第60页(第2页)
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患者会觉得身边有人,陪自己散步,陪自己说心里,或者觉得心里最挂念的那个人一直在身边如影随形。
裴炀的身体还在抖,他像是陷入在自我痛苦情绪中不可自拔,完全听不进傅书濯的话。
“我对不起他,我好想他……”
傅书濯知道裴炀说的“他”是自己,可他明明就在身边,裴炀却隔着世界痛苦想念。
即便心疼得要命,傅书濯还是除了安抚还是什么都做不到。
坦白的风险太大,裴炀真的能接受这个真实的世界,接受母亲已经去世的事实吗?
傅书濯不敢冒这个险,裴炀患病本就有太多压抑情绪的诱因,他怕一个处理不当就会让裴炀急恶化。
他轻抚裴炀的头,将他整个人笼在怀里,尽可能给到安全感。
他轻声说:“你没有对不起他。”
裴炀可以说对不起妈妈,对不起父亲——但唯独没有对不起他傅书濯。
傅书濯眼眶微红:“是他对不起你。”
一直颤栗的裴炀像是突然惊醒,他猛得推开傅书濯,慌乱而无措:“别碰我!”
“……”四角恋大戏又开始了。
傅书濯只能拉开距离:“不碰你,对不起,刚刚只是看你很伤心拥抱安慰,朋友之间也会有拥抱的,对不对?”
裴炀茫然点头:“对的……”
“你难过我也会难过——”傅书濯朝他伸手,“所以别难过好不好?”
裴炀脸上还挂着泪痕,表情愣愣的:“好……你不要看我。”
他真的好坏,一边想念先生,一边又会因为傅书濯说难过而难过。到头来,他没对得起任何人,爸,妈,先生,傅书濯……
傅书濯无奈,只能转过大半身体:“我不看。”
裴炀轻轻一颤。
这一瞬间,傅书濯的背影竟然和先生有所重合。
两人隔着一米的距离,蹲在街上僵持了好久。
行人来来往往,投以各类目光,路边的花开得正旺,偶尔还有鸟儿在歌唱。
裴炀大脑慢慢放空,完全忘了自己刚刚在做什么,为什么心里会这么难过。
许久他抬起头,轻声说:“我饿了。”
傅书濯都做好跟他在这耗到半夜的准备了,闻言立刻说:“那我们现在就去吃饭,好不好?”
裴炀点点头:“好……我想吃蟹黄捞面。”
“……好。”傅书濯败给裴炀了。
他算是现,在所有记忆中,裴炀印象最深刻的就是吃得。
古城确实有家蟹黄捞面很好吃,是裴炀最爱的捞面没有之一。
“那手给我牵下。”傅书濯补充说,像哄小孩子一样循循善诱,“朋友也可以牵手,这里人好多,我怕自己走丢。”
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