼崽子废话下去,就要窒息死了。索性从水里捞出白馒头,浴巾包好,抱出浴室。
狼崽子不懂,他都肯忍耐让步了,他老婆到底还哪里不满意,粗声粗气对他鼻子不是鼻子脸不是脸的。
挠头想半天,想明白了——他老婆害羞了!
爹爹不是总殴打父王吗?父王说了,打是亲骂是爱,爱到极致拿脚踹。可爱的有个性的老婆都用暴力表现欢喜与羞涩。
摸摸鼻子,狼脸红成猴屁股。
流水哗哗,炸毛大叔在淋浴喷头下思考幼儿教育问题。
小孩子学习能力太强,有样学样。自打狼崽子进入他家,他儿子便快速成长起来,从天真无邪的白莲花一下子进化到胡话溜丢的小流氓,照此下去,只怕前途无亮!
这可要不得。
今后,他得加强管理,教会孩子什么该说什么不该说,什么该学什么不该学。还得训练好狼崽子,不许他再在小孩子面前污言秽语骂脏字。狼崽子要敢不听话……就让他去睡狗窝!哼!
“老婆,老子来啦!老子要和你一起洗香香,来来来,先给老子洗小鸡鸡!”
眨眨眼,看看那强健的年轻体魄,看看那挺立在草丛里的愤怒的大鸟,看看那流氓的笑容——
“滚——色狼崽子臭流氓!”
叮咣五四,能扔出去的东西全部用来充当打狼的武器。
嗷呜嗷呜,狼崽子挨了几下打,趴在地上变回狼形,摇动大尾巴扑向炸毛大叔。
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